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Original poster

Worried someone travelling to me has been in an accident

135 replies

Schoolchoicesucks · 07/12/2023 17:33

My elderly parents were driving to visit me today. They left home at 9 and it's a max 4 hour journey and they haven't arrived. Can't find any reports of serious accidents on highways agency website. Both of their phones seem to be switched off as going straight to automated can't take your call right now.
The journey's 120 miles so not sure where to start ringing around hospitals. Any ideas for who else I could call to find out of they might have been in an accident?

OP posts:
MoltenLasagne · 07/12/2023 21:05

My Grandma was a bit like this with phone usage. After a similar worry we agreed that if she sent a message she kept her phone on for the confirmation we received it. We said it was like saying "Roger" on a radio.

It meant every time we had to agree another check in time which was a pain but stopped my Mum having kittens every time my Grandma travelled.

BlazingJune · 07/12/2023 21:05

The journey's 120 miles

Manchester to London is around 210 miles. Google gives average time 2hrs 20mins

MrsMarzetti · 07/12/2023 21:07

Glad they are safe and sound

Original poster
Schoolchoicesucks · 07/12/2023 21:16

Thanks all. We've had conversations about whether the drive is too much for them (they're just 80) but they insist it isn't. They do share the driving and are in very good nick for their ages. Ds has given them some lessons on using their phone, checking messages have sent, not turning phones off.

The non-emergency police were very helpful and were able to run a check on their reg number amd confirm not reported to have been involved in an accident. We were very sorry for wasting their time.

Sorry for those who've not had such positive endings to similar circumstances.

OP posts:
LightSpeeds · 07/12/2023 21:24

Phew I'm glad they're Ok.

You could get them a phone car charger for Christmas - then no worries about running the phone battery down.

RainbowRuby · 07/12/2023 21:32

My parents often get lost when they came to me. It is so stressful. Got them both iPhones and shared location so I could track them. Only thing they would have to do is keep at least one phone on. It really really helped improve my mental health and anxiety.

ErrolTheDragon · 07/12/2023 21:38

Ds has given them some lessons on using their phone, checking messages have sent, not turning phones off.

Good!

VegeBurgers · 07/12/2023 21:38

Sounds like my parents.
Its good yours are ok.
Treat yourself to tea and a biscuit tonight! X

feellikeanalien · 07/12/2023 21:43

Glad they've arrived OP. My parents used to switch their phones off if they weren't using them. Mum would call me and then switch her phone off. I once cleared 40 voicemail messages off it for her. She was in her 80s at the time but it used to drive my sister and I mad.

Dragonbed · 07/12/2023 21:45

Ugh what a worry! Glad they got to you safely.

Stopsnowing · 07/12/2023 21:53

Glad it was ok

AdoraBell · 07/12/2023 22:04

Glad they arrived.

JudgeJ · 07/12/2023 22:05

Jadebanditchillipepper · 07/12/2023 20:56

I remember something happening years ago with my dh who got stuck for about six hours on his way home from a football match. It was in the very early days of mobile phones and we only really used them for work. Even though he had the phone with him, it didn't occur to him to phone me and let me know what had happened! Me and his Dad were frantic!

Just after returning from India after WW2 my father went to a football match, he bumped into an old friend and because the crowds were massive they decided to give it a miss and go into town for a few drinks, he got home about 7. My mother almost throttled him either in anger or relief, there had been an accident at the football ground, 33 were dead, she'd heard it in the radio and when he wasn't home by about half five she was frantic. He knew nothing about it which with our access to rolling news is astonishing but of course there were no tv's in pubs and the only radios were 'wired'!

BlazingJune · 07/12/2023 22:11

I think that at 80, they ought to reconsider motorway trips when it's over 200 miles.

My father stopped a similar drive to me, when he was 80 although he carried on driving locally till he was 90.

We're younger than your parents by almost 10 years but even now find 200+ miles taking 4-5 hours very tiring. They possibly don't realise how slow their reactions will be now and the effects of fatigue.

