Experienced dog owner, currently dogless, which breed?

[Springingforward]

Hi, I'm hoping the doghouse hive mind can help me narrow down my options with your real life experiences.
My quandary is that I've owned dogs all my adult life, but have been completely dog free for the last three years. I lost all three of my elderly best friends over the course of 9 months 😭 I miss them all so very much (I needed counselling) and I've got to the point where I'm dog sitting, talking to other people's dogs out and about and just really miss the companionship and company. I'm going to Crufts in March 👍🏻

Difficulty is, I can't settle on a breed that is right for me and where I am in my life currently. Any suggestions welcome.

My situation:
I live on my own, semi rural, lots of nice walks.
Love dog training and things like clicker work. (I've puppy walked four guide dog pups in the past).
Work from home permanently and self employed so can set my own hours.
If I need to go out then doggo can come with me or only be on their own a couple of hours.
Visiting baby grandchildren.
Smallish house, secure fenced garden.

My absolute needs:
From a pup, a rescue may have issues that I can't predict with around young children.
Smallish, cocker spaniel sized or smaller
Not known for being difficult to housetrain (ie. Italian greyhounds) because of info below.
Loves attention
Don't mind grooming
Not super high energy, I'm mid 50s and love walking, but might have a pram/pushchair sometimes and got to think about managing exuberance.

Breeds I've owned and wouldn't again
Cavaliers (had 3) too many health issues now, not one of mine got to 10yrs despite being from 'good breeders'.
Labrador, there will never be another one that will match my 'heart dog's 😭
Whippets or whippet X too unpredictable around other dogs, only dog I've ever been bitten by.
Dachshund - three times ivdd surgery and broke my heart. She never became fully house-trained even before IVDD got her and I was always worried about hygiene.
Not a terrier, I'm just not a terrier person, they can be a bit 'sharp' and have low flashpoints imo, even Borders.
I struggle with flat faced breeds, they just aren't for me.

Can you see why I'm struggling 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️😂 my ideal dog would be something small, short haired with the personality, temperament and willingness of a Labrador. Not sure that exists.

If I’ve made her sound like a dream, I’ve been very misleading 😂 Her parents were farm dogs but from pet lines, so her drive is low compared to some I’ve seen.
She’s clingy to death. Scratches at the door when you’re pooping, kind of clingy but she does give lovely cuddles and she’s a great pub dog. They’re too bright for their own good. I house trained her using a bell at the back door. She took to it instantly but then I became a glorified dog butler because she was ringing constantly, to play outside 😂
Ive had dobermans, boxers, malamutes and mutts and this one isn’t for the faint hearted!

There used to be one of those in our park regularly- lovey dogs and a great size

Sheltie?
Whippet?
Or one of the less mad spaniels (Sussex?)

Golden retriever from working line. Very gentle with children and other dogs. Smaller than show golden retrievers, love nice walks and being at home. Easy to train and very loving.

i have a Toller. He loves a big long walk and a swim but is equally happy to just have a couple of shorter walks since days and will then just sleep in the house. Loves scent work and a bit of a food thief given the chance.

A show Cocker would be ideal. Loyal, loving,clever little Velcro dogs. Our little girl is 5. It took five years from losing our previous Cocker to feel able to get her and honestly she is just fantastic. Whistle trained, a dream to house train and loves exploring new places. A walk would feel pointless without her. Can recommend a good breeder in Cambridgeshire. As a family we’ve had three dogs from them (my daughter and boyfriend have a 1 year old)

I foster guide dogs in training (21 so far) and adopted a qualified but early retired guide dog that we fostered earlier. I would absolutely say do Labrador again. I know you say it won’t match your heart dog but it doesn’t need to. It will be wonderful in its own way and you know exactly how to train them and what to expect. It meets all of your requirements except it reminding you of your previous dog. It’s nice to be reminded though and isn’t something to shy away from. I’m in agreement with you about Cavaliers, I’ve had two and lost one at 9 and one at 11 and it’s too heartbreaking with their health problems. If not a lab (do it) then a cockerpoo might fit.

