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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Original poster

Should I start weaning yet?

222 replies

fairysnuff · 10/02/2007 18:59

DD has decided to start waking up at 5.30-7ish every morning for a feed. This is not norm for her. I was happy to go with it, thinking it wouldn't be for long, but it has been a while now (a week or so).
Is she ready to wean?
Should I start giving her some food between her last night feeds (second to last feed at 7ish and last at 8.30ish)
Most books say to give lunchtime feeds first, but she needs to get through the night, will a lunchtime feed help??
So confused by it all and totally feel that it is too early! She is just 20 weeks, 21 on Tuesday.
Help!

OP posts:
QueenofTwee · 12/02/2007 21:49

I weaned dd at 6months +. However, as she was born one month early, I wonder how much difference this would have made to how developed her gut was. You have to start at 6 months, don't you as they need the iron, but I was wondering the implications for babies born very prematurely? Just a thought! I have only ever exclusively bf and never given formula, and plan to do so until she no longer wants it (she's now 8 month 1/2 months) - as mentioned earlier, feeding solids has made no difference to how well she sleeps. In fact she always needs a marathon bfeed of about 1 1/2 hours before she sleeps, regardless of what solids she's eaten.

Twinklemegan · 12/02/2007 21:55

Aitch - All I can say is I erred very much on the side of caution with introducing solids, definitely giving less rather than more. DS kept on having more and more milk as well. If anyone must wean before 26 weeks that's what I'd say - give very very little to start with and increase very gradually. Much better to satisfy baby's hunger with milk than the other way round.

AitchTwoOh · 12/02/2007 22:15

exactly, twinkle. there has to be a balance... and with regards to a permanent thread that women can google for when looking for weaning advice your cautious approach will be of tremendous value. but if you don't have to do it then my attitude is why give yourself the hassle of early weaning if you don't have to? come and play isketch...

3LoveHeartsAndNoMore · 12/02/2007 23:11

coriander...you don't have to justify yourself, but what is your issue with giving your child 7 milk feeds? I mean, if you demand feed you tend NOT to count the feeds or how long they last etc...
and sorry but you can't have loved bf that much and believed in it very much if you felt you had to add formula!and have the opinion you have.
also, the point is that weaning them at 26 weeks or later (although later not sure) will not do them harm, where there is a possible risk you take earlier...of the ones we know off...no one knows the unknown!
Gp's actually being up to date on weaning...you are having a larf...sorry but gp's do probably worry about other things then keeping up date with up to date weaning advice for Baby's..and I suppose you can't blame them...HV...different story it's their job to keep updated!
rofl at mumofben...thought it might be...wonder why that book is unmentionable...oh yeah, there was that bit of her pretending to have knowledge of feeding an infant, even bf..but oooops, really not down to research or real knowledge, lmao...sorry!

Coriander73 · 13/02/2007 09:44

Quite frankly, you have no right to question whether I loved BF or not..you know not of my circumstances or current situation. The tone of your message is rather accusatry & not appreciated in the slightest. What incredible support you people seem to offer....rather amazes me. Thank G-d I'm not a first time Mother listening to this scpiel.

AitchTwoOh · 13/02/2007 09:55

seriously coriander, you seem to have quite a big chip on your shoulder about this. if you're happy with your choice to ignore the WHO guidelines then i just don't see what your beef is or why you are being so rude.
the OP had her question more than adequately and supportively answered. as i recall, she said she was 'confused by it all and totally feel that (21 weeks) is too early'. she's completely correct in that regard and therefore unlikely to feel undermined by the many posters who have come on to support the WHO guidelines. if anything, you've obfuscated the issues by bringing in the subject of your friends' guilt over not bfing. don't really get the relevance, tbh.
and for the record as an ex-demand feeder i too was surprised that you were counting feeds. not horrified, just surprised as it would never have occurred to me to do so as what would have been the point?

Chillout · 13/02/2007 09:58

That's not beef and chips on Cori's shoulder, it's carrot puree....

Shall we all play nice and just leave it now?

AitchTwoOh · 13/02/2007 10:01

mmmmm, beef and chips...
i am playing nice, chillout. i truly don't get coriander's point.

kiskidee · 13/02/2007 10:34

i get pissed off everytime someone mentions that the WHO guidelines is for 3rd world babies, for lots of reasons.

i looked at the document noticed it said 'Honduras and other non-EU populations' or some such. It seems to handily ignore that fact that one of the non-EU countries that the document does not specify is the good ole USofA. I don't have time to research the document today but damned sure i have read it in the recent past.

Another thing, here is document from the good ole NHS that backs up my claim above in part anyway. of main interest is point number 4 but all of it is plain reading good stuff.

infant feeding recommendation.

kiskidee · 13/02/2007 10:34

i meant christywhisty's link btw.

Original poster
fairysnuff · 13/02/2007 11:25

Ok this has got to stop.
As the orginial Poster (is that what op means?) I am feeling responsible for all this acrimony and it is beginning to upset me.

I am grateful for all your opinions and will take a little of this and a little of that. I will not be held to the 6 months if I feel it is not suitable for my child and will use it as a guideline, but not a rule.If she goes on to 7-8 or even 9 months that will also be ok by me. I suppose this thread has given me enough info to feel confident in leaving it longer, which is good.

