School Prom - outrageous expectations?

[SmellsLikeTeenSweat]

This is new territory for me. DD is 16, leaves school this year after GCSEs to go to college. The prom, in June, seems to be a leaving party & I vaguely remember that last year some girl turned up in a helicopter.

So, all talk in our house atm is of dresses, shoes, bags; tiara or bow? Hair up or down? etc.

And now she wants
this to take her there. Damn that Katie Price!

I have suggested a) friend with motorbike and b)friend with open-topped sports car, or c) my car. a) being greeted with distain & b) dismissed as 'tacky'. c) - 'I'd rather walk!'

She's going with bf, DS (her twin) is going in a limo with his date & others (booked by some other poor sap parent.

So what do ^normal^ people do? This feels like having a kid's party with a present list at John Lewis - a tad OTT.

[SmellsLikeTeenSweat]

Defo a US import.

Unfortunately we live in the back of beyond & walking not an option, no buses etc.

I supose I should be grateful that it's in the school hall & not some hotel...

They are asking for parent volunteers to help with the food etc. I'm going ot volunteer, then I can monitor will feel involved. DD will be well p--d off . WEll, it was nearly called off last year 'cos they didn't have enough parent helpers

[Hullygully]

If I don't get that pink carriage I will DIE.

[southeastastra]

thanks for the link! sounds good. i think proms are pretty sweet, wished we'd had them 'in the day'

[IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern]

I am too soft here I think because I actually feel a bit sorry for her here.
I totally agree with the pink carriage being a huge no but her twin brother is getting the limo experience.
Granted some other sucker parent is paying for it but still he is getting it and at the moment she isn't.

I do agree the moving from school to (is it 6th form college??) is a huge thing and must feel like a massive thing to celebrate like a rite of passage and she is wanting to make the most of every last second of it.

At my dd's school (she is still only 6 thankfully)last year when the primary 7's left the parents asked if they could do anything for the children going up to the academy and the parent council agreed to give money if the parents covered the rest of the cost and they could choose what to do with it.
The dc's and parents chose limo's and a meal and arranged it all.

[GetOrfMoiLand]

Rites of passage: my rite of passage as a 16 year old was to go to the top of Hillsborough (great big cliff) and frisbee our exercise books off the top.

HUGELY enjoyable.

Not hiring a pink carriage.

[cyteen]

Rites of passage? Whatever happened to assembling en masse in the local park, getting pissed on cider and trying to snog unsuitable boys?

[Attenborough]

The secondary school where my mum's the headteacher deliberately takes the Year 11 kids 10-15 miles away for the prom, as otherwise their mates from other schools hang around nearby and it's much harder to enforce the no alcohol policy. They do put on coaches to and from the school though, so the kids get their limos etc there.

[IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern]

I never said the prom and limo were the rite of passage but the celebration on leaving on chapter of your life behind and moving onto the next...yours getorf happened to be throwing your text books off a cliff.

I don't think all this guff with limos and prom dresses is a good idea wither but I do remember being a teenager and I can see wjhy the op's dd is feeling a bit pouty as at 16 you don't think "oh such and such is paying for that not my mum and dad" you think "huh we're twins and he's getting it" honestly that attitude starts about 6 and continues until you start working and actually having to aprt with your own cash.

[SmellsLikeTeenSweat]

Cyteen that was my rite of passage too 'Cept it was vodka in my case, and he was a very spotty boy I'd never have looked at if I hadn't been bladdered, & I suspect he thought the same about me!

[SmellsLikeTeenSweat]

Anyway, yes, she's going to a big, scary college. It's defo a rite of passage (that's the expression I couldn't think of when I said milestone!)She wants it to be perfect. DS is going with one of her best mates. No doubt she is a bit miffed that she wasn't invited to share the limo, but seems to be the boys who've organised it. Sorry to those mums of boys who fondly think their DSs won't be interested

[racingheart]

Just lurking in fascination and horror...

[Swanky]

It is GRIM isn't it!!

I have got off lightly, a gorgeous dress from a (nice!) high street store, either sharing a limo or a VW camper. Wants hair/nails/tan, but its all quite easily done/cheap here if you look in the right places and they have managed to get some good deals with local salons for discounts.

Never had any of this in my day!!

