My BLW 7mo is being spoonfed puree by IL's and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

[saoirse86]

My DD has been having food since just before 6 months. DP and I have been absolutely definite about certain things we want/don't want her to have and what order we want her to have things in.

We tried puree at first but she hated it so we just went with the BLW with veg only. She's still not been interested really but will have a suck on things.

Then this week my IL's have had her twice while I revise for exams and have given her puree. DP has actually been there and wasn't fussed about it, but he's not fussed about much TBH!

I didn't really have a problem with the puree as I have kind of thought it might kick start her eating more. But then yesterday I found out she was being spoonfed (where she normally mainly does it herself with some guidance) and had been shaking her head and pushing the spoon away but they kept giving it to her.

They kept telling me it was fine because she ate it, but I don't feel too happy about it. I want it to be a natural progression, although I do wish it'd be a bit quicker! I feel that if the's saying no to it then they should've stopped.

I wonder if force feeding her will give her a negative perception of food.

And I'm also confused what to do about what I give her. I know weight gain is supposed to slow down when babies are weaned and her weight gain really does need to slow down IMO, so I have been wishing she'd eat more. Now I'm wondering if I should give her puree to get her to eat something, or is that taking a step backwards?

I just don't know what to do for the best. I've found weaning a bit of a difficult process so far and it's only been about 7 weeks!! [cconfused]

Any help, experience or advice would be much appreciated. [csmile]

Don't want to sound rude, and please take this the in the spirit it is meant but, please grow up and gain some perspective. Sorry, but I can't believe you are wasting your energy on such a non event. You cannot control your child's life for ever, neither should you want to . Try to accept that the world is not a perfect place and people are not always going to agree with you.

Another thought, can they look after her at yours? Again so you can at least control portion sizes.

LadyintheRad - he has been in rude health ever since thanks. And thanks for the clarification. :) Up until that moment, I had been a bit worried that he was such a bifta (largely because my bloody mother kept going on about it) but he is now a very skinny child. And I worry about that too.

We are all given an invisible present of worry and anxiety when they hand us our babies!

It does indeed sound like weaning styles are the least of your issues. Your dh is probably used to his mum and sister getting their own way, and it may not even occur to him that anything could or should be different.

BTW "morbidly obese" does not necessarily equal "unable to feed a child healthily". I, myself, am obese (don't know which obese, but certainly severly and unhealthily overweight) but my dc are all lean, slender and healthy. My obesity is about what I eat, not about what I carefully feed my dc.

it just sounds to me like your mil and sil are putting two fingers up at you and deciding to do it their way regardless of what you have said you want. Plus your husband is being wet. I doubt that he didn't notice, he just doesn't want to stand up to them by the looks of things.

I also don't think you are being PFBish, this is your child after all and you do have some right to remain in control of how you wish to wean. I would personally be really pissed off if my mother or MIL decided they were going to use purees when I had spent time explaining how and why I was doing BLW.

reikizen what spirit was intended? Because it sounds pretty rude and unhelpful TBH. My DD is 7 months so I honestly think I should have control over her life ATM. It's not about agreeing with me, it's about the fact it's not their child and not their decision.

PC I certainly didn't mean anyone who is over or underweight can't make healthy decisions for their LO's, I just feel these people can't. I mean, coke and chocolate at 6 months, and giving my DD rice pudding at 4 months are surely not good decisions in anyone's book!

I actually think a lot of the problem with control over meals is that we don't essentially have meal times or portion sizes pretty much due to it being BLW and our meal times vary day to day. If I was doing purees then I suppose I would have more control. I can't avoid them having her sometimes because I have exams to revise for and university work to do so really need (and appreciate) the help. But I might actually consider giving them puree in the amounts I'm happy with her having.

It's really difficult because I don't want to start a huge argument and I could do without the stress of that. But we're all going on holiday in 2 weeks and I can't see myself lasting the holiday without dishing out some honesty! We're going to be in a caravan and DP and I have been told we'll be in a room with bunk beds and no room for a travel cot. (She's the only child going) They'll be having the nice big double rooms. Bastards Can't bloody wait for this holiday, I'm going to need another one the following week to get over it I think!

Weaning really is the least of your problems here. You're drip-feeding us the info a bit. Bbased on only the earlier info, and on how I was with unwelcome advice or help with my dc1, you really did come across as PFB (by dc3 I'd changed my tune to "at least he's eaten something, one less job for me".

How happy are you about your dd's sleeping arrangements in the caravan? Because if you are not happy (and I'm not talking about the bunkbeds), and there is more than one double (for the oldies), then I think it's time for you to put your foot down and insist on a bedroom that will allow your dd to sleep with you.

The time spent together with your ILs at the caravan will be a perfect opportunity to train them up in how your dd is to be fed. You may need to compromise a little, eg allowing a gingernut, but standing firm on chocolate.

BLW doesn't mean you can't have control over when your dd eats - it's not demand feeding. At mealtimes or snacktimes you offer her food. You don't just give her a bit to eat every time she grizzles. After all, part of BLW is that the baby participates in family mealtimes.

You might have to dilute the principles of BLW in order to get your ILs to behave reasonably. They sound like the sort of people who would give her some of their Chinese takeaway and say "but Saoirse said we should!". Instead let her have her own menu of foods they would recognise as suitable for a baby, and which you can accept her having, but offered to her BLW-style.

I've holidayed with my ILs - who also have entirely different way to us - for one week at a time in a comfortable cottage. OMG that's enough for me. I could not survive a fortnight in a caravan with them. Nothing could make that worthwhile!

I don't think you should set portion sizes. The idea of BLW is that they know how much they want and when and it will be constant. Also they sound like if the child ate it all, then it wasn't enough and make more. If it's too much then you'll still have the force feeding issues. You're unlikely to get it exactly right.

The way round the force feeding issues IMO is to insist on BLW and finger foods/feeding herself.

The bragging about it makes me on your behalf. Also DH by not saying anything has effectively given it the green light, so he needs to put the message across as well. Why didn't he do the feeding?