Paddy And Christine McGuinness: Our Family And Autism

[discoland]

Did anyone watch this last night?
I have an autistic DS age 5 so found it really interesting to get an insight into other families and individuals with autism, really liked it.

I would have loved to hear more about Christine. When she scored so highly on the test then admitted she'd tried to answer how she thought she should, but still got a high score. That's the experience of so many girls and women with autism right there.

@CoffeeWithCheese

I found it very frustrating - although I loved the Sedgefield lad (I used to bloody live there and I still can never spell that damn place) and thought he was just bloody brilliant and should have had the entire programme for himself.

Nice to see masking and anxiety in girls covered because there's so bloody little awareness of that at all still these days (and it's how DD's ASD manifests itself)... but even Christine's "diagnosis" was frustratingly shallow - one AQ questionnaire and a quick chat and - wow you're Autistic!

I agree this about her diagnosis. She even said she lied about answers , so her questionnaire shouldn't have been used to diagnose! And I think it really was a kick in the balls to parents who have been trying desperately to get a diagnosis and can't.

She needs to stop monetising her children.

@Knitter99 but it's flawed then.
I understand that girls and women find it particularly hard to be diagnosed but you don't know which way the score would have gone if she'd answered truthfully.

@Figgit

She needs to stop monetising her children.

Hmm but she didn't really do that? Any awareness is positive surely? And you didn't even see their faces on camera

@youaremysunishineherolady I must be imagining the Instagram ads then!
Not okay in my view for any parent to use their children like this, but far less ND children who are more vulnerable.

[quote Figgit]@youaremysunishineherolady I must be imagining the Instagram ads then!
Not okay in my view for any parent to use their children like this, but far less ND children who are more vulnerable.[/quote]
Maybe she saves the money for their future when her and paddy won't be around. I know that's a concern of mine and many other parents.

I found it really interesting, especially the part about Christine and when she said she masks so much in front of Paddy and he probably wouldn’t recognise or understand the person she is when she’s sat on her own. Did anyone understand what she meant by that? I thought she was great, very calm and practical.
I love Paddy M and actually felt sorry for him
as he’s clearly struggled with it all and made some mistakes along the way, who are we to judge? we’re all human. He comes across as a decent person and yes they’re fortunate to have money to help them, but it doesn’t mean their life is without huge problems.

I thought it raised some good points, particularly about the education system and how we need acceptance not just awareness.

I also agreed with Paddy saying that people may be familiar with the more ‘extreme’ ends of the spectrum, but not so much those somewhere in between. It will certainly be representative of a lot of families and help to broaden understanding of how autism presents in a huge variety of ways.

I’ll be interested to watch the Melanie Sykes & Harry Thomson documentary into education for autistic children, I think that will try and tackle the issues more head on.

[quote ballsdeep]@Knitter99 but it's flawed then.
I understand that girls and women find it particularly hard to be diagnosed but you don't know which way the score would have gone if she'd answered truthfully.[/quote]
I did yet another AQ questionnaire recently and my response to the "I'd rather go to the museum than the theatre" one is always the same - what is it at the museum and what's the theatre offering? Cos I'd be there like a shot for something spacey or scientific at the museum but fuck dusty old display cases, and there's some theatre shit I really would like to give a swerve to but can anyone get me Hamilton tickets?! And is it a theatre trip where I'm going to have really annoying people behind and in front of me or are they nice people so I won't spend all of it seething away?

That question in particular does my head in.

@CoffeeWithCheese Yes! I thought the same on the questionnaire!

Museum or Theatre? I like them both depending on what is there to see and how many people there are or aren't! Stupid question.

@Getthefireon

I found it really interesting, especially the part about Christine and when she said she masks so much in front of Paddy and he probably wouldn’t recognise or understand the person she is when she’s sat on her own. Did anyone understand what she meant by that? I thought she was great, very calm and practical. I love Paddy M and actually felt sorry for him as he’s clearly struggled with it all and made some mistakes along the way, who are we to judge? we’re all human. He comes across as a decent person and yes they’re fortunate to have money to help them, but it doesn’t mean their life is without huge problems.

Yes, I understood what she meant by that.

Even though my DH is the person I mask with the least (my children even less so) I do still do it. I'm only recently diagnosed so I'm still figuring out how to 'unmask' and I don't even know sometimes that I am, but I get what she means. I can't really explain it.

@Wellarentyouacleverdick I think she might have actually said she does it the most with him (I may be wrong) I’m interested in this as I assumed when one feels more comfortable, they’d be more comfortable being their true self..I might be wrong in what I’m saying, trying to understand it.

Very flimsy and superficial.

Here are my children on a trampoline in a lovely garden.

Here is a welcoming high school.

Here I am, popping to Oxford to see Mr Baron Cohen for an instant diagnosis.

@CoffeeWithCheese - that is a very odd question.
I’d have to say ‘it depends’ as well. On balance it’d be museum though (all things being equal re enjoyment factor).

