Scared of our dog and I'm not too sure I still want him

[Kayzr]

We have a golden retriever. He has just turned 1. He is a nice dog except for he barks a lot outside when he hears neighbours etc. Someone reported him to the dog warden who came and said that the barking wasn't too bad and just to try and bring him inside when he does start to bark.

But for the last week when I have gone to get him in, he has been growling at me. He seems to crouch down and starts to growl at me and bark. Its really scaring me and I am so sick of crying about him.

DP works away for 5 weeks at a time so its just me at the minute. I am also pregnant which is worrying me as well about the growling.

@ Dooin.

I second the long lead idea. Far better to put him on one and grab the end of the long lead if treats and praise don't tempt him (using, as has been said, your best cheery, happy happy voice, making neighbours think you're cuckoo!) than grabbing the dog himself - that way being snapped at and/or scaring each other and causing mega problems lies.

LOL at call for Valhalla!

DogsBeastFiend, my mum or brother would take us in an emergency I think. Never actually asked them but I assume they would do.

I am concerned that its just tiredness on my part too. I feel really tired, I had food poisioning last week and didnt eat anything other than the odd bit of toast for a week so he didn't get much exercise. He normally gets at least an hours walk a day and he just got a small 10 minute walk everyday last week.

It seems a bit crazy but this is generally what happens.

He barks or I need him to come in to do school run or I want to go to bed. I do to door and call him and nothing happens, he looks at me.

So I stick on shoes and go outside and say "in". This is when he has started running under the table and growling and barking. He crouches down but yes his bum is in the air so does this mean its more playing than angry?

Eventually I go back in and then he will follow me.

I haven't spoken to breeders, they seemed really nice but have never responded to any emails with pictures of him growing up etc depite saying they would love to know how he is getting on and we could take him back if we couldn't cope with him.

Sounds like you've turned 'in' into a game of chase and follow to me

Stop calling him when you are on the doorstep. Go out, show him the treat, walk back to the door holding the treat just of his reach. Once he is inside he gets the treat.

It's a good idea to get a trainer in if it's worrying you. They're not that expensive considering how invaluable their advise is, plus, they'll be able to give you tips on how to introduce the new baby when he/she arrives.

peanut, FYI I am Vallhala.

I think that the words you're looking for are "sorry Vall/DBF"!

Kayzr, Bum in the air, front legs stretched on the floor means "Play with me like another dog would Mum!" :o

So he knows "In!", that's excellent - use that word every time you treat for a positive response to your command and treat AS SOON AS HE RESPONDS or he won't connect the 2.

I sympathise with the being pregnant, having (in my case just one toddler) other DC and being ill with food poisoning, I recall it still, bloody awful and no wonder you're stressed, tired and run down. Take it easy on yourself and give the bloody ignorant breeder a call. Am cross for you that they haven't responded to you.

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=dog+playing+bum+in+air&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=eQ8&sa=X&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnsfd&tbnid=zHuyqYwSua5KbM:&imgrefurl=www.123rf.com/photo_9623039_playful-dog--english-bulldog-with-bum-up-in-the-air-in-playful-stance.html&docid=c9JsHtG45AQrcM&imgurl=us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/Cole123RF/Cole123RF1105/Cole123RF110500082/9623039-playful-dog--english-bulldog-with-bum-up-in-the-air-in-playful-stance.jpg&w=400&h=339&ei=6w6nTtTmF8mV8QO8lP3aDw&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=492&sig=101830892641785858604&page=1&tbnh=161&tbnw=219&start=0&ndsp=10&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:0&tx=106&ty=72&biw=1252&bih=523" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">What I mean by dog with bum in the air!

Er, not really dbf

Having seen threads like this in the past, where people have wanted to give up dogs etc you have gotten a bit angry at them. Which is fair enough, if you see this kind of thing all the time with rehomed dogs;it must make you pretty hardened to people.