I appreciate all forms of advice and like best to hear of peoples personal experience, in order that I can weigh their experiences against my own (God I am shaking as I write this for fear of upsetting either parties )
I am a BF and I have to say, in corianders defence, that I too count my feeds. I'm not saying I tick them off as the day goes on but when it is getting on in the day, I use it as a mental check list to be sure that she has probably had enough and will be fine to get a good nights sleep. I use it as reassurance that she will sleep well, and my absentmindeness has not left her short.

But can I ask that if you want to continue the debate you carry it on in your own names so that I do not feel responsible for any more upset?

I hope I have not upset anyone and, as I say, I am very grateful for all your advice, but my quest for info has turned into your debate and, had it been face to face it might not have cone to this point. It is too easy to get carried away on these sites, don't you think ?

OP posts:
3LoveHeartsAndNoMore · 13/02/2007 11:33

Coriander,. I am sorry I cause offence....I re read my message and can understand why you didn't care for the tone, I definately could have put things more diplomatic....so, just wanted to say sorry!
Fairysnuff, don't think there is any need for you to feel guilty...but sorry it upset you!

AitchTwoOh · 13/02/2007 11:45

the OP is not responsible for how their thread turns out. first rule of MN.

but for the record, i think coriander has been more insulting than insulted on this thread. people have been offering support, just not agreeing with her, that's all.

kiskidee · 13/02/2007 13:26

don't be upset fairysnuff. this always happens on weaning threads. it doesn't mean it is all right. but you just get a thicker skin the longer you are here. besides, lots of good information gets handed to loads of lurkers who also benefit from it - the carry on just keeps them reading.

clairemow · 13/02/2007 13:37

I've been reading, sorry lurking on, this thread with interest as I have a baby bit older than Fairysnuff's... I wasn't going to post, but I feel really uncomfortable with how people speak to eachother on threads like these. It seems weaning is the new issue to avoid speaking about, so much so that the OP on this thread disappeared and came back worried that she had somehow offended someone.

FWIW, reading Coriander's posts, I don't see that she was coming across as rude, but she was attacked for telling us her experiences. Telling her that she can't have loved bf if she was counting feeds is, imho, insensitive and rather rude, esp since we all know how emotive bf can be as a subject. A very quick way to get someone's back right up...

Ok, I'm off now, and fully expecting to be told to get off the thread..!

Coriander73 · 13/02/2007 13:38

3lovehearts, apology accepted
AitchTwooh...more insulating? Maybe you should read through the posts again....

clairemow · 13/02/2007 13:41

P.S. I have a feeling threads like these may put off many people from actually asking a question in the first place - surely the first rule of MN should be that it's here as a support network, not as somewhere where you might get shot down in flames if you ask the "wrong" question?

Right, really am off now.

3LoveHeartsAndNoMore · 13/02/2007 13:48

coriander

DizzyBint · 13/02/2007 13:51

claire- the person who started the thread and asked the actual question has not in any way been shot down.

the posters who have given dubious information, quite rightly, have. look through old weaning threads...it happens all the time.

the point of MN is the debate. people love that it gets heated. put your two penneth in, see what reaction you get. if you are fully happy with what you're doing then you should be un concerned what others think of it. if that makes sense.

enjoy!

QueenofTwee · 13/02/2007 15:46

I agree with dixzzybint, it is expected that a debate should arise out issues such as bf and weaning, and due to the nature of these issues, concerning the nourishment of our precious little darlin's, the debate can be a very emotive one.
Of course the OP should not feel responsible for any possible upset caused, her post was a genuine request for advice and not at all inflammatory.
One of the problems with posting opinions is that our tone is often not clear (unlike when we speak face-to-face) and people` can offend/ be offended unintentionally. I would beg people not to feel quite so sensitive - aren't we having a healthy debate? It is a positive thing, I feel that the importance of the WHO recommendations has been highlighted, and explanations for its recommendations given.

AitchTwoOh · 13/02/2007 16:41

i agree with dizzy and queenoftwee. also there is no 'wrong question', just wrong answers that must be challenged when they occur. personal opinion is all very well but the 'never did me any harm' approach to child-rearing ignores acres of reputable medical research into their development.

JingleBelle · 13/02/2007 18:44

I'm sorry to perpetuate this thread, but I couldn't let it go on any longer without comment. I agree that many of the posts have intended to be informative and try to provide research and evidence to support reasons for postponing weaning to 6+ months at a minimum, however, you surely cannot believe that a thread on which one MN member can tell another to P* off is "healthy debate"?!! I really had to resist the urge to report that poster to Mumsnet, as I for one, found it offensive, not to say childish in the utmost. The poster's offspring might be fed according to all WHO guidelines, but I hope to goodness they don't inherit their parent's potty mouth.
I have many questions about weaning, but to be sure I will be seeking advice in much less offensive and personal attack prone fora.
I'm all for healthy debate, but some posters should take a good long look at themselves and perhaps think of the phrase "do as you would be done by" before posting their messages.

3LoveHeartsAndNoMore · 13/02/2007 19:23

that person did apologise btw...or is that not so important....must say...hm, personally I am far more offended when terms like Bresatfeeding Nazi Mafia, et al are bandied around the forum...surely that is not exactly debating in a healthy and grown up manner?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/02/2007 19:23

How very restrained of you jinglebelle.

I might add that I also retracted it straight after.

And conducted myself very civilly after eating some chocolate.......

but thank you for your useful addition to the 'debate'.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/02/2007 19:24

Clearly not 3, and of course it is so much better to cast aspersions about a poster and their "offspring". Thats much more polite.