Hello, teachers!
I'm not a teacher so I hope you don't mind outsiders butting in, but I do have a topic I'd like to raise with you.
I am a doctor working in NHS general practice. A recurring theme in general practice will be a mum or dad pitching up with their school-age child, and asking me to provide a 'toilet pass' for school. Sometimes they tell me that the school has specifically told them to go to their doctor to get a toilet pass.
My response to this is always the same: "I do not provide toilet passes. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"
If pushed, I will go on to explain that whilst I can assess any urinary symptoms (it's usually wee) and potentially provide a diagnosis, plus advice or treatment, I will not write a 'toilet pass'. I do give them the practice email address and ask them to pass it on to whichever teacher has (allegedly) asked for a toilet pass because I would, out of respect and professional courtesy, be willing to talk to them at a time that suits them. So far I have never received an email or call from a teacher.
So my question for you all is: Do you really tell kids/parents to go to the doctor to get a toilet pass?
I assume that kids who constantly disrupt lessons, by asking if they can go to the toilet frequently, are a pain in your ass. I also assume that you occasionally have some sincere concern that there may undiagnosed infections, or diabetes, or other problems which require the attention of a doctor - or maybe some other medical/psychological/safeguarding issue for which needing a pee is a less embarrassing thing to announce to the class when they want to get out of there. In these cases it's generally reasonable to signpost kids/parents to a doctor and that's why, once I've put my cards on the table re: the toilet pass, I'll always try my best to screen for these issues and discharge my professional duties.
BUT, I also assume that in many cases, you suspect this is just a kid's way of getting out of class when they are bored or wanting to go and smoke etc. And here is where I want to make it plain: once I've ruled out significant pathology, I actually can't tell any better than you can whether or not a child is genuinely desperate for a pee, or if they are just playing up. There is no validated medical way to know this.
In most of these cases, kids who go to the toilet more frequently than normal just have what we call 'functional' issues. It's a software issue, not a hardware one. I can advise parents / kids on how to train their bladder - or, more accurately, given that by this point I have about 3 minutes left, I can point them towards Eric.org.uk and give them some homework and invite them to come back to discuss it again. (they generally don't come back).
I also strongly suspect that the concept of a 'toilet pass' is something conjured up by parents who, as seems to be the trend these days, give in to their kid's whims and demands far too readily.
I'm glad I got that off my chest, and I'm very interested in hearing the teachers' side of this.
(Btw my wife is a teacher, so I know exactly how hard and shit your job can be. However my wife vehemently denies ever telling kids to get a toilet pass, so she is no use to me)