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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

12 year old and make up

26 replies

djwholesome · 22/09/2025 11:20

Hi
What's your opinion about make up for young teens?
My oldest girl is in y8 and she wants to wear a full face of make up to school every day. I do wear make up but not a lot of it, and when I was at school we were not allowed any. She has make up that she has bought herself or old bits of mine that she has collected. I bought her some concealer so at least the colour matches better. She is coming downstairs in heavy make up each morning and it is making arguments in the house as me and my husband are both really uncomfortable with it. I feel she is far too young for this and I don't want her to clog her perfect skin. She is not even in puberty yet. I am trying to suggest she wears a small amount of concealer, mascara etc and has more fun with it at the weekend, be subtle on school days, but she won't change what she does. She's ignoring me for weeks about it, and so we are having conflict each morning now. I find the make up embarrassing as she is only 12.

What's your view ? Am I just old fashioned??! Thanks!

OP posts:
ByGreyWriter · 22/09/2025 12:30

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padronpepper · 22/09/2025 12:34

What are the school rules about make up?

Original poster
djwholesome · 22/09/2025 12:43

Thanks, good to have your perspective. School has no rules. They allow any jewellery so she wears big gold earrings, lots of necklaces, like her friends. Gives chance to express yourself and I don't mind that now I've got used to it.

OP posts:
SteelyEyed · 22/09/2025 12:43

I'm surprised the school don't seem to have a problem with it?

I wouldn't be happy about it but in the grand scheme of things if she's otherwise well behaved I'd let it go. Pick your battles and all that.

Keep 'confiscating your makeup' up your sleeve as a potential future punishment option if and when needed. Sounds like it would be effective 😁

LambriniBobInIsleworthISeesYa · 22/09/2025 12:47

I’d be surprised if she’s not entered puberty at 12.

I couldn’t get worked up about this. Take her out and get her some better quality make up. I wore make up to school at her age (my school also had no rules about this) and I grew up to be a perfectly fine adult (sort of).

Hayley1256 · 22/09/2025 12:59

She's probably doing this as most girls her age will be wearing make up to school.

I would buy some stuff so the colours are right

SparklingRivers · 22/09/2025 13:06

I don't think it's old fashioned, more so controlling. I'm nearly 40 and my parents let me wear makeup (including ridiculous colours of eye shadow!) in secondary school.
Me and my friends copied eachother and experimented with it whilst finding our style and wanting to feel "grown up" as teenagers. It's a normal stage.
My DD is now in year 9, and wears light makeup but goes heavy on perfume, as do her friends. I've seen some other girls on parents evening with fake eyelashes since year 7.
It's a normal stage as they experiment with appearance and what makes them confident, be supportive and tell her she looks nice - her confidence, self image and bond with you is the most important thing to focus on at this age, not what makeup she's wearing and what you feel other adults may think of you because of it.

PurpleThistle7 · 22/09/2025 13:10

I’d take her shopping and get her proper stuff. Find a young makeup artist or someone at a boots etc to show her as she probably won’t hear it from you.

Member278307 · 22/09/2025 13:52

She is too young for make up

PurpleThistle7 · 22/09/2025 14:21

Member278307 · 22/09/2025 13:52

She is too young for make up

At 12?? I wouldn't be thrilled at 9 but in high school it seems totally normal to start exploring makeup and hair and whatnot.

QuickMember · 22/09/2025 14:26

I think wearing high quality make up and learning how to apply it, keep it hygienic and take it off is a skill in itself. I know it sounds frivolous but my ten year old is already self conscious about her appearance. She looks like me and I experienced a lot of negativity from my mum over appearance. I make sure my daughter has my positive attitude but I’ll still let her “cheat” a bit, after all that’s all make up is.

BebbanburgIsMine · 22/09/2025 14:48

Member278307 · 22/09/2025 13:52

She is too young for make up

I totally agree! 12 os far too young for make up.

My DDs are both adults now, but they weren’t allowed to wear it at 12. I allowed a bit of glitter or sparkle for occasions like parties, but to school? Not a chance!

ranoutofquinoaandprosecco · 22/09/2025 14:53

Mine is a bit older at 14 and her school has rules that it needs to look natural!
I found that telling her when it was a bit too much was worth it as she then toned it down.
As mentioned, it’s worth getting her make up that’s the right colour for her complexion and also the means to remove it well.
Also, the novelty may well wear off.

