If you chose NOT to do BLW, what were your reasons?

[mrsb26]

Looking to start weaning dd soon and have been reading up on various approaches.

I understand that baby led weaning seems to be the 'thing' for many mums at the moment. I see its benefits in many ways, but also air on the side of caution with it for other reasons.

If you chose to wean traditionally (eg puréed food first), what were your trains for not doing BLW?

Am I right in saying that the NHS recommends a combination of purées and finger foods from around six months?

I started on purée and quickly moved on to finger foods I'd like to say this was because it was the plan but I had no idea what baby led weaning was then so I'd be lying !!

Looking back I think it worked well giving him purée for his first experience of eating and that letting him have finger food in a variety if tastes textures etc allowed him to be quite a confident and non fussy eater
grasps straws really I thought that's just what people did

I really liked the fact that my blw kids ate as much as they wanted to. No over feeding.

I did not do it due to mess, time, and chaos abd food waste (all that food on the floor!)

also cause it is so faddy and people are such bores about it.

It's all part of seeing having children as a "project" where you have to get everything right (breastfeeding, co sleeping, blw, non-gendering etc) to prove you are a superior parent.

Why is it even a thing, with a name (blw)

Humans have successfully weaned babies in many different ways, successfully, before faddy baby book writers came along.

My babies ate mush, also fed themselves bits, sucked on chunks of bread/fruit.

Why can't mothers trust themselves a bit more and do things following "common sense" and intuition?

I don't follow fads.
I don't believe there is anything 'wrong' with spoon feeding and giving finger foods along side.
I never considered that babies over 6 months had to have 'special' meals or couldn't eat finger foods, I roughly mashed what I was having, (purees were for when we used to wean at 4 months) so the point about not needing special foods isn't really relevant to the newer wean from 6 months guidelines.

Well, DS ate what he wanted. He wasn't force fed. He'd go for the spoon rather than me trying to put the spoon in his mouth. He'd grab the spoon to put it in his mouth. And he'd grab pieces of fruit as I usually put all of his meal in front of him at the same time.
And BLW babies can only choose from what's in front of them anyway. It's not like they have whatever they fancy at the time.
Do whatever works for you and your baby in he way that's most convenient for both and makes both happy.
You don't have to go 100% one way or the other. In anything.

I really liked the fact that my blw kids ate as much as they wanted to. No over feeding.

I never really understood this - is the assumption that if a child is spoonfed or eats purees that they will have the food forced on them whether they want it or not?

Me neither hazey a baby will let you know when they have had enough, turn their head/ push spoon away/ spiit out.

I did BLW completely with DS and he just took to it. Ate well from v young age and had no issues with too much mess (although there was some).

I didn't with DD because she just wasn't up for it. Didn't take to it, wouldn't feed herself and stayed hungry if I didn't help. So she was spoon fed.

Neither approach suits every parent or every child. I think you have to play it by ear a bit.

DS hated purees, he spat them out right away, he just wanted real food so that's what he got. It worked well for us and the mess wasn't a big deal. Who cares anyway?!

He's always eaten really well and is great at using cutlery at 18 months, whereas friends who've given purees are still struggling to get their DDs to eat real food, or use cutlery at the same age. I was quite shocked when we had dinner with friends with a just turned 2 year old last week, and she had her food mashed up because that's all she'll eat. DS was eating off a plate using a fork and knife!

I was quite shocked when we had dinner with friends with a just turned 2 year old last week, and she had her food mashed up because that's all she'll eat.
I would be shocked to see that too, that's not typical of spoon feeding, thats just infantising a child. My child started self feeding with cutlery just after 1 and now at 3 uses knife and fork properly to cut up most things, typical of the dc I have known who were weaned by spoon feeding.

I did 50/50. Either main course finger food and spooned in yoghurt for pud or I spoon fed the main course and they could finger feed fruit for pud.

I didn't quite trust a baby to BLW eat a sufficient amount and not be ravenous within an hour. At least if I had spoon fed something they shouldn't starve.

Im following nhs guidance. But we started around 5months to help with reflux.

I give a mix of finger foods and mashed, spoonable foods. Sometimes i feed her, sometimes i load a spoon and she waves it about like she just dont care feeds herself.

I try not to get to bothered about how baby eats. But i do make sure shes always in high chair and that im eating at same time as her so its a social thing.

Is it though Rabbit? I don't know any friends who've given purees that aren't having some kind of problem getting their dcs to eat 'normal' food now (of the 5 of us who all had babies round about the same time).

Bear how many adults have that problem and most weren't BLW.

I have problems with lumpy food because I was sick a lot when weaning and never got past the smooth food stage. That's really rare.

I have literally no idea! Can't imagine it's common in adults, but then that's not what we're discussing.

I did blw and won't do it again. I was really strict and wouldn't spoon feed dd anything and let her have anything I was eating. Most things just went on the floor, she hardly ate a thing! And when I was on holiday I let her play with a chunk of a cookie (she was 8m) and if was ridiculous. She couldn't eat it and it all disintegrated into her mouth and then all over her clothes. I am so ashamed to think about it now.

