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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

BLW - Can I have a show of hands, please?

121 replies

MummyTL · 26/05/2007 20:58

Purely out of curiosity, and in no way to pass judgement, here's a quick poll for parents with babies who are being weaned at the mo.
Are you doing BLW or pureé?
Did you start off one way and then switch to the other?
Any comments as to why you chose this particular route are very welcome. Especially from parents who had heard about BLW but chose not to. Thanks folks.

OP posts:
Habbibu · 05/06/2007 14:01

N has barely gagged at all (now heading towards 8 months) and it's clear that she understands chewing and manipulating food around her mouth. What I wonder, though, is what the Karmels, etc of this world expect you to do if your baby, like mine, refuses to be spoon-fed? N will take a spoon for yoghurt and porridge if she (a) pulls my hand towards her and gets the spoon into her mouth that way, or (b)picks up the loaded spoon off her tray herself. Had we been trying to spoonfeed, I reckon we'd still be trying to finish the first ever meal, as even those 2 approaches generally lead to about 2 1/2 spoons going in. She has, I have to say, gagged a lot more during breastfeeding...

Aitch · 05/06/2007 14:12

also, wrt to simon langley-evans... i don't know why i'm really taking seriously the comments of a man who says 'the handling of food in the mouth is not an innate process'. that's got to be rubbish, hasn't it? i mean it must be, we've all seen it with our own eyes.

Enid · 05/06/2007 14:15

"most blwers do use spoons for things like porridge etc, but more from a convenience perspective than a 'i must get this child to eat more' one"

SoupDragon · 05/06/2007 14:18

"we've all seen it with our own eyes" Not me

alarkaspree · 05/06/2007 14:47

I'm not completely convinced about BLW. I did it with ds, because I had no choice - he spat out anything mushy on a spoon. But he wasn't a great self-feeder either, for a long time, and I tried to relax about it and believe that he'd do it when he was ready. Which he does now usually. But I am still not relaxed because his diet, controlled by him, is just not very good. When presented with a nice varied balanced meal he throws all the vegetables on the floor. And the protein, unless it is unhealthily salty. Whereas dd who was weaned on purees ate anything and eveything until she was about two, although she's a little more fussy now. I do wonder whether if ds had eaten purees with a greater range of flavours he would be a bit more adventurous.

I did like being lazy though.

Coriander73 · 05/06/2007 14:55

MY poor MIL, she can't cope watching DS eat BLW style! Blueberries & grapes make her positively hyperventilate, despite me reassuring her that he'll be fine As for apricots, he just puts most of it in his mouth & just spits out the skin, although does eat pear with skin now as I can't be faffed peeling anymore & he's fine

Aitch, could you resend email pls?

Aitch · 05/06/2007 16:26

oh good, soupy and enid are here. echo the thunks all you want, ladies, the use of spoons been discussed on here. and you've both been on the threads, so no point in pretending otherwise, even for hilarious comic effect.

if i mention that it's the 'mentality' or 'thinking' behind BLW that's the thing, rather than a rigorous adherence to rules that aren't even written, you must be sure to come back and again, won't you?

soupy, you started a thread asking if no-one else's child had been unable to 'do' BLW and didn't get one person with the same experience as yours. there were people who it didn't suit, or who didn't want to trust their chid to eat for themselves, or who just plain didn't want to, but that is not the same as not being able to do it.

there was, however, another person once who came on a blw 'debate' thread (started by enid, in all likelihood) and she said that her son had undiagnosed special needs and needed therefore to be spoon fed as he lacked an instinct for 'copying', so i acknowledged that.

i have no idea why babydragon didn't want to self-feed, nor why she lost weight if she was being fed milk on demand. i have some theories, but you're frankly so dismissive and frightening on the subject i wouldn't dare broach them with with you.

anyway, away, you'll not get me to believe that because one baby in hundreds and hundreds didn't self-feed that it means that the desire to mouth food isn't innate. but i'll be asking a physiologist specialist rather than a nutritionist, just to be certain.

Aitch · 05/06/2007 16:36

alarkaspree, if dd's on a bit of a veggie strike i give her loads of carrots and peas and cucumber etc during the day as snacks. i recently found that cutting carrots into slices rather than chunks pleases her highness more...

SoupDragon · 05/06/2007 16:53

No need to be so rude Aitch. You said we've all seen it and I said that I hadn't. I don't know why she's didn't (and often still won't) do it and, quite frankly, I don't actually care very much. You seem to be ignoring the fact that I'm often suggesting people try finger foods when they're having problems weaning but I guess that doesn't fit in with your tirade does it?

As for the spoons, the implication has always been that if you are spoonfeeding your child you must be forcing them to eat more than they wish to and that is something I've always maintained is utter b*llox.

Anyway, don't worry, I won't be back.

Aitch · 05/06/2007 17:06

och that's rubbish, soupy, i'm not implying any such thing. dd was not the sort of child that could be fed a millilitre more formula than she wanted, nor i'm sure could i have over-fed her with a spoon. i've often said that and i've often addressed it to you directly in fact.

fact is, the etc are rude and snippy, especially when you know that the 'idea' of BLW is not as simplistic as 'no spoons'. fgs, i even changed the tagline of the blog after you and i discussed it before on here, as i felt that you had made a really good point about how it might be read by other people.

i have no issue with what you said about babydragon, i'd have been delighted to respond more than graciously to that as she is an interesting example, but the got on my tits, given that we'd discussed the issue in great (veering towards boring) detail before.

Grrrr · 05/06/2007 17:23

Ds2 is approaching 9 months and 3 months ago I was thanking my lucky stars that we'd got to almost 6 months with just milk and thinking wouldn't this blw thing be great, no pureeing etc etc.

