Cats dying of old age - what to expect

[Dolphinnoises]

Hi all,

Our lovely cat is 16 and has visibly aged in the last few weeks. I am thinking more and more about how to help the DC through the inevitable.

Assuming he’s not PTS, can I ask (and sorry it’s such a depressing topic!) how other people’s cats died, how you dealt with the practicalities (we rent so wouldn’t bury him), did the kids go to school that day (my head says yes of course, people don’t miss school because a cat has died, but for my youngest especially I cannot imagine her being in a fit state to learn, she and the cat have such a bond)

Thank you in advance x

I am also interested to learn about this, as am in a similar situation. Thank you for posting.

Our cat was 15 and he became older and slower in the last year. He was such a lovely boy, but In the end he died from a blood clot. I don’t think you can predict what will happen, but just be prepared that He will not live forever.

I'm in the same situation, my old girl is 17 now and apart from a touch of arthritis still seems to be going strong but I know that it's likely her health will deteriorate in the next couple of years and we will be facing that inevitable decision if she doesn't pass away suddenly from something like heart failure. I've had to have a cat PTS before and it was awful but it was the right decision and to be honest should probably have been done sooner, part of me hopes current Dcat passes away peacefully in her sleep although I know that's not usually the case. I have decided that when her time comes I'll have her cremated, as we buried previous cat in the garden and planted a nice tree there but then had to leave her behind when we moved house.

Please take your cat to a vet for a health check, just in case there's something needed to keep your cat comfortable. Aging is inevitable, but suffering is not.

Disposal of the body - I've always taken my pets back to the vet who liaise with a pet crematorium. Unless you request otherwise your cat will be cremated communally (you can ask for an individual cremation but it is expensive). You can have ashes back if you want.

Day off - depends on how upset you are surely, and not something that you need to decide now. See how it goes when the time comes. For what it's worth, I've taken time off work when my pets have died.

My two were sisters. One was PTS at 17 yrs old and the other PTS at 18 yrs old. There was quite some months of 'is it the end' but when the end came it was very obvious. Generally got skinny, but wobbly on legs and the very end back legs gave way and we kept her comfortable until the vet appointment to PTS. Out vet said he'd rather PTS a month early than a week mate but I very much felt we had her for the full time that she was not uncomfortable. It was a long drawn out process as the vets can test and treat so much...but at the old age they both were, it really got to the point of what's the point in testing / treating for the next thing on the list

My children at the time were 12 & 9. Very very upset for an hour. Very sad for a couple of days. Then moved on. We have photos of both cats in the house. They have photos of the cats on their phones. Death is part of life and I felt the cats passing was a good practice for the inevitable grandparents etc in due course

Big hugs. It is sad. You give your pets a wonderful life is just sadly much shorter than ours.

I've had several cats over the years and all of them have been PTS at the point when their quality of life has clearly deteriorated. I think PTS is the most likely (and kindest) outcome for domestic pets who live to old age.

My last cat was PTS. The vet said this is the way most cats go. When they are old and frail and don't groom themselves anymore, it's kinder to let them go. My other cat is 17 now and still has a nice life.

In my experience you have your cat PTS when it's time. Only one cat I've had has died a 'natural' death. He went out for a walk and didn't come back. We found him curled up as if asleep in a neighbour's garden.
When our children were little we explained in an age appropriate way that the cat was very poorly and had died. I made a scrap book with my youngest when he was about 4 or 5 when one of ours was pts.
I wouldn't have expected a day off school for my children under these circumstances though. Unless an absolute emergency you can time getting your cat pts within a few days. PTS on a Friday gives you a weekend to talk things through with your children which may help.

I didn't let my cat die of natural old age they were 18 sick and we arranged for her to be pts . eldest dc was in college so went others in school so went they wanted to. I think its fine to be off school if they are sad though. on a practical level you can have the cat cremated through your vet practice.

My elderly cat had to be pts in the end when he was 18 and dc was 3.