I think it's a bit of a fad really. I will go with mushed up food and finger food with dc2.

bear if it was a big problem we'd expect it to be apparent in adults though and it isn't. I'm the only person I know with this issue

I was a nursery nurse in a baby room in a day nursery 15 years ago now, this is when we weaned from 4 months, there was a puree menu for 4-7 months, then from 7 months it was assumed that babies would be on the same menu as the rest of the nursery only with a fork pressed through spoon fed before serving (no blenders by that age) gradually lumps were bigger until by around 1 food was just cut small. I mean as standard, all of the babies there, not the odd one or two would go up to the next (toddler) room eating cut up food by around their 1st birthdays.
I don't remember any of the staff patting ourselves on the back for being so forward thinking for giving babies sandwiches for tea like the other toddlers and children, it was normal because traditional weaning has never involved feeding puree only through the whole of babyhood, when working as a nanny I did work for someone who would want me to blitz up food for her older dd, she was an ambulance call handler at work and she said she had just had too many chocking baby calls, of course I had to respect this, but that is the only person I have known to make first weaning purees for a child approaching a year old, I was quietly concerned but actually her child was eating normally by 18 months, so I need'nt have been. IME (which obviously isn't of every kid in the world) the least picky eaters I have known have been the ones who eat at the table only (ie not occupying themselves with foods) and have good spaces between meals, I personally haven't seen a difference in eating habits between blwers and traditional weaners, but as I said I don't know every child in the world and I have only actually cared for three dc who have blw'd but I must say for me I can't see a difference after child turns about one, most would have appitite drop off at intervals between 1 and 4 sometimes lasting a long time, but the biggest difference I can see in how 'good' an eater a child is, is between children who graze and children who can wait.
I'm like pp above I aim for table only and at an eating time rather than impulsive 'maybe he's hungry' style offerings.

Same as Haggisfish and also the choking hazard.

I thought going from liquid milk straight to chewy lumps was a bit of a shock.

2 year olds who still only eat pureès is mostly fown to lazy (or over anxious) parents. My 4 were all eating 'proper' food by 8-10 months, despite starting on purees.

I get really fed up of some BLWers telling me that parents who use purees overfeed or force feed their children. I'd have liked to see any of you try to force a spoonful of unwanted food into either of my DCs mouths. They could clamp their lips shut like you wouldn't believe once they'd had enough, and you'd have been liable to end up wearing the spoonful of food!

I get really fed up of some BLWers telling me that parents who use purees overfeed or force feed their children

I must admit that one of the reasons I'm hesitant about BLW is because it's too much the other way - that babies perhaps get very little from it nutritionally for the first couple of months or so (or even longer).

I'm also keen to teach dd what food is for. It isn't for throwing around or doing whatever with. We sit at the table and we eat. I understand that children need to be able to feed themselves eventually, but I kind of see spoon feeding as a 'scaffold' in order to teach children how do to it. This, in combination with introducing some finger foods shortly after.

But babies should still get very little nutritionally from solid foods in the first few months. The portions they require are tiny anyway. I started off with baby rice and purees, but ds probably didn't get more than if he was feeding himself.
I agree with you, though, that food should be presented as food. Not as a toy that you can swallow should you happen to put it in your mouth.
In that respect, even when you don't do purees, I think it helps to show what it's for. For example, to have a plate of biscuits and grab them to eat yourself and offer than for the baby to eat too.
Btw, it worked great when ds wasn't keen on food. I'd eat one and offer him the other.

I did a bit of both with dd and am doing the same with DS. I can't see what the issue is with fruit and veg purees to get them to taste different things properly.
For example, this morning I spoon fed DS porridge and gave him a spoon too which he got in his mouth a few times. After that he had a few banana chunks to play with.
Just now while I was cooking he sat in his bumbo and had a go at a piece of buttered toast. A few bits went in. At lunch time I will feed him a chickpea and sweet pot mash and he might join in. He's a really bad milk drinker so I actually need him to eat.
I did the same approach with DD- she's 3 now and a great eater. I don't think there's any need to be obsessed with them feeding themselves every morsel. They are babies: we help them with everything else so why wouldn't we help them get used to food?

Honestly, why all the fuss about whether you BLW or spoonfeed? You sound like you want to spoonfeed, so do that. No problem. No one's going to harangue you for not doing BLW. No HV ever asked what I was doing with my DS1, you don't have to ask their advice or take it. I never saw a HV after about 5 months, barring the 1 yr and 2.5 yr checks, where they didn't ask anything about feeding methods.

I didn't do it with DS1 because I was scared of choking.

He was traditionally weaned and now at 27 mo is a good eater.

He fed himself with cutlery from about 16.5 months.

Sometimes he can be picky and fussy about what he eats but tbh that's more about him being a toddler wanting control than how he was weaned.

DTs are 8.5 mo and I'm much more confident - still doing traditional purée and finger foods - but have moved more quickly into lumps and letting them manage the finger foods sooner.

I couldn't deal with the BLW mess from twins and also with a toddler in the mix I just don't have the time for the DTs to play with food and then need to breastfeed all the time because they're not getting any solids.

They still get plenty of milk but they seem to enjoy their solids hugely too. And they've no problem clamping their mouths shut if they don't want anything else to eat!