ByGreyWriter · 22/09/2025 15:11

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Snorlaxo · 22/09/2025 15:32

I felt the same and decided to let it go as school didn’t enforce their alleged natural makeup only rule.

One day she was handed the dreaded wipe to take off her makeup and from the next day, she decided to go for a more natural look.

springissprung2025 · 22/09/2025 15:53

My best friend and I used to go into the public toilets in town after school and slap on bright blue eye shadow. Just that, we had one little pot between us! I think it went up to our eyebrows. We’d wiggle around through the shops then back to the toilets to wipe it all off before going home. I don’t think children change through the years, rules may do as I’m surprised she’s allowed to wear it at school. My own DD went through a phase of the awful big gold hooped earrings too. Just get through this OP, her tastes will mellow

6thformoptions · 22/09/2025 16:02

I wouldn't let her wear it for school but out to town or a friend's birthday yes. Dd went through a phase around Y7-8 of eyeliner but by end of Y8 it had completely vanished and anything on her face at all was no longer the done thing or "aesthetic". I think sometimes you have to allow things you don't necessarily like within reason, so they feel they are discovering themselves.

DeborahJ1982 · 22/09/2025 19:42

I believe that as long as she is not damaging her skin barrier and she doesn't look daft its not an issue. of course that's just my personal opinion but i don't think its harming anyone especially if it makes your daughter more confident! Those teenage years are hard! 😕

InMyShowgirlEra · 22/09/2025 19:49

I don't think it's worth damaging your relationship over. It's just make-up- it washes off. She'll probably look back in 10 years and be embarrassed at photos, especially if it's badly done, but you won't convince her of that. At 12, it's more valuable to teach her that her body is her choice, rather than impose standards around clothes and make-up.

user2848502016 · 22/09/2025 20:42

I would let her experiment, my DD went through a stage of wearing quite a lot of makeup but she is now 14.5 in year 10 and is very minimal- just mascara and a bit of lipgloss. Best not to make a fuss and she will work out her own style

wafflesmgee · 22/09/2025 20:51

We were really strict with my eldest and said none at all age 12. Now she is 14 and feels a bit lost because she didn’t experiment when it was safer to when younger and when everyone else did, she feels like she missed the boat a bit, because now everyone else can do it well and she didn’t gain the skills.
I think the understanding that looks are a shallow value system and that your body focus should be on what you can do/achieve are better messages, but within that I wish I’d let her experiment a bit more tbh

user1497787065 · 23/09/2025 06:44

I would just make sure she is removing her make up at night with quality products and just promote through skincare. She will probably move on from the heavier make up fairly soon .

QuickNameChange22 · 23/09/2025 07:04

DD is 12 and wears makeup to school, the school don't have any rules against it. There's a lot of things I'll probably get worked up about as a parent but this isn't one of them.

I've bought her makeup and tried to teach her how to apply it so at least she won't walk out the front door looking like a clown (like I did at that age!) She doesn't wear a ridiculous amount and doesn't like mascara or eyeliner so its not in your face.

Original poster
djwholesome · 23/09/2025 12:56

Thank you for all your replies!! I just read through and somehow felt like I agreed with all of you even though very different views. I don't like seeing my girl in make up, it's hard watching your beautiful little one growing up sometimes but it's good she's not afraid to experiment, good she's happy going to school, and whether I like the make up or not she's doing it anyway.... so yes, it's about me wanting to control I guess.... for a good cause. Too much pressure to look a certain way from far too young, but I don't think I'll help her out by adding another source of pressure. I'll help her avoid looking like she's coated in polyfilla, and try not to make a fuss. Thanks!

OP posts:
JuvenileBigfoot · 23/09/2025 13:05

Just be glad the youth of today have access to YouTube and tiktok to show them how to apply it properly. I spent my teenage years with a purple smokey eye and that sticky lip gloss that felt like it was going to run down your face if you moved your lips too much.
And that's not to mention my "brown or purple lip liner with skin coloured lipstick" phase. Or my pixie cut with butterfly clips.