Now you see this is the point I keep trying to make. Op asked for advise, she was given advise, she took that advise in and will hopefully act upon it and look how nicely we are all playing together

Had Op turned around and said "Yes, I know I could train him but frankly I can't be arsed and the rag and bone man has just offered me a tenner for him, so he is gone" then Op would have been a twat and the thread would have gone differently.

As it is Op is not a twat. Unlike other posters, peanut.

Alright calm down! See, this is why I darent post on this topic!

You're a bit cliquey, and a bit nuts, frankly. Dooin.

I'm a Shiney feminist dog-lover. Total cliquey MN bitch

Blimey loving the attempts to stir up a fight on here.

Arse in air, tail going, woof woof woof boing = I wanna plaaaaaay!

Dog play can sound god-awfully rough as well when our two get going - lots of woofing and growling, but tails going, lots of butt in air bowing (and farting from the charming gaseous hound) - even when you're just playing a game of tuggy one of mine growls and must sound like a rabid dog to an outsider - it's just him verbalising his enjoyment and you get tuned into a "grrr this is fun" versus a "grrr is that someone outside" or a "grrr that's annoying me now - bog off and do one".

"See, this is why I darent post on this topic!"

Eh? But you just have! More than once! And whilst we were trying to help all you did was come along to try to slag me off!

Nice to see that you have accepted the (for me, gentle and leg-pulling) point that you were mistaken with such good grace and humour though peanut.

See, this is why I get the hump with the nay-sayers and critics.

As for being cliquey, that will include Midori1999, will it? The breeder I have great respect for despite the fact that I would have breeding banned for the foreseeable if I could and who I'm sure would like to throttle me for my opinions although she is always kind, polite and helpful? If folk with such differing opinions and backgrounds/experiences can be civil to one another and all pull together to help DOGS (remembering that this is the doghouse and I always make it clear that I work for the dog, not the human), well then, I'm in, I'm happy to be part of that clique. Anything you or anyone else can say to help this or any other OP and dog will, I am sure, be equally appreciated and valuable.

And Dooin, nuts? Well... kind, well informed, helpful, big hearted... if that's what you consider nuts I'll sign up for that club too.

Christ DejaWho, oh yes, the growling! When my Lab X and GSD2 play in the garden I fear I'll be reported for having fighting dogs! :o

I think you've perfectly described a teenagerish dog (in human years he's about 14) who's had a bit of a boring week because you've been ill and is trying as hard as he can to get you to play.

I'd be jollying him out of it - offering high value treats as everyone has said - speaking in a happy, sing song voice. Avoiding confrontation and shoutiness completely and getting him back in the house for his favourite thing.

He does need to learn that when you ask him to do something it isn't the time to try and make you play - that he needs to just do what you've asked. Every time. But I'd be taking the jolly, stinky cheese route with him.

Young dogs do come up with some inappropriate responses - it doesn't mean they're trying to savage you. They need firm but kind guidelines and training, training, training.

All I said dbf was that I thought you might get cross at this one because of the title. And no, I probably would post here relating to my pets; this topic is rather the aibu of the dog world! It was you who took offence to that.

And I'll say in DBF's defence that, despite my having bought a "fashion" crossbreed with a bloody silly name that is highly likely to have come from one of the BYBs she justifiably detests, she's not taken much of a pop at me about it.

And her passionate posts (which might upset some) about her line of work have meant I've learned a lot of positives about, for instance, SBTs actually. I confess that whereas, in my ignorance, I once would have been a bit about the breed, I now view them differently. My pup had the best game ever with one at the park the other day - has a new BFF now!
I've also found myself suggesting rescue dogs to people too, and would now do my utmost to persuade someone against re-homing a dog on the sort of flimsy pretext you sometimes hear about in RL.

peanut, I took offence not at you being unwilling to post here or viewing Doghouse as the AIBU of the dog world but at the comment "Oh God ".

I knew ^exactly what you meant, which is why I played along and asked you why Vallhala might be offended by YOU.

