Desperate, our meal times have descended into the 7th circle of hell

[TribbleNamedDave]

Please help me, I'm really desperate. My just turned two year old has turned into a nightmare. In the past few weeks he's turned from a lovely eater into a demon.

He won't eat anything, I'm past trying to make him eat. I don't care, I just want him to sit at the table and not throw things.

Help me, I dread meal times. I'm actually sat here on the verge of tears over it all. He just screams and tantrums all the way through dinner times. I've tried ignoring, disciplining, high chair, no high chair, trying to engage him in the cooking process etc. It's turned into this big power play somehow and I don't want that.

Please help me.

Glad it went better. Keep giving him variety and less of the usual stuff

I'm glad things are looking up. When I read your post it took me straight back to last summer when I felt exactly the same about ds1 (5) and dd (2) had just started copying his negative behaviours and I just wanted to cry. Well, actually I did cry, all over DH who clearly thought I was vastly overreacting, but we set down clear rules: 1. Get kids involved in cooking or choosing meals, but they can't dictate what they eat 2. No snacks, except fruit/veg 3. We eat together and we stay at the table 4. You don't have to like it, you don't have to eat it, but this is all there is so why not try a little bit 5. Food is fun and dinner time is social - it's not all about the eating. Honestly, these are all things that people kept suggesting, but I thought I was already doing them when actually I was too exhausted and worn down by it...

DH is more stubborn/strict than me an just refused to allow any let up of the rules and his support gave me the confidence to actually follow through with the rules. Our summer hols were a turning point and things have improved so much since then. They aren't perfect eaters, they still often leave parts of a meal untouched, but every so often they find they like something they've refused before (DS now loves lettuce ffs!) and mealtimes are actually quite pleasant.

So what I really want to say is that you just have to keep going and it does get better. Sometimes what it takes is just to carry on over time. Good luck!

Save ur hot food from the night before and give it at lunchtime? then let him have more of a picky dinner
explain to older child that younger brother hasn't learnt about table manners yet, and that he is showing him how to do this

Just a quick suggestion - we often have dinner leftovers for a speedy hot lunch - couple of minutes in the microwave and job done. I also stock up on small Tupperware when I'm near a pound shop and then portion up leftovers as I go for the freezer in toddler sized pots. It's also less traumatic for me if it gets chucked as it was zero effort to prepare!