We explained that he was going to die, what the process was at the vets. Asked if they wanted to be with him to stroke and comfort him during the process. (they did)

It was all rather sad but lovely and dc coped perfectly.

For small children everything is new and they take their lead from you. So talk, don't be afraid to cry. Have some sort of burial /ashes scattering ceremony.

Death is all part of life and by involving them it becomes less frightening and helps them to cope with deaths of GP etc when the time comes.

I'm so sorry that your beautiful cat is coming to the end. It's so sad and heartbreaking for everyone who loves them ❤️

One of mine had a sudden heart attack(?) at home. He was pretty old but in good condition so it was quite a shock. The other one was even older and we'd spent a lot of time at the vets in the last year of her life. I knew her so well that it was pretty obvious to me when the end was nigh, and she was put to sleep.

Don't just assume YOUR cat is on its way out though; mine lost a lot of weight and condition at 15, took her to the vet and one thyroid pill a day for the rest of her life restored her condition and kept her going for another 6 years.

All of our cats have been PTS when their quality of life has deteriorated. We have always explained to the children beforehand, and given them the option to be with them at the vets, or stay at home. Because it has been planned appointments, they haven’t had time of school but they may if one died unexpectedly.

Two cats and a dog have been PTS over the past few years and the kids have framed photos of them all in their rooms and we talk about them a lot.

Our old girl was 19 , she had slowed down for years of course but kept being happy. Had a couple of occasions in last couple of years when we had vet visits for couple of things but she perked up.
Once they get close to the end you know , and we knew when was right to have her pts as her back legs went. Up to then there were a few times she was asleep out in the sun and I thought she might just go then.
Keep talking to the kids about the fact the cat is old, let them absorb that, if someone else's pet dies then talk about how that will happen one day. I would say mine were upset of course but they expected it and none of us missed work or school. It's very sad but no need to be dramatic.
We paid for cats ashes back but I wouldn't do that again.

I honestly don't think many elderly cats die of natural causes. I think that most are PTS.
When they're starting to fail you'll realise that it'll be kinder to let them go peacefully. Not to let them deteriorate gradually and painfully over months.

We had our 17yo PTS the same day his kidney failure made his life unenjoyable (I was in charge of the decision and I said things like if he stopped purring when stroked, started hiding, stopped his daily patrol, didn’t want to eat, had a significant routine - one day he refused food and wouldn’t purr, it literally happened overnight, and that was his last day). I agree with PPs that your DCat should see the vet about any health issues he may already have going on, which will also have the advantage of them being aware you might need them to PTS.

Re your children, although pet bereavements can be as significant as human ones I would say they should go to school as normal, but have some chats with them now to prepare them. Maybe ask them if they want to see the body of the cat, if they want to have a little funeral etc. If they know the cat is going to leave them for a better or at least more peaceful place and that he’s probably old and tired and maybe hurting, it’ll be easier to accept than a sudden loss. From personal experience, I went to work one day and then found out my mother had had my horse shot (I knew PTS was on the cards but I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye). I had no closure and still feel guilty to this day. The cat was a different matter - we buried him and had a little funeral and I was in charge of his body and wrapped him in one of my scarves etc - it’s REALLY unpleasant dealing with a dead body but I got over his death and grieving it so much quicker. We’ve had other cats who have died and I’ve seen and touched their dead bodies and it’s actually helped.

As PPs have said above, if you do need to PTS, too early is better than too late. The procedure is not traumatic at all, the worst bit is getting a tiny needle in their vein but you’ll be given a chance to say goodbye, the vet will be compassionate, and it’s seconds from when the drug goes in to them peacefully going to sleep. Horribly sad to lose a friend but it’s a good way to go, frankly.

Final note: nobody, either human or animal, actually dies of old age alone - it’s always a heart, brain or [insert other organ] condition which become more common and severe as we age. Things like kidney disease, which is particularly common in older cats, do start causing discomfort. For that reason I really would agree that a checkup is in order in case they need a change of food, painkillers, other treatment.

I think a lot depends on the age of your kids and when it happens etc.

