OBEM this week - 27 march SPOILER and SENSITIVE.

[gregssausageroll]

Is going to be a difficult watch. The couple want the birth to be aired in order to raise awareness.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2298377/Couples-heartbreak-death-newborn-baby-shown-Channel-4s-One-Born-Every-Minute.html

[DrCoconut]

The couple live not far from us (don't know them) and it was in our local paper a couple of weeks ago. I think it was due to be on last week but got delayed? I have recorded it as usual but not watched yet.

[wannaBe]

I despise these programmes which publicise people's grief in the name of entertainment. Because that's what it is - entertainment. I have no doubt that the couple involved feel that being on the show will raise awareness. But how many other people were approached I wonder, who were about to have babies with serious medical conditions likely to result in the baby not surviving. I wonder what kind of contract the parents had to sign, whether they would have been able to pull out of those moments being shown - I doubt it. More to the point, what about data protection? How is it that these programme makers are allowed to approach couples in situations like this? who is it at the hospital who approaches the makers of obem and gives them the details of these people? If it were the couple going to the programme makers and saying that they would like to be considered for the show in order that it raise awareness I can sort of see it, but to approach someone after their twenty week scan when you know the news they've been given (a fact which you shouldn't be aware of in the first place as it is supposed to be confidential), and to then publicise the fact beforehand in order that you will probably generate more viewers is despicable.

The advert for next week's show is a pure indication that C4 see this as entertainment and nothing else.

The couple concerned have had their rawest moments of grief publicised on national television and were so very brave in doing so. And while I certainly don't think it's wrong for these types of programmes to be shown, I do think it's wrong that it happens in this way.

[CandlestickOlder]

They put a sign up on a maternity wards saying 'Would you like to be on One Born? Call us!' And then people do. And then they give permission to be filmed. Simple really.

[BebeBelge]

To everyone on here who watched, or indeed who didn't watch because it was distressing, I think we can all agree that the family were very brave to want to share their story and raise awareness of this awful, woefully under-researched condition.

Please, PLEASE don't let this experience be in vain for them and sign the CDH UK e-petition calling on the government to provide funding for research into diagnosis, causes and treatment of CDH. Since the publicity surrounding this episode, the e-petition has hit the 10,000 mark which means that the Dept of health must issue a reponse but if we could get it to 100,000 then a debate will need to be held in parliament.

Please consider signing :

CDH e-petition

[PeneloPeePitstop]

My situation was very different but by God was that triggering.
Bless little Kaiden x

[chipmonkey]

Well said, Dee!

wannaBe, I am quite sure that if the couple had wanted to pull out and not have their grief shown on TV that they could have done so. I applaud them and C4 for actually showing that sometimes it doesn't go as planned and that not all babies are born healthy or survive.

My daughter died of SIDs. We tried to save her but our attempts were futile, we had the worst day of our lives in the childrens hospital, knowing that her little brain had died and that our girl wouldn't be coming home.

I knew some bereaved Mums here on MN, particularly fioled whose second baby was due the same time as my dd. I knew all about her first lovely daughter who was born sleeping. Thanks to her, I knew that we did want photos taken, that we should take hand and footprints, that although what we were going through was horrendous, that we should make certain memories, even though the thought of it seemed strange at the time. It sounds odd but I was better for knowing the story of someone who had walked this awful path before me.

Years ago, stillbirth and neonatal death were not talked of and families were expected to bear the grief in private. But there is no insurance against a baby dying, there is nothing different about those of us who lost children, we are just normal parents who have had the worst thing happen that can happen to a parent. I think there is no harm at all in knowing for example that if your baby has not kicked in a while that you should to to hospital or that babies should sleep on their backs.

And watching the show won't cause you to lose your baby and if you do watch it, the upset you feel is nothing compared to that of a bereaved parent. How do you think it feels for us, when the show normally shows the happy ending we didn't get?

[greengoose]

I am in awe of how brave this couple were.

My little girls 1st birthday is in two weeks. We also had bad news at the twenty week scan, and kept going knowing it might not be ok. She was transferred to GOSH at birth, but the op that happened the next day (to remove a tumour) failed, and she never got strong enough for them to try again. She stayed for six days, and then we got to hold her for the first time as we said goodbye.

This programme did make me cry, of course it did, but these stories should be told, there is such a taboo about babies and children dying, nobody wants to admit it happens. My main hope though is that this couple find some comfort in having shared their story, and in so many people 'knowing' their little boy, and shedding tears for him. He was very beautiful wasn't he? And such a fighter! It's such a sad thing when no one knows your child.

I'm now pregnant again, I have my twenty weeks scan in two weeks, a couple of days before my daughter birthday.

[MrsVamos]

I watched. I gave birth to my stillborn son nearly 10 years ago. Brought it all back.

I thought the couple were amazing.

[Trazzletoes]

wannaBe I practically live at the LGI where OneBorn is filmed.

You can't hardly move for leaflets asking if you are due to give birth during the time when they are filming and to mention to your health professional if you want to be considered.

It will 100% have been their choice to take part. And good on them for doing so. I'd never heard of the condition before.

It certainly wasn't "entertainment" for me and I think anyone would have to be pretty sick to have been "entertained" by their story.

It was incredibly sad, but I also thought it was very sad that the man felt that he couldn't cry in front of her and that he wouldn't be a real man if he wasn't strong and stoic. I really fear for him in the future and hope that he has an outlet to work through his grief as well.

[greengoose]

Signed the e petition, thanks for link BEBE.

[whiteandyellowiris]

wow, peoples attitudes never cease to amaze me, all this oh dear i couldn't watch it, there should be a warning

how utterly cowardly and pathetic

17 babies die inthe uk alone, every single day,due to stillbirth or neonatal death, its not really that uncommon


my son died shortly after he was born and we never get over it, or move, we just have to try and learn to live with it

sands

love and respect to the family, they have really done well raising awareness
of how awful this is

[OrangeLily]

What an amazing couple. I'm so glad they were brave enough to share their son's story. Just watched it now and was very stuck by how happy and sad it was. RIP xxx

[Mumsyblouse]

wannabe I really disagree with you, why should this couple's pregnancy and birth be excluded because it didn't have the 'happy ending' that people want to see on programmes such as this? I don't find the way it was filmed voyeuristic at all, I wish I'd seen a programme like OBEM before I had my first, I had no idea what was going on or what labouring looked like and I love this programme for showing the variety of experiences, including this very sad one.

As for consent, of course they were consented, at every stage of the programme and would have had the right to pull out even after filming stopped, it would not have gone out without their consent.

OBEM has shown over 100 births, and it is a very sad but true fact that women do risk injury or even death in childbirth, and not all babies survive after birth even in our medical Western culture. I don't think they over-egged the publicity , if anything they treated this couple as part of the normal show which I think was better than making a 'special' about them.

I also hate voyeuristic shows about disability with shocking titles that often appear on channel 4 and 5, but I don't think OBEM is one of these.

[peeriebear]

I think they did it well. We weren't shown close up footage of the couple's last hours with their son; just some black and white stills of them holding him. It was handled very respectfully and with the full support of CDH uk.

[BebeBelge]

epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/33898

Bumping incase anyone else wants to sign the CDH Uk e-petition...