You made an error. You presumed to know me and slated me on this thread, being unaware that DBF, who had already posted supportive advice is one and the same as Vall.

Having had your mistake pointed out to you, instead of saying with grace, "Fair enough Vall/DBF, I presumed to know you, I made a mistake, whoops, sorry, silly me", which would have been received and replied to with equal grace and humour you, realising that you had made an arse of yourself, dug a bigger bleedin' hole and made a bigger arse of yourself by continuing to be somewhat unpleasant and by accusing me of being offended at something other than your insinuation that I would be unsupportive of and unhelpful to the OP.

One of us is not showing our best side here and this time I genuinely don't think it's me.

Now, do you want to help the OP with some suggestions or a kind word and let us all put this behind us or would you like me to find you a spade? :)

How can this simple thread asking for help have turned? Can't you start another thread to argue on?

Would the OP being pregnant make any difference to an uneutered male dog?Do they respond to female human hormones?
My neutered female cat used to be all over me like a rash when I was on 'fertile stage' but any other time she was meh.

I dunno, LOTF. I've heard it said - does anyone have anything to prove or disprove the theory?

Certainly I think that dogs pick up on our "weaknesses", be that one half of a married pair being a soft touch or the owner being tired and exhausted as the OP is. After all, when you consider how GSD2 and his predecessor, my Staffie cross, will/would come up to me, head on my lap or right in my face for cuddles if I'm upset I don't see why they shouldn't be tuned into our feelings and hormones.

FWIW, I think the OP has had good advice on this thread. The first step in trying to manage unwanted behaviour is trying to work out what the dog is trying to tell you- I agree with the others, it does sound like a teenage dog wanting to play/ stay out, rather than a challenge. In some ways it also sounds like the dog may be a bit unsure- not frightened as such, but going under the table doesn't really suggest a challenge to me, nor does the crouching. Has the dog maybe been told off in the past when he has been brought in (especially for barking)? In which case he might think he is in the wrong, somehow. Just a thought.

If you aren't feeling confident in handling him, I'd second the leader line, and there is no harm in talking to a GOOD behaviouralist- maybe see if your vet can recommend one. Avoid like the plague any behaviouralist who tells you that you need to "show him who's boss", as IMO this can be dangerous and lead to far more problems than it sorts. I really don't think this sounds like an aggressive stance, and a bit of tweaking/ training could bring it back in line. Let us know

And yes, I do believe dogs pick up on weaknesses! My own little witchy dog seems to know when I am at a low ebb, and takes full advantage!

Sorry I disappeared. Fell asleep on the sofa only to be woken up by the dog licking me at 1am.

I'm also sorry it turned into a bit of an argument. I don't want him to go which is why I've come here for advice. As much as he's driving me insane at the minute I'd miss him dreadfully.

You are tired, dog needs more exercise/stimulation, like he is used to. Could anyone walk him for you for a while.
Some great advice on here.
I do remember fondly being 7 months pregnant with DC4, hubby was working away all week, windy, rainy night, I got up for a wee, one of our dogs decided he needed a wee as well. So I let him out, did his business, and then the bugger refused to come back in. Messing about , being a bloody pain for an hour. He would get to open door , see me and run off. Yes, I could have left him outside but it was cold! I threatened to call the police but he ignored me! I was nearly in tears!

One of our neighbours has a boxer who is about 2 and he was telling me this morning that she was a crazy dog until she was about 18 months old and then just suddenly calmed down. He also offered to take him out for me on days I don't feel well. So Gresley(our dog) has just gone off with them. I couldn't thank him enough.

So far today I've been trying out all the advice on here and it's working. I'm no longer going out and playing chase the dog round the garden. He still goes straight under the table when the door opens but then I guess he wants to know why I am not going outside to get him and come wandering in the door where he gets treat and a mountain load of praise.

I think I'd forgotten how exhausting early pregnancy is. I spoke to DP last night and we are having him neutered when he gets home.