However ds2 has other ideas. He will handle food no problem but after almost 3 weeks of him watching me put all kinds of cooked vegetable batons, bits of soft fruit, bits of pasta, dollops of potato, porridge soggy cereal ,dollops of pasta etc in front of him and showing him me putting the food in my mouth and leaving him to it, no stress, with a back off kind of attitude, we had got nowhere.

I resorted to the old fashioned way and he has the usual cereal/porridge for breakfast, mashed up lunch and mashed up tea, yoghurt and fruity stuff etc although it has to be very smooth for him not to reject it. He has only just got teeth, although I thought they didn't need teeth for weaning and is starting to handle lumps a bit better without gagging.

So in a way we are doing blw in as much as I have been led by him into providing food in a form that he finds acceptable. He makes it quite clear when he has had enough and we always stop at that point, there is no pressure to eat more with each passing week or to "just finish up the bowl of whatever".

He has his own spoon too which he happily waves around and occasionally hits his mouth with, for an added bonus spoonful.

Gill Rapley's blw didn't work for us and I am a bit peeved but there you go, I'm not going to withold all food until he conforms to putting it into his own mouth by himself.

Enid · 05/06/2007 18:20

By PrisonerCellBlockAitch on Tue 27-Feb-07 00:01:54
i don't think it would be confusing at all for the baby, but remember, technically you'd be doing a mix of finger food and purees, not BLW. cos blw is aaaaall about the finger food and no spooning.

but as long as you wait until the 6 month mark then the baby should be able to self-feed and you can puree as well. it won't be BLW, cos that's more of a concept but no-one's knocking it if a mix is what you fancy doing.

that is why I

so when did that change?

Enid · 05/06/2007 18:29

And aitch, I know we have been over this, but please stop assuming that I only ask these questions for a laugh/to get a rise/to be a bully.

I really DO NOT UNDERSTAND and if I dont, then it is quite likely others dont either, so therefore IS BLOODY VALID!!!

[breathe]

Enid · 05/06/2007 18:30

Tbh, if someone had said to me 'Oh BLW, is letting your baby feed themselves on bits of your supper but you can spoon in the messy stuff' I would have been a total convert . That is what your thunkable message seems to be saying. That is NOT what you seemed to be saying a few months ago.

Am I going comopletely mad??

ruddynorah · 05/06/2007 18:32

have you read this enid? it explains it quite well. scroll down and someone asks about spooning runny stuff.

Enid · 05/06/2007 18:58

oh right. so you can spoon runny stuff then in BLW. Thanks for that ruddynorah.

ruddynorah · 05/06/2007 19:03

she's saying yes if you really feel you must, but there is no need to. babies don't need runny food at all, and they'll do fine with their hands if you just let them get on with it. that's the point with blw, just let your baby get on with it, there is no need to spoon.

Aitch · 05/06/2007 20:57

if you read it again, the quote of mine that you've lifted from six months ago said 'spooning' not spoons. my position is completely consistent. spooning, ie, trying to give the baby food when it doesn't want it, which, although it wouldn't have been possible with my baby At All, is something that i have seen Some Of my friends do.

i have seen it with my own eyes, clever, cool, informed women employing distraction techniques because they know the amount their baby 'needs' to eat. it's the sort of thing that's in many a weaning book, great big charts saying that babies should be eating 2-3 tbsp of this puree or that, so people not unreasonably feel a burden of responsibility to 'get' that amount into their children. it's utterly fair enough, it's what the books say, but it is one area where BLW and trad weaning completely parts ways.

this is clearly the 'implication' that soupy finds so offensive, although i don't make it. even as the mother of a PFB i think it would have gone against my instinct to employ distraction techniques to feed dd purees, not to mention the fact that i very much doubt she'd have played along.

so i'm in no sense saying that every person who feeds their child with a spoon is shovelling in food with no regard for the baby?s appetite.

there is NO clear causal line being drawn between parental over-feeding and spoon-feeding, but you'd have to admit that it's possible. It?s not possible with BLW because you remove yourself from the process so it can never be an issue. that, i think, is attractive.

given that there's no real developmental reason for eating runny foods when solid food will do just as well, then you don't need spoons at all for BLW. i never used them because DD didn't have yoghurt, she ate the veg and beans out of soup and she ate porridge pancakes, so we never needed to.

if, however, you want to give your child runny food, it would be ludicrous to be so dogmatic as to not do so using a spoon, particularly when there are no 'rules' anyway.

but if you're going to and doing BLW then try to do it with a 'no spooning' head on, rather than a 'i'm using a spoon to feed my child because i do not trust him to eat as much as i think he should' head on. Which is what I said, I think.

to give you an example, when i asked the parents who use my blog for their views on spoons, most said they used them for runny stuff but that they either loaded the spoons up and the baby grabbed them or that they held the spoon in such a way that the baby bobbed forward for the food, indicating that they were more than willing to eat. this may of course be what people who use purees do for the most part but since we're not doing that kind of weaning we don't really have to care about what other people are doing, do we?

and i think the reason that i assume you are making a snidey joke is because if you were saying 'i don't understand, i thought the whole point was about not using spoons?' then a. you could do so without the and b. we've already discussed the issue of spoons and spooning at great length so i rather assumed that you did understand. if you really didn't then i am more than happy to apologise.

Enid · 05/06/2007 21:13

apology accepted

Aitch · 05/06/2007 21:17

LOL!

Dragonhart · 05/06/2007 21:58

Still not decided either way but as I said, my ds was weaned the 'traditional way' with purees furst and he still gagged on finger food when I gave it to him.

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