Meeting an ex-pupil for lunch in a pub

[partialderivative]

He's a lovely bloke, far more responsible than I was at his age.

I have told him that we would buy him lunch, and I have agreed to meet him beforehand in a pub for a pint or two.

How much booze is reasonable to drink in these circumstances.

(I taught him last year in an International School in the Middle East.)

[KarlWrenbury]

if he drinks more than 4 he is an adult
You are meeting an adult in a pub
you dont need permission

[Theseus]

I think it's v nice that you are staying in touch with former pupils. And kind to offer career advice. I hope you enjoy the lunch. But I am baffled by your needing to ask how much booze is appropriate, especially as your whole family will be there!

[Viviennemary]

I don't think it's appropriate to meet an ex pupil an a pub for lunch at all.

[partialderivative]

FantasticButtoks (fantastic name) We will be flying back to the UK on Monday and arriving on the Tuesday.

He and I have planned this meeting for several months.

Why have I announced it in MN?
I wish I hadn't, I really really wish I hadn't.

[AntoinetteCosway]

I am wondering if I know you OP. You sound very like a ex colleague of mine from York who has been teaching abroad recently! (And I'm in York too, though sadly not planning to be anywhere near Jamie's Italian tomorrow!)

[QueenQueenie]

Perhaps you should fuck off somewhere else then? Just a thought...

[partialderivative]

Why not Viviennmary?

[AntoinetteCosway]

Oh no, it's Starbucks tomorrow anyway. Won't be there either. Drat

[KarlWrenbury]

WHY NOT?
I see ex pupils all the time and even one of my ex teachers

fgs weirdos

[ShatnersBassoon]

What's the quandary? You're worried you won't be able to keep up with his drinking? Or that you'll drink more than him and be seen as a big boozer?

[FantasticButtocks]

FantasticButtoks (fantastic name) We will be flying back to the UK on Monday and arriving on the Tuesday. Eh?

I didn't ask you about your travel arrangements. And the questions I did ask have gone unanswered. I am even more

[QueenQueenie]

Perhaps he's been drinking?

[partialderivative]

Hmm I have had a thought, but then decided to stay here Queenie on the thread that I started, I hope that doesn't upset you

[startwig1982]

I don't meet with ex pupils or add them as friends on any social media site. The main reason being, apart from making me feel uncomfortable, is that most of them are still friends with lots of kids that I teach. I honestly think it's inappropriate unless their well out of teenage years. And by that I mean late 20s going into 30s.
There are pupils who I would love to keep in contact with as they are fantastic people, but I wouldn't let myself. Sorry if I sound a prude.

[startwig1982]

*They're

[Pollaidh]

We used to go and drink with our staff. This was as VIth formers, on trips, tours, DoE, outdoor pursuits trips, following school shows etc. Even went clubbing on one memorable VIth form trip. Once in VIth form the relationships was quite casual and friendly, with us calling the younger staff by first names on trips. There was no disrespect as a result, never heard of any dodgy behaviour, and still in touch with some years later. It was a good school.

In the 1:1 male:female situation I'd be more careful in case she's got a teenage crush. Maybe 1 pint.

[ChocolateWombat]

Yes, Facebook and the like raise a whole lot of other questions.
I think it's right to be careful about who our 'friends' are. We might post things we don't want getting back to current pupils or parents and likewise, we can be exposed to information about pupils or parents which put us in a compromising position

[Trainersandaches]

And you're a teacher you say? Yes, I am and have nearly 30 year's experience.

With errant apostrophes like that I hope you're not an English teacher OP.

[partialderivative]

FantasticButtocks, I am a rather alarmed at the hostility of the responses I have received.

And I, stupidly, have retaliated in a similar way.

Which I regret and apologise for.

[partialderivative]

Trainersandaches Actually I teach maths, do you want to test me on my calculus?

[startwig1982]

Surely that was obvious from your username? (I teach maths too)

[WhereTheWildlingsAre]

It's a sad, sad day when teachers cannot consider meeing up for a drink with ex students.

It's shocking the assumptions people have jumped to.

[WhereTheWildlingsAre]

*meeting

[wooldonor]

Wow, this has moved on since I posted yesterday.

I'm still not entirely sure why you're asking about the drinking, is there a faux pas you are trying to avoid.

A man of your age and experience surely must have been in lunchtime situations as which alcohol was served, how is it that you don't know your limits?

[AnyFucker]

Respondents haven't "assumed" anything. Any questions about the issue were raised by the OP, because if he was very comfortable about this course of action he wouldn't be here, engaging (unsuccessfully) with a bunch of strangers who don't even know him or the ex pupil concerned

OP, if there is no cause for consternation...why are you here ? I am not accusing you of anything and my dirty mind is not working overtime...but seriously, why did you post here ?