My cats behaviour changed.
Usually he’d run down and meet us after school/work and then sit on our laps during the evenings and then come upstairs to bed with us.
But he’d end up just staying upstairs and sleeping even more.

I would talk about how he’s very old and he may die in his sleep any day or if he looks like he’s in pain then I’ll need to take him to the vets because it’s the kindest thing to do.

I tried to make death a part of life and not be a scary thing.
I would say how lucky he is to have lived to such an age and what a lovely life he’s had at our home.

My DD is older and my cat all of a sudden stopped eating and acting really odd (perhaps in pain or having a stroke) and it was actually her that said maybe he needs to be put down.
She chose not to come, which tbh was good for me as I could cry my eyes out.

The PTS process was really calm and peaceful.
I paid for him to be cremated and we got a paw print and beautiful wicker box and we’ll decide what to do with it in the future.
It’s not cheap though!

I actually think she handled it better than I did.
It was during the holidays but if it was during school then I definitely would have let her have a day off.
The only trouble is, is that it may not hit them until a later date.
I would probably let the school know if they are very upset.

My advice would be to talk openly about it, spoil your cat as much as possible so they don’t have any feelings or guilt and keep talking about how lucky the cat is and how much they know they’re loved.

I've had one that wasn't put to sleep.
She was 18 and had slowed down a bit but was otherwise fine. She went out one day as she always did. I went out a couple of hours later and saw her in our neighbour's driveway curled up in the sun as she often was. But I knew she had died.
I'm glad she went in her sleep, curled up in the warm sunshine.
Can't advise about kids as mine were older at the time.

Ive ways had my pets pts when they became wobbly or unwell.
Seems like the kindest thing to do though I'm with them when they go and cry my eyes out for days.😭
My old was was pts in lockdown and I just got a ginger boy so hopefully not something I nèed to think about for many yrs.

My cat got older and older and did less and less. We fussed over her and worked very hard to keep her eating.

Eventually she started to have more and more problems including intractable diarrhoea. Looking back, I think I should have PTS at this point but vet didn't mention it and she seemed happy.

Then she got sepsis and vet made out it was reversible so she was treated for 24 hours - after which it was obvious it wasn't. PTS was fine. Again, doing it again I would challenge the vet harder on whether it was really reversible.

My DM always made me go to school when a cat died. Not sure I learned anything on those days but the routine and being around friends was good.

Have a plan, I decided what I wanted to happen before it came to it. (Chronic illness, not old age) and it really helped on the day. I didn't need to think about it. Because I was too upset. The car was lovely and it was very peaceful and dignified.
. I don't think children should be kept off school though. I went to work 4 hours after my cat was PTS. And I was very upset but my colleagues were lovely and it helps to have a destraction.

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. Lots to think about. I will take him to the vet, DH and I were saying he should get a once-over. The only thing that puts me off is the country I live in is very test-heavy - they’ll charge you £400 for blood tests as soon as look at you. I’ll have to be firm and check there’s a proper point to them

I’m not a qualified vet, but in the circumstances you describe, please ask for a physical exam only first, then if there are indications of further problems, a blood test restricted to only those issues. If you need to stress your price ceiling, fine. I do think it would be advisable with your cat to have the maximum amount of vet contact you can reasonably afford though.

Our last cat had lymphona and she was on chemo tablets but just gradually went downhill. I wish we had made the decision sooner as it was so hard. We were not sure when the right time was and probably left it a day too long.

We also have a pet crematorium near us so once it had happened we called them and they came and collected her and she then came home again in a box that is now on our mantlepiece.

It's an awful hard time.

In terms of the Dcs- they were 13 and 11. We were honest about things. They were with her when we had the final vet visit and went to school the next day. I think it helped that we kept them very informed the whole way.

Our 15 yr old cat died a few years ago - he just went downhill over the course of one Sunday, and then overnight had tucked himself into a corner by the fireplace. We sat with him that morning as he slipped away, and then I took the kids (then aged about 7 and 11 I think) to school a bit late (having called the school to explain).