Fussy 8 month old - any advice?

[Echocave]

Can anyone help me with ideas please? Nearly everything I offer dd Is greeted with cats bum face and flared nostrils as if it's the most disgusting thing she's ever smelt or seen.

Full disclosure - I struggled to breastfeed her up to 5 months and we had a massive battle of wills which unfortunately tipped me into PND. So feeding is a bit of a problem. I actually thought weaning would make feeding easier. Ha ha.

Dd was weaned at 6 months and seemed to do ok with the purees etc. She even liked a few things. Now trying to get her to try more flavours (textures don't seem to be as much of a problem) but she seems to be so fussy. Am trying some Annabel karmel recipes but she seems to hate them - everything met with cats bum face. I have eczema so have been advised not to overdo dairy but am trying to cook with a bit of cheese to tempt dd.

I've offered little finger foods too - steamed carrot, toast, cucumber etc but they are the only things in the entire world that she won't put in her mouth.

Tonight I got so bloody stressed and frustrated after preparing a fish/orange juice/sweet potato thing that I had to leave the room before I got angry. Is it often this hard?

purees with bread/breadsticks/veg etc to dip in them?

risotto?

I could have written this. My DTs are 7.5 months and DTS eats anything and everything, but DTD will only reliably eat porridge with fruit, or yoghurt. She has eaten lots of other things but then when I try her with them again a few days later she refuses them eg scrambled egg, mashed potato with cheese and butter, vegetables in cheese sauce, houmous, sardines, tuna - she liked all these but not any more. It's so frustrating.

I have been told though that food is for fun until one - as long as she is getting enough milk then it doesn't really matter.

But interested in what everyone else has to say as I don't know the answer!

I would just go with the finger food and let her choose herself. Put a range of things on her highchair tray and don't worry about it. Milk is their main source of food until a year
(speaking from bitter experience of fussy DS1 who is now practically food phobic at 10 and BLW DS3 who eats anything)

Hi there! Babies are just weird aren't they !! I've got exactly the same thing. DS is 8.5 months and has suddenly become quite fussy after being a brilliant little eater. I've done lots of experimenting and think this is because he wants a little more control. He's great with finger foods and will happily eat purée off a breadstick or off toast but seems to have gone off the spoon entirely. I suppose if I think about it I wouldn't really want to be spoon fed either!! Since letting him feed himself for a few meals (at least one a day) he seems to be happier to let me spoon feed the others. Perhaps your DD just wants to get more involved with the food she's eating? Might be worth a go? HTH

PS we had a real struggle with breastfeeding too. DS had a tongue tie that wasn't diagnosed until 10 weeks so I've always struggled with supply and DS was very underweight for a long time. I totally understand your instinct to 'feed'. I'm trying to just trust DS to eat what he needs and assume that if he doesn't eat he's not hungry but it's hard when you've spent months trying to BF every 2 hours just to maintain their weight. The more I stress the less he eats though so try not to make it a battle (easier said than done I know)! Good luck

Hodgie, I hear you. Food is a battleground already and it's making me very unhappy really. Thank you for the tips everyone, I will try them.

Have you heard about baby led weaning? You don't have to do the total self weaning thing. But I think there are a lot of the advice that would benefit you there.

First, the more effort you make into making food for babies/toddlers, the less they are likely to eat them. If you don't make things for them, then it's much easier to relax. Because relax is what you need. You must feel ok if she refuses, gives you cat's bum face, throws them on the floor. With BLW, the baby eats whatever you eat. If you don't want to let her self feed, then use a hand blender to whizz her portion to a mush. (Or a fork if it's something soft to begin with).

Second, it's normal for them to be fussy. They are sceptical about what you offer them. Think from her perspective. You might as well be offering her insects and snails! She doesn't know what any of those things you put into her mouth is.

Third, no baby ever starve themselves. You have to trust they'll eat enough if they are hungry. Your job is simply to offer healthy food, so what she gets to choose is only food you approve. (ie not a selection of chocolate cakes and crisps).

Have a look at www.babyledweaning.com and also My Child won't eat if you think reading something will help.

I mean self feeding, not self weaning in my first paragraph!

Another reason it's easier to handle refusal with BLW is that you are supposed to be eating at the same time as them. So you would be too busy chatting to notice. We don't do dinner together as DD eats early. I'll make myself a tea and some toasts, and just read a magazine.