TeenagedTwit · 07/12/2023 22:12

Schoolchoicesucks · 07/12/2023 21:16

Thanks all. We've had conversations about whether the drive is too much for them (they're just 80) but they insist it isn't. They do share the driving and are in very good nick for their ages. Ds has given them some lessons on using their phone, checking messages have sent, not turning phones off.

The non-emergency police were very helpful and were able to run a check on their reg number amd confirm not reported to have been involved in an accident. We were very sorry for wasting their time.

Sorry for those who've not had such positive endings to similar circumstances.

No-one has wasted police time. You behaved responsibly and in a very civil manner. Your parents did their best, too. It's a happy ending which everyone wants.

Namechangeforthis88 · 07/12/2023 22:12

Frustrating with older generation and phones, my parents are similar. Phones are switched off and left in a drawer. Back 8n covid times they got a notification to isolate and get tested but they didn't pick it up till almost the end of the isolation period anyway.

Whereas my neighbour is older than them, 80 I think, and she is the right across her social media, knows which apps different people up and down the street prefer and messages accordingly about parcels, roadworks etc.

MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig · 07/12/2023 22:34

At least we won’t be like that. Me and just about everyone I know is bloody glued to a mobile phone.

Glad they’re ok.

UsingChangeofName · 07/12/2023 22:38

You haven't wasted police time at all. That was a sensible thing to do.

Ds has given them some lessons on using their phone, checking messages have sent, not turning phones off.

Would they be persuaded to have a daily WhatsApp (or text if they don't have smart phones / internet on their phones) with you and your sister, or with their grandchildren? To get them used to having their phones on them / charged / with the sounds / notifications turned on.

My MiL has a daily message with my dc. Usually nothing important, but it means she is using the phone each day and is used to having it on, and is used to sending messages, etc ?
Sometimes it is a photo of the cat. Sometimes it is "I'm just off to the supermarket now" . Sometimes she just asks if they are working that day, or if they have a game that weekend (they both play different sports). She's not particularly interested in the sports but does love her grandchildren, and it is just a quick message every day. Which, as I say, means she is used to using her phone.

Circularargument · 07/12/2023 23:04

ErrolTheDragon · 07/12/2023 21:38

Ds has given them some lessons on using their phone, checking messages have sent, not turning phones off.

Good!

Yeah, nothing like treating your elders like children..

OutOfSyncWithReality · 07/12/2023 23:17

Glad all is well OP. Something similar happened to me pre-mobile days and I was frantic with worry. I was sat at my window for a couple of hours waiting for them to turn up and was in tears when I saw the car finally pull up. They all burst into the house full of happiness at getting to their destination - they'd stopped for dinner enroute and were in no rush to leave as the motorway was busy and they were waiting for it to die down a bit!

ImNunTheWiser · 07/12/2023 23:24

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UsingChangeofName · 07/12/2023 23:25

Yeah, nothing like treating your elders like children..

How do you work out that helping someone master a skill they are struggling with is "treating your elders like children" ? Confused

If I want to acquire, (or polish up) a skill, I don't mind if the person teaching me is older, younger or the same age - it is about one person having a skill I want to learn. No need to turn someone helping someone else out into an age issue.

ImNunTheWiser · 07/12/2023 23:28

Happy for you OP, have a glass of wine annnnd relax xxx

whynotwhatknot · 07/12/2023 23:32

glad theyre ok

why do people insist on th turning their phone off-oh i want to save battery my fil says for what you dont bloody use it!

ocarinaflow · 07/12/2023 23:38

MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig · 07/12/2023 22:34

At least we won’t be like that. Me and just about everyone I know is bloody glued to a mobile phone.

Glad they’re ok.

But it'll be holograms or the metaverse or something, that the next generation will have to explain to us in smartphone terms. The previous generation used to be glued to their radios and pagers and whatnot.

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