I think the problem with a programme like that is that you can't show the public the real difficulties the parents face because you have to protect the children's privacy. That made the only really interesting thing the way Christine is feeling and has coped with autism, as she was willing to talk openly and honestly about herself. I'm surprised the producers didn't realise halfway through filming and focus on her.

I admired Paddy's honesty.
I had no idea about Paul Scholes either and the challenges him and his wife have had with his son , Aiden.
Of course having money will help these children, they will be able to provide everything they need and they will find them a decent school , sadly other people won't have these choices open to them and I'm sure many children end up falling through the cracks :(
It was nice they were able to keep the children away from the cameras too.
I thought it was informative and I liked Christine a lot.

The theatre or museum question
I think it's about the location and it's ambiance that the question is focused on, not what you'd see there.

In a theatre, you are surrounded by other people in very close proximity who shuffle around, blow their noses, get up and down etc. It can be loud, bright lights, there's spontaneous applause. You have to follow and interpret the plot Can be sensory hell for some people.

A museum is mostly not crowded and it's quiet aside from school trips, you take your time and choose what you want to look at. There are explanation cards and displays with most exhibits and you don't have to interact with anyone if you don't want to.

I I just kept thinking what lucky lucky people they were to have been able to earn such vast amounts of money based almost entirely on their looks and in Paddy’s case his friendship with Peter Kay.
Sorry I’m being superficial and they did present as loving parents but I’m always shocked that people can be that wealthy without having a huge talent (i.e surgeon/scientist etc)

Yy BlankTimes - I was coming to write that myself.

It's not that I particularly love museums, but I definitely think of them as safer and easier than theatres (outside of covid times). The last thing I went to had helicopter noises, flashing lights, guns, smoke, etc etc, I don't even remember the name of the play but remember feeling trapped and overwhelmed.

So, given a choice which intentionally gives no information at all except what you can guess at, it would always be a museum for me.

When I went for diagnosis though I wrote answers against the questions detailing stuff like that in case it changed things; I didn't want to be somehow manipulate the scores.

** I just watched it and I thought it was awful. Totally bland and superficial and was really about Paddy’s journey in coming to terms with it and even at that it didn’t go in to any depth about how he did that.
It was really badly put together, nothing was gone into with any depth or insight but just skimmed over. **

^I agree.

In real life an adult diagnosis wouldn’t just be done by a questionnaire - there would be a full life history taken and also family would be interviewed as well. They sort of alluded to this when Christine was talking with Baron-Cohen but it wasn’t at all clear and someone new to autism might think you just complete a survey like a magazine quiz.

@BlankTimes - that makes more sense and good idea to clarify the answers as I’m sure that must be taken in to account.
I found the Christine aspect of the programme very interesting and I can relate quite a bit of that to my young adult dd who has no diagnosis, but has MH issues (anxiety in the main), has always struggled socially and has masked her whole life (she has admitted that to me in so many words - ‘faked it’ is her terminology).

@Teenagetrouble

In real life an adult diagnosis wouldn’t just be done by a questionnaire - there would be a full life history taken and also family would be interviewed as well. They sort of alluded to this when Christine was talking with Baron-Cohen but it wasn’t at all clear and someone new to autism might think you just complete a survey like a magazine quiz.

I think anyone who knows anything about autism would realise/know this already. To me, having gone through the process I know that there will have been a much more in depth assessment done behind the scenes. Obviously they're not going to televise her whole assessment, it's deeply personal and it's her private medical information.

I suppose it could lead to a misunderstanding in people who do not know any better that you fill out a form, have a quick chat and you're done. They could have added a line in about a more thorough assessment being done. I guess in a short programme you can't cover everything though!

[quote Getthefireon]@Wellarentyouacleverdick I think she might have actually said she does it the most with him (I may be wrong) I’m interested in this as I assumed when one feels more comfortable, they’d be more comfortable being their true self..I might be wrong in what I’m saying, trying to understand it.[/quote]
Perhaps she did say that. I can only speak for myself. I am much more 'myself' with DH and my children and now I know that I'm autistic I can feel when I'm not being myself with others, if that's makes sense. Also I'm exhausted after being in other peoples company and for me it's sort of a sliding scale depending on how well I know someone and how comfortable I am with them.

My parents and close family, not so exhausting. My close friends, quite tiring after a prolonged period (few hours). Socialising with DHs friends and their wives, an evening of that wipes me out the next day. Going to a wedding/all day event/being with people I don't know for long periods/ attending meetings where I need to have my full game face on - honestly it takes me a few quiet days at home to recover from. I don't need to take to my bed for days or anything, but I can feel the effects. I am drained, my executive functioning goes to shit, I'm snappy and short, I'm much more sensitive to noise and sensory input, I'm clumsy, I'm forgetful.

Others of course may well be, and probably are, different. That's just how it is for me.