Toddler won't eat lumpy food

[Dsiso]

My son will be 2 next month. He won't eat any meals that aren't pureed, but will snack on toast, bread and rice cakes. I desperately need advice on how to get him to chew and eat lumpy food at meal times without him spitting it out or vomiting! Help!

Vomiting is unusual at this age, does he do it with the toast?

What kind of thing do you mean by lumpy? Do you mean pureed or just any food that isn't liquid? What about pasta, potatoes, sticks of veg, bits of cheese? Are they all rejected too?

DS is the same age and for ages would only eat toast or pasta, but we tried to make it more nutritious by giving him different toppings eg avocado, peanut butter, cream cheese, hummus, banana on toast and pasta sauces made with loads of veg, lentils etc.

He really only eats pasta with a sauce in which I put chopped up veggies. I used to mash up the whole lot with a fork. When I give him a spoonful which isn't mashed up, he vomits sometimes to the extent of emptying his whole stomach! With toast, he doesn't gag or vomit and although chews a little, he mostly sucks on the pieces.

I have tried him with toppings other than peanut butter on toast, and he shakes his head, unless I manage to get it in his mouth before he sees it. He will then simply refuse to open his mouth for any more.

My husband says I give too many options, but if he hasn't eaten all day I feel as though I should offer almost anything so he doesn't wake up in the night hungry. It can be really hard. I think I just have to be tough and offer him only 'whole' pieces of food and hope he gets over it.

I think your Dh is right, don't offer alternatives. We learnt this the hard way and its taken a long time to get our dd back on track.

I think you are also right, from now on only offer proper food, ie what you are all eating and let him feed himself.

It can be very hard but serve the food and don't ask him to eat or cajol, just chat and eat amongst yourselves. If he's not eating and everyone else has finished give him a couple of minutes and then clear away.

As with most things with children it will take him about 3 days to work out that if he is hungry he needs to eat what is there, nothing else is coming his way.

Ignore all of his tantrums and stay calm. I know its difficult but it really is worth it.

If you do all of the above and he is still refusing all solids and vomiting if he does eat after day 3 id take him to the GP, just to rule out ant physical cause.

There is a book called My Chikd Won't Eat by Carlos Gonzalez. It was out of print when my dd was being fussy but is back in print now and is supposed to be very good.

Thanks for the advice

To minimise parental guilt we tended to offer one meal we knew he'd eat and one "new" meal per day. I agree, the least attention the better. Just all sit down together, eat yours and ignore him as much as possible. I wouldn't be feeding him at all at this age.

I agree it is worth seeing the GP too if simple behavioural things don't work.

Sorry just pressed the wrong button before I'd finished my message! I really appreciate the advice given by JiltedJohnsJulie. I now have a plan and like when he was a baby and the sleep issues was worrying me, I found I could cope when I have a plan to stick to. Knowing it'll take 3 days also helps. I have decided to keep a food diary so I can't track what has gone in and reassure myself that he is eating!

I'll let you now how I get on.

Ps. Vinegar drinker- you've been helpful too. I live in South Africa at the moment and so this forum makes me feel like I'm not on my own.

You're not on your own! Mn is always here

Agree with vinegar. We did something similar where we would make sure there was something on DDs plate she would eat along with the new food. So for example if he has toast for breakfast, try offering just a quarter of his usual amount and something new, such as a banana, fruit salad or cereal. Doing it meal be meal though is fine too.

Just out of interest, what sort of milk does he have and how much each day?

He drinks formula, mostly. He used to have about 150ml a day, but started at a crèche in September and refuses to eat their food, so as a result has doubled his milk intake during the week. At weekends and holidays he is back to 150ml a day though, if that.

Don't know about SAbut in the uk formula isn't recommended after one and between 12and 24 months its 300 ml of full fat cows milk per day. Once he's reached 2 you can move him onto semi skimmed if you prefer, and there is no minimum amount.

With that in mind, and presuming you have access to full fat cows milk, I'd swap him over. The formula can act as an appetite suppressant. Don't forget too that the 300 ml includes any milk used in food.