Honestly, I'd stick with a lab. I've had them all my life, along with other breeds and when my last two went I was devastated and said no more dogs. This lasted a couple of months until I adopted a rescue Lurcher, who I love dearly, but I found myself missing the affable, goofy lab character and got a working bitch pup.
She is tiny compared to my last two, who were big show x working boys. She has been so easy, recalled off lead from the off and makes me laugh every day. If you're a lab person then a lab is what you need.

I’m also a very experienced dog person, and I recommend my breed of Tibetan Spaniel. They’re not at all like the Tibetan Terrier, they’re very similar to a cavalier but with a fluffier tail and no health issues!! I’ll be showing mine at Crufts on the Saturday ❤️

My suggestion is to go to Discover Dogs, meet ALLLLLL the breeds (there’s a representative of every breed) get to chat to some owners and cuddle the dogs, see what you like. Then research as much as you can before buying one.

Oh dear I was going to recommend a Labrador, absolute best family dog.

Nova Scotia? Like a mini Labrador 😃

You want a lab. There's no rule that you can only have one heart dog. Sometimes you get incredibly lucky and find that your heart can match with another.

I can agree Shelties are great and seem to fit what you are looking But to add the downsides in addition to this post you need to be prepared for the brushing, and for the barking. They are addictive though. People seem to end up the “variety pack” (Tri, Sable and Blue)

Shiba inu, they are awesome. We have 2. Play with each other but mainly sleep.
They are so safe considered a nanny dog in Japan. Cute but need grooming.
Dont bark! But v stubborn not off lead dogs. Medium build. And love a cuddle.

I am a confirmed Westie lover! Amazing dogs but if you are dead set against a terrier I would recommend a miniature schnauzer

Mini (or giant) schnauzer - our mini really only barks when someone comes to the door and with training she will stop barking with a hand or short vocal signal (or when you open the door and she can greet the postman etc!). Ours was never brought up with small children but she is very good and tolerant of little ones wanting to say hello and pet her. Hardy, loving and characterful dogs! Also really benefit from (and enjoy) training. Our friend also has one who hardly ever barks (!) and also tolerant of small children despite not having them at home.

Shelties and Tollers sound like they might fit the bill too. And I know you said no terriers but maybe a Welshie? Or Tibetan as previously suggested.

Poodle. I have two miniature ones and they are fabulous. Intelligent, easy to train. Good family dogs, happy. Walk well on the lead. Cast iron recall. Affectionate and loving. Playful. Pretty. Can clip the hair short yourself - just buy some clippers - so grooming doesn’t have to be an issue.

@Springingforward speak to Charlie at Mordor Gundogs. He will have something for you. Either a pup, or a part trained pup. He is really good.

Hmmm, my cocker. She's very calm, particularly compared to my "busy" westie. She's been a good calming influence for him. I'm more a terrier person.

Clumber spaniel? But I’d just get a small female golden retriever in your shoes.

A friend has had tollers for years. They are happy with a walk and a bit of fetch. Nice dogs. Can be fetch-aholics.

Oh lovely suggestions ❤️.
But if not OP, maybe touch bigger than a Cocker, but what about a Eurasier?

Bernese Mountain Dog. Can be stubborn so dog experience is a plus, but the most gentle loving dogs, brilliant with kids, not exuberant (except for a while when they’re teenagers). Ours have never chewed, or destroyed or dug up the garden. They’re are very large but that just means there’s more to hug 🥰. Only downside is they don’t have a long life span.

Definitely a mini schnauzer! I have two and they are delightful. No shed, no doggy smell, super smart, love a big walk or play but also very happy snoozing. Very good with my daughter from when she was a baby and even happy to be lugged around or dressed up by her now she's four.

Unfortunately this doesn’t describe most Shibas at all and I am very much involved with Shibas and showing. Didn’t recommend for OP since most of them do NOT like a cuddle and want their personal space, so can be very hit or miss with kids. Never heard a “nanny dog” myth directed at them before and it doesn’t fit them.