[whatwasthatagain]

We leant one of our HGVs to a driver's son who was at Agriculture College - Lots turned up in tractors and the like. We have a motorbike and side car so DD can go to hers in that

[LittleRock]

It's a school disco.
They should all wear pedal pushers, dance to Love Cats and eat sherbert fountains like I did.
No-one allowed outside the school hall without supervision from a teacher wearing elbow patches.
No kissing until the last song, which will be something by T'Pau or Chris de Burgh.
Anyone dancing to Phil Collins will be beaten up in the car park afterwards.
The Head of English will wear a Laura Ashley dress, but it will still manage to incorporate an inappropriately plunging neckline. She will swig from a hip flask and the physics teacher will fall in (albeit unrequited) love with her.
'Dinner' will be hot dogs and panda pops.

[DandyDan]

I wouldn't push the boat out for a Year 11 prom, even though there is a parting of the ways when they go to different sixth forms and colleges after the summer.

After all, there'll be another prom at the end of Year 13 when they finish sixth form.

Here some folk are going over the top for the yr 11 prom, which is a more informal occasion; but the year 13 event is more formal with long dresses and possibly a posh car.

We got a £30 party dress from a high street chain for the Year 11 prom, and a pair of new shoes. That's it.

[bamboobutton]

i'd definitly splash out on a nice dress for her though.

i'm still very bitter that i had a shitty C&A lycra dress for my prom and my sisters had monsoon for theirs
this was 15 years ago too!!

[redshoesnoknickers]

How about something completely different?

[LollipopViolet]

^^ One of my uni friends recently made a film about something similar. She made over two girls, and built elaborate sets and boxes etc.

My prom was at a posh hotel and to be fair, was one of the best nights I had at school. We live right next to a limo company, so we got a car for half price, about £180 instead of £360. My dress was from Debenhams (£100 I think) and got some other bits. We also got our lovely hairdresser to come round on the day, cut and blow dry my hair and she did my make up at no extra charge. I shared the limo with 4 other girls.

On the subject of limos, I had major issues with my mates over mine! They were all couples, and all wanted to pile in and leave me as the only single. So I put my foot down and said if they insisted on trying to organize it, they could go off and have a couples only limo of their own! Might have been a bit harsh but not turning up with them didn't ruin the night, I sat with them all for the meal and it actually meant there was no tension on the night

This was all in 2006 btw

[majafa]

We didnt have proms back when I went to Primary or Secondary, 25 yrs or so ago..

I did have a 16th birthday party tho

My eldest leaves primary school this year he and his class are having a arfternoon disco/party on the day they leave, this was organized by a parent.

Our school in the last few years have done a sleepover, with treasure hunt and stuff.
far better idea in my opinion..

[FleurDelacour]

"Our school in the last few years have done a sleepover, with treasure hunt and stuff.
far better idea in my opinion.."

Mmmm couldn't see this going well with the 192 year 11s at my school. Can you imagine a sleepover of testosterone fuelled lads and pretty girls. OMG.

They are having a posh prom in a hotel (as are year 9 and year 13).

[majafa]

Aaaah but we're only a small village school, 26 I think in DS class

[ageing5yearseachyear]

hold on in there- my dd1 had a prom at the end of middle school.

i flatly refused to arrange a limo- on the basis that i did not trust all her flaky friends to cough up.

she found a dress for £30 so i said i would give her £30 towards transport.

They ganged up on some other poor parent and went in a pink limo.

i dont understand, never will and pointed out that i had never been in a limo but it really meant a lot to her.

tbh - there was a video made of it that the kids bought- half of it was filming all the kids arriving in their various forms of transport- not unlike wacky races.

I liked the one that arrived in a Ford Focus.

[Trafficcone]

I think it's a bit sad that parents can't enjoy indulging their kids at this time in their lives. I know so many who'll spend £200 on a soft play birthday party plus party bags when the child is 4 but won't chip in £150 towards a limo or posh frock when the child has earned it by working hard on their GCSEs.
My ds and his best mates are still trying to think of ways to subvert the prom style. Last heard they were going in 70s pastel suits with frilly shirts and they thought the limo idea was a bit chav so they'd scouting round for an alternative. I think it's fab and will be making a big contribution.
When it's DDs turn she'll want the frock and limo thing and I'm sure it can be done cheaply within a group of friends.
The holiday in Newquay etc will be waiting until they e done their A levels though!!

[webwiz]

I think the reward for working hard for GCSEs is meant to be when the results come out in August Trafficcone

[Wanderingsheep]

My friends and I were going to get a limo between 8 of us at mine (was called a leaving do back then ) 10 years ago! Everyone decided that 90 quid each was a waste of money and my mum took some of us in her Nissan micra .

We had ours in a hotel so had to pay for the meal and drinks which were expensive!