Know its tempting to give him the formula if he refuses food but if you want him to eat I really would advise ditching it. At the moment he knows that if he refuses he gets lots of attention, alternatives and sone milk to fill him up

i would swap milk back to regular cows milk

then like your dh mentions, just offer an option and no others. but i would start breakfast each day with something he likes (porridge and fruit maybe), so he has least eaten something. try for 3 days and see what happens.

then i would maybe take to gp/doctors as most children can tolerate lumps before the age of 2 (just in case)

Just wanted to give you an update from the first 24 hours. I have followed all your advice. My boy ate porridge (his favorite) but mixed in with a more coarser type available here in SA for toddlers, something he turned his nose up at before. Straight after he asked for a yoghurt so i didn't give him any milk. Then he snacked mid morning on some dried mango and rice cakes. He helped me make lunch and for the first time put some cheese he was grating in his mouth, chewed and swallowed. He are his usual toast, but avoided the 1/4 of it with scrambled egg and cheese on. After nap he had a bread roll and a yoghurt. But refused any dinner, what I made for myself (bolognese) and some par boiled carrots. The closest he got was putting the carrot in his mouth and taking it out again. He wanted toast and a yoghurt, but was told he needed to eat pasta first. About an hour after dinner I offered 150ml cows milk, of which he only drank 60ml. He has now gone to bed, we'll see how the night goes. My husband is away with work this week, so it might be hard, but I am taking one meal at a time and feel that a small step has been made with cheese and carrot today.

Thanks for all the support and advice. I am determined to make it work!,

Gish, think you've both done really, really well. Hope you have a good night (and don't offer any snacks or milk)

Great! That's half way

Well the end of Day 2 and I haven't done so well today. The morning went well, but it went downhill at supper time. We were at a friends who has 2 kids, 16 months and 4 years. They were having fish fingers and chips so a plate was given to my son. He screamed, pushed the plate away and wanted to get down from the table. I was embarrassed and took him aside, spoke to him and told him to stop crying and sit with the others. He did for a bit but didn't touch the food. Then I offered the pasta I had packed for him, which he also refused. He asked for toast and was told he could have it after his pasta. A while later the smaller one had a biscuit, my son was offered one too which he ate, then asked for more. Instead of another biscuit I gave rice cakes, which he ate, followed by dried mango. Just before bed, my son asked for toast, which I gave him.

I think I should not have offered anything after the first refusal, but so hard when the other kids are eating. I haven't given any formula though, he did have about 50 ml cows milk just before the biscuit went in. He hasn't had any mashed up food for 2days so perhaps there is some progress? We'll try harder tomorrow..

It is really, really hard to refuse to give your child food, especially when you are in company and may feel like all eyes are on you, but please don't offer any alternatives. He was playing the "food bingo game" which basically goes like this. I refuse what's on offer, I get lots of attention and something more scrum my, mummy also gets in a state. Bingo!

If he pushes a meal away just assume he's not hungry and ignore.

Don't beat yourself up though, you are both going in the right direction and tomorrow you can sty firm, I know you can

Just one more thing, what did he have for his afternoon snack and what time was it and what time was tea?

He had a yoghurt followed by 1/2 a bread roll at 4pm. Tea was offered at 5.30pm.

Think he isn't hungry enough at teatime. Could you move the snack forward or give him much less? Even half a bread roll is a huge snack for someone so tiny.

Did you manage to have a look at the Carlos Gonzalez book?

Yes I agree with the snack. Half a bread roll and a yogurt would be roughly what mine eat for lunch ( plus a bit of fruit)

Maybe just yogurt and no roll?

Thanks, will give yoghurt only at snack time and one option for dinner.

Watching this with interest as have a super-fussy 16mo.

He loves toast but often rejects sandwiches. He never eats meat, unless we're out in a cafe, whereupon he will eat everyone else's sausages, burgers, or beef fillet. He won't consider egg in scrambled, boiled or poached form, but quite likes the first half of a piece of eggy bread (the second half he throws). He hates textured food, but has been known to work his way through bowls of scampi and calamari. He despises all vegetables, but demolished carrots and parsnips at Christmas because they were cooked in maple syrup. He is deeply weird about pasta. He is quite hard work! He will also gorge himself on something, then freak out - presumably because his mouth is too full for him to move it around, bite his tongue, or gag, and sometimes vomit. Small small pieces of things seem to help. The calamari rings baffle me to this day though.

Dsiso how are things today?

TLW the calamari is funny. Why do you think he's behaving differently at home?

so far so good today. When he's refused food or says bye bye to it, I just tell him there's nothing else until the next meal/snack time. Determined to make it work...

TLW, it was reassuring to hear about your experiences. I have tRied to get hold of Carlos Gonzalez's book, but will have to order it via the UK as not available in SA. I have searched in line and found a YouTube interview and realize that it's really my problem. Looking at his food intake over the past few days he really has eaten quite a lot, especially carbs.