Consequences for relational aggression

[radiometer]

I work in a new-ish school which hasn't got its routines all worked out yet.

I've got a situation where a student has deliberately duped classmates into disclosing mean opinions about others, and then taken them to the target. She does a good sideline in cutting remarks and a lot of the class are scared of her, including her buddies. She's upset some of the people she's targeted to the point of school refusal and changing school.

This student is far from remorseful. I would say that she's certainly sorry to have been caught but she's got bucket loads of deflections and side-intrigues and spurious justifications. Every time I think she's understood, she comes up with a new one.

Her parents claim to be supportive but they just parrot the same deflections and justifications. They don't take it that seriously (but I believe they have confiscated her phone as a consequence.)

The head of year has the exact same MO as the child, so I can't really take it to her!

I've worked out a behaviour contract with the student but if I'd been targeted by her, I'd be pretty cheesed off if I found out that the consequence was "some awkward conversations with adults". I don't think it's an exclusion sort of thing. We'd have to reserve that for if she keeps doing it after all this, I think.

What else is there? We don't have detentions but I reckon we could ask her to sit in the head of year's office at breaks for a week or something.
Apologies would only be helpful if she were sorry and she's not really.

Any ideas???

Have you looked at ELSA support resources?
www.elsa-support.co.uk/category/free-resources/bullying/

Also have you heard of Thrive?

As to consequences, for many schools they would use detentions, and parents in to discuss. Things need to be made very clear; there is no justification for what she is doing. There are reasons why, which can be explored via counselling etc, but she is still choosing to do something wrong to intentionally hurt others and that is unacceptable, no excuses.

You could keep her in, doing boring stuff in the HOY of years room for a week, then when she goes back out she needs to know if it happens again, she will be back in for another week doing boring stuff.

She also may struggle with how to form positive friendships, so when she goes back out after her week in, she will need support to help her do that.

As I'm typing that I'm thinking of the kids we have used that approach for and almost all of them have ASD - could that be a consideration?

Oh thank you shawshank that's incredibly helpful.

There's no diagnosis and she strikes me as NT but maybe there's something. She really is struggling. Hopefully we can help her so it stops for good.

The behaviour the OP is describing is far too sophisticated for children with ASD IME. They just don't have the social understanding to be this manipulative, and are more likely to be the victim of this sort of behaviour because they are naive.

Is it possible you could link in the school behaviour policy so I could take a look? School governer hear at yet another experimental type school .

I guess they’re too Young to watch mean girls... and maybe a bit pointed...