Panorama - I want my baby back

[BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability]

Anyone watching?

This promoting of the idea that SS want to steal babies makes me very uneasy...

No-one loses a child purely because they may have been damaged by being in care. They may lose the child because that child has been harmed or is at risk of harm.

Young people should not be losing children because they have been in care themselves and are damaged (possibly). It's a self-perpetuating cycle of misery.

Now this, I can absolutely sign up to.

Wouldn't it be better if we all pooled our resources and energies to deal with this, which is a real and massive problem?

Sorry, please forgive me if I repeat anything here as I've not read all the replies (I should be studying, oops!) but I wondered when I'd see a thread about this on here at some point.

I didn't actually watch it, partially out of fear. When I was a member of Netmums, almost 1 in 10 threads was about SS and how they were 'stealing' children and even unborn babies, left right and centre, and from 'innocent' parents. Now I'm not hugely naive but still, these stories put the fear of God into me

I am that parent who is truly afraid to have to take my children to A&E if the need arises - I haven't gone when I probably should have done because of this.

Surely I'm not the only parent to worry like this and therefore if it's the media just portraying SS as monsters, then they need to realise they could potentially be putting lives in danger due to the fear within mums / dads not to take the 'risk' with A&E ??

But the reason so many children in care are so screwed up is that they were left far too long in dangerous and chaotic families.

Young people should not be losing children because they have been in care themselves and are damaged (possibly). It's a self-perpetuating cycle of misery.
If the 'damage' consists of abusing their own children then yes, they should be loosing their children. There is no point in blame laying here. Put the children first is all anyone wants.

Can I have the 'How to' guide I referred to in a previous post please?

I was talking about this case - a 3 year old wrongly taken

If you mean the case highlighted in Panorama, that child was allegedly wrongly taken as a baby. Do you think that it would be right to remove her from her adoptive parents three years later?

TheRealCarrie - that is precisely the reason I have been banging my poor tired old drum since 2011 now.

Scaremongering does NOTHING HELPFUL.

Rather it makes it more likely that children will suffer, even die, because parents will not try to get help.

Further proof for me that the conspiracy theorists really don't give a damn about the children. the children are just pawns in their dangerous game.

The question I have, is how to DRs differentiate between say a baby that has fallen out of bed (hit head), and a baby that has had his head smashed against something ??

TheReal you are precisely why JH is so dangerous. People like you are now feeling unable to trust the system. The truth has been distorted to such an extent and scaremongering is rife. Chaos ensues. Only person benefiting from it all is a certain MP's ego being stroked.

Whats the 'how to' guide?

Carrie, unquestionably the media have a role in making parents unnecessarily afraid of seeking medical care for their children. So in particular do people like Ian Joseph and John Hemming for the scaremongering that they do.

@spero - yes absolutely because the women in care/abused are the ones that are attacked easily - cases where they have been told they didnt or couldnt bond/empathise with their kids because they didnt have it as a child themselves. hence the risk of future of emotional harm.

And as you well know the fractures thing was a bit of a red herring because the number of cases are small in comparison.

Even given that there are more than 3 cases I know of where the 'bump on the head' thing has been misdiagnosed resulting in wrongful adoptions. Im sure you know the lady who is/was an accountant. And given that two of these cases were featured last night!!

Do you think Jill McCartan should keep her second child out of interest?

Carrie, you'd have to ask a doctor about that, but I think there are detectable differences between injuries caused by falling out of bed and having the head smashed against something. For instance, a child who has been swung against a wall will show damage to the neck, and if he is being abused will often show areas of old bruising and healed fractures.

TheRealCarrie - what distinguishes accidental injuries from inflicted injuries is that when there is an accident, the parents can usually tell you how it happened. And their stories don't change over time.

Small children should not suffer serious injuries without their parents knowing what is going on. Either the parent inflicted that injury or left the child unsupervised which is in itself dangerous.

A small baby who cannot walk about is likely to have suffered broken bones because a parent hurt him or her I am afraid.

this may be an accident - tripping or falling. Or it maybe abuse.

If your child does hurt him or herself, try not to panic. Get the help you need. The doctors will ask you how it happened and there will be notes taken. Suspicion is only aroused if you can't offer any explanation or the explanation you offer doesn't fit with the injury - for e.g. a broken femur on a baby is unlikely to happen because baby caught leg on car seat.

Carrie, your family is precisely the kind of one I was talking about on this thread or another (losing track right now)

such scaremongering like "Don't take your child to A+E whatever you do, evil conspiricies mean it will be taken from you" is spectacularly damaging and could potentially prevent children from getting the medical help they need

families struggling with poverty, hardship, inability to cope will also be put off accessing help...and I would wager those types of scenarios very much running into the "thousands" with all the well publicised cuts to support services

the only people who need fear accessing the help that is available for us all are those who have harmed their children deliberately, repeatedly and with no remorse at all

OK, wizard, I think we can now take it that the evidence you claim to have seen doesn't exist as you have ignored all requests for it.

@Lioninthesun no they often lose their kids in case they emotionally damage them - not will or have - might. Im emotionally damaged each time my football team loses!!

If your child is hurt one of the best things to do now is take a photo of the injury and where it happened - document it - as a precaution.

I think Jill Mc Cartan should be assessed to see if it is safe to leave a baby with her. But I am afraid she will have to continue to live in the shadow of that judgment.

This 'risk of emotional harm' makes me angry.

Children are NOT taken from their parents on some wishy washy worry that they may one day be 'emotionally harmed' because for e.g. their parents were in care. the evidence and the risks have to be much more serious than that.

But the conspiracy theorists continually say that only proof of actual physical harm can be enough which is such wicked rubbish as anyone who has seen the aftermath of serious emotional abuse can attest.

There are usually several threads on the go on this forum about the devastating impact of growing up with emotionally abusive parents.

I agree with wizard, photos can be helpful but remember that bruises are notoriously difficult to age. Most doctors won't even offer an opinion about when a bruise occurred because it is so very difficult to say.

But if your child is injured, please, please get the help you need. If you fail to get help then that will be seen as a red flag about your ability to care adequately.

@Lioninthesun no they often lose their kids in case they emotionally damage them - not will or have - might.
I doubt very much a court would remove a child 'in case' more likely is that they have evidence of this happening. Or do you have facts here?
Documenting your child's injuries will not help in any way other than to show the frequency and the fact it happened. How can a picture tell how the incident occurred? What profession are you in wizard?

Im not in child care. The advice is good.

At least it might help explain how it happened. My son bashed his nose badly when he was very young - he was too young to break it. We took him to the hospital. Im not sure I'd do that now -