Still very little success I'm afraid. I'm trying these suggestions but it's so hit and miss that when she does actually eat anything it feels like a miracle.
I'm sure I'm probably not trying enough variety but she's so fussy it's making me wonder if there's something wrong with her. I know she's teething and might have a bit of a cold this week but I'm sick of trying to work out what this week's 'reason' for not eating is. I can't feed her when we eat because she's fed so much earlier although I do leave bits of food on the tray and do other stuff round the kitchen so as not to pressurize DD.
But my God I'm finding this hard.

Are you me OP? I can relate to you in every way you have described!! We started off with purée and DD just did not want to be spoonfed. So we are doing BLW. as of Saturday DD has not eaten a thing. She is teething and has a cold too. Bf is becoming a battle too. After 8 bloody months I honestly feel like I'm going mad. Some days I'm literally climbing the Walls. I truly am at my wits end with it all.

Gina - I sympathise! The only reason I know I'm not you is that bf was a major struggle from the start with my dd. Eventually gave up and life improved food wise at 5 months - until weaning started!
I do think teeth/colds have a fairly big effect and dd has 5 teeth so there are some big things going on in there!

I also think I'm letting it get to me too much. I don't really do laid back with dd - poor girl- and I think she feels under pressure. I do hate to think of food as a battleground. I love food!!

Perhaps we should try some chanting to keep us calm at meal times?!

We had a rocky start to bf and it's still not perfect. I wish I could give up but I can't as DD is allergic to cows milk and she refuses a bottle and the prescription formula. I am losing my mind. She still isn't eating and is so defensive when I put food anywhere near her. Stupid teeth.

Just checking in as I am also getting more and more frustrated with my 8 month old. I just posted asking what peoples schedules were thinking my timing is off...

But maybe its just a fussy age and they get over it. I am not even sure you can always blame teeth. My baby has none, no signs of any and is just as fussy and refusing foods all the time.

She is also up more at night wanting milk! Which I can't help but think she is not taking enough during the day. Its soooo hard to relax. Baby is totally refusing the spoon most of the time, which is fine...except that I can't stand 75% of the food chucked on the floor or smashed and smeared on table, outfit and me.

Just praying it gets better...

It is really tough but I've come to the conclusion that I am making everything worse by getting too tense. Dd may not love what we give her but her low key, calm Dad tends to be able to get a few more spoonfuls in.

I also think that Im probably expecting dd to Hoover up rather large portions, eg most Annabel Karmel recipes for say 4 portions will last dd about 6 meals. I wish dd's routine allowed us to eat with her but I don't fancy having lunch at 11am and dinner at 5.45!

DS3 is 8 months and does this too - but it doesn't stress me as all I give him is pureed left-overs of what we have had. So it hasn't been specially made for him, it's all good stuff don't get me wrong, but if he refuses I can bin it with a happy heart knowing it was destined for the bin anyway.

I also give him lots of things on his tray like fingers of toast with humus, tuna pate, soft cheese, marmite etc on and strawberries, blueberries, banana, raspberries etc. Again this haven't been specially made other than the toast so if he refuses I finish off the fruit myself!

He is also teething and has a cold with it and it did affect his eating a few days ago, but I left him to it and he has now resumed eating. I do cheat a bit I'm afriad if he is refusing altogether and we have a toy that he plays with whilst I shovel spoonfuls of healthy puree in, once he gets going he eats a lot quite happily. I am worried about nightime wakings out of hunger if he doesn't eat at all.

Hi, I posted above about 10 days ago about my 7.5 mo DD. Well this week we have turned a corner! We have been on holiday with DH as well and she is eating anything and everything, after about 2 weeks where she refused all food except porridge. I have been feeding her little bits of proper food with my fingers (eg bits of flaked fish, tuna sandwiches, marmite on toast, bits of vegetables, chips!, fruit) as well as spoon feeding her porridge, yogurt and the odd mush meal. So I don't know if its the lack of stress, or that she was a bit unwell/teething, or that she prefers proper food, but something has suddenly clicked. I hope it is short lived with your DCs too.

My almost 10 month old ds spent weeks hardly eating anything, or just eating the same old thing, around the 8 month mark. I thought I was going insane. Then he just started eating again. Now sometimes he eats, sometimes he doesn't, he has some stuff he always eats, other things he will eat one day and reject the next - some days he eats so much I'm surprised he doesn't explode, and some days I swear he has eaten almost nothing. For some reason having those weeks where he just seemed to hate food, and then coming out of the other side has really calmed me down over the whole thing. he's fine, he just didn't want to eat. Somebody mentioned above the book My Child Won't Eat - I bought it and read it in a day, and genuinely feel my views have been forever changed. Now I just let ds get on with it, if he wants something he eats it, if he doesn't, thats fine. I think its really important that people remember babies don't work linearly! We had such a successful start to blw and I just expected him to carry eating more and more, but thats just not what they do

Echo is it possible to move DD's meals to a more family friendly time (eg lunch somewhere between 12 and 1.30pm and then have a snack when she has her tea at 5.45pm? It might be that she 'gets' food more if she sees you eating at the same time.

OneLittleBabyTerror has given some good advice re BLW too :)

Well I'm a bit of a nap nazi (such a control freak, having a baby is doing for me!) so am very nervous about messing with the lunchtime feed. Also, I'm a bit confused about milk feeds as she generally needs a break between solids and the second part of the milk feed. Which makes me nervous about delaying the feed time.

But I have started putting bits of toast out and I have some too. With things like broccoli spears, I eat one with her. But I suppose it is a bit focussed on poor dd who's thinking, what the hell is THAT coming towards me on a spoon?

Thank you to everyone for their advice, I do like the look of the book on children who won't eat. However when i read some reviews on Amazon I thought it might be bad for me to read it as apparently the author stresses the importance of breastfeeding which I had a terrible time with for months. I'm worried it would just make me feel more anxious and crap than ever. But I know I've got to relax, I just don't know how!

My DS was exactly the same between 7.5 and 9 months. He was ok with breakfast and fruit but was taking only a few mouthfuls of anything else. I was in total despair watching my friends' babies happily putting away whole meals.

Then a few weeks ago it was like a switch tripped in his head - pretty much overnight he started eating full meals, such as a full Stage 3 Ella's pouch (we were away at the time), being much more confident about new foods and finally starting to reduce milk feeds. He's 10 months now and just put away a plate of fusilli with tomato, basil and cheese sauce, a few pieces if carrot and a yoghurt for his dinner. If you'd told me a month ago he'd be doing that, I would have laughed at you.

I seriously think he just wasn't ready yet. It probably helped that we made a conscious decision to relax about it, and being on holiday probably made it all a bit less tense as well. I'd avoid the battle of wills if you can - I was sceptical but now I really believe that they'll eat when they're ready to (and not before!)

urbandaisy, I can but hope! It is so worrying when you're going through this though. Added to which, no sleep last night and little interest in breakfast (although drinking milk) makes me wonder if she's still got a cold or having trouble with teething.
I have started to dread meal times with her, just like I used to dread breastfeeding.

Hi OP, you have my sincere sympathies, I too have a v fussy 8.5 month old dd & have come on here looking for advice & found I'm not alone! She started off really well with purées & then it seemed to all go downhill with her refusing nearly everything even porridge which I know she used to love! Some days she won't eat anything & I've been beside myself & just can't work out why! I decided too that my stress was making it worse so I'm trying really hard to chill out about it, trust that she will eat when she is ready, milk is enough for now etc etc but it is hard. Things I've found helpful are having lot more finger foods, lunch being entirely this with no purée to attempt to feed her and she does love holding things and having a go herself. I cant quite bring myself to Go totally baby led but maybe we will in the future. Also, I'm lucky too that dh can be around at most breakfast & tea times so we just chat about anything other than how much/little she is eating and it takes the focus away from food. I really don't want meals to be stressful or a battle ground & feared this was the way we were heading. Not sure if any of this helps yet as breakfast today was totally refused & I was nearly in tears again but we're trying!! Anyway sorry for long ramble post, hope it helps to know you're not only one struggling!

Have you tried loading the spoon and then letting her guide it in on her own? Admittedly, it gets everywhere but one of our LOs sometimes insists on doing it himself - other times he'll sit there like a little bird awaiting a worm! Good luck x

I have given dd the spoon before but she tends to just flick food around or just puts the empty spoon in her mouth sideways to chew on (teething and wants to chew everything - except food - at the moment. I do think your suggestion is right though as dd does seem to want to be in control: she grabs the bowl to see what's in it and wants to put her hands in to explore the food. I silence my inner neat freak now and just let her do that. But so far, she hasn't got the skill to load a spoon up herself and she won't ever let me hold her arm or hand to 'guide' the spoon in. But I will definitely keep trying!