Driving lessons - how many?

[Anon751117000]

My 17yo has been getting driving lessons. I have been paying for them in blocks of 5 lessons (2 hours per lesson). So far, I have paid for 5 blocks of lessons which now in total as cost me £1800. Every time he comes to the end of a block, the instructor asks me for another payment. I keep asking him how many lessons are needed and was originally told at least 40 hours but you just pay for lessons until he passes his test!
I messaged him today to ask how many more lessons are needed and his response "he needs to pass his theory then book his text, lessons taken until he passes". I then explained its a 5 month waiting list for practicals so no way am I just gonna keep paying for lessons. he said he could get a cancellation if he's ready.
Does this sound right? I feel like he's taking the pi**. I do take my son out occasionally but I'm a nervous passenger so it never ends well.
He did fail his theory so has it booked in again for early June.
Maybe this is normal and he's just not picked it up very well - I'd be interested to hear other's experiences. I cannot afford any more.

EDIT: I've have just googled it and read that they should have 'on average' around 45 hours PLUS 20 hours or practice.
So, maybe its me being unreasonable. Yikes, I'm gonna have to start taking him out more.

I had 150 driving lessons back in the 1990's - it was the most stressful and scariest years of my life. My dad was adamant I had to pass my driving test. I hated every minute and suffered with massive driving anxiety. I tried 3 different instructors and was told I was "undriveable". Somehow I managed to pass and I drove for about a week after passing and haven;t driven since.

We paid for 50 lessons for my DD and the instructor said that she is unteachable as she has no idea. Tried another instructor and he wouldn't accept her as he said she is too dangerous. It is really hard because my dad couldn't have me in the car for practice as I was unsafe and my DH can't take my DD out for the same reason.

She has now given up like me!!! Her original instructor said by lesson 10 they should have an idea and 35 ish lessons is the average with 40 hrs practice,

It is really hard though if you are unsafe or your child is unsafe behind the wheel.

I would like to know why myself and my DD have this issue as no anxiety or nerves in general life.

Gosh @swipeup347 that’s tough - and so unusual! I’ve never heard of someone being unable to operate a machine before, after training (and 150 hours of training in your case) unless they have a disability which means they can’t.

Does your daughter want to resolve whatever is stopping her from driving a car? Or is she ok not driving? Can she ride a bike?

@swipeup347 oh wow I'm so sorry to hear that. I have no idea why you seem to have struggled like that but we assume that everyone should learn to drive but perhaps its just not for everyone. I'm shocked that you were forced into it, that cannot have helped your anxiety.

I agree with everyone, mine all did the theory before even strarting lessons. With dd1 she only had about 10 hours because DH took her out loads and so the lessons were more for things like parallel parking and various exam techniques.

For DS1 he took hum out less so had about 20 hours but he passed first time, but still needed quite a bit of practice before becoming a more confident driver.

DS2 is having lessons now and will probably be same as above. We have used cancellation apps otherwise practical tests slots are literally 6 months away where we live! So I would suggest investing the 20 pounds or so in one of those. Good luck!

My son took 18 months to learn to drive although he does have ASD. So I knew it was gonna be expensive. I’ve spent ££££. But I know it is an important life skill for him to have. Get the theory test done and then book any practical test. And get on a Swapping sites to bring it forward. What worked for my son Was two weeks before the test I took him out for an hour every evening. The once a week lessons were not consistent enough.

I think taking them out to practise makes all the difference. We live rurally so a lot of kids have driven on the farm etc and will have only a few lessons, just maybe 10-15 to get the manoeuvres nailed.

I did around 75hrs of lessons but had zero practise outwith that.

Goodness sometimes mn reminds you how different others are. I will get ds2 to do his theory asap, Dh will teach him to drive and then I'll take him out for loads of practice, a few lessons plus more parental practice, then book test. Quickest and cheapest way.

I’d be looking for a new instructor . My daughter learned to drive in 2023 , we waited for an instructor that had been recommended to us as she had a couple of lessons the year before but didn’t like the instructor . On her first or second lesson the instructor told her to book her theory for about 6 weeks time which we did and which she passed and then the test was booked . The first test she could get was 6 months later . We had one 60 minute lesson a week except when we or the instructor were on holiday and the instructor managed to move the test by swapping with other clients / driving instructors and despite failing the first test she had passed after about 30 lessons ( 30 hours) . We did minimal practice in our car as she has CFS an and finds driving too tiring really . The main issue we found was finding a good instructor who was happy to do hour lessons as most round here want you to do 2 hours and my daughter struggles with the hour let alone anymore .

There’s no tests at all where I am so I took dd to another city to do hers.

Incidentally I contacted an instructor about 5 months before DD’s birthday (still upcoming!), he advised me to book the theory test as soon as possible after her birthday, so she’s doing that 2 days after turning 17. Then he said will book a practical test as they are a 6 months wait, and see how she gets on as to whether they look for an earlier cancellation.

DS has had around 35/40 lessons so far. 1hr lessons. He has his own car to drive outside of those lessons and is out regularly ( only got car beginning of March). Practical test in a few month's time but instructor said if he isn't ready he will get him to cancel and rebook the test for later in the year which is sensible. Been learning since first week of July last year (when he was 17). Now 18.

DS also has ASD so I suspect it is going to take him at least 12 months too.

Due to disability, DS gets 40 hours of lessons funded through a grant. So he has been lucky not needing to use his own money. He instead used that money to buy his own car what he would have spent on 40 lessons.

DC has ALN and it cost me upwards of 5k in the end! Instructor gave them about ten free hours too. They passed on their fourth test… Then the insurance on the first car was 2.5k 😭

DD1 did 75-80 hours of driving, mainly taught by DH, 4 formal lessons.

@summerday25 omg, I won't complain then! He's just passed his theory so now have to get up early Monday to try to book a test. I'm going to pause his lessons for a while I think.

That is a lot of lessons! Makes me wonder if it's money grabbing by the instructors.
In my country you take 10 normal lessons and 4 risky situation lessons (dark, rain, ice and snow - did mine on a simulator as it was summer) at the minimum and then you're encouraged to take the test, no dragging it out for months, making you spend lots.

Hope you can get a test booked for him soon so you don't have to spend too much more.

The lessons are only a start of the money. Car insurance for teenagers is astronomical. Plus car maintenance.

This should be the standard. Just like children take GCSEs after a set amount of class time.

But I am learning that not all learners are taken out to practice a few times a week, in between lessons. I didn’t realise this - thought it was standard.

Only a small number of exceptions should need more lessons, ideally!

There's no going out to practice in private cars here either as you have to have passenger side brake and clutch to take a learner driving so it's 14 hours total driving before taking the test.

Ds1 had 18 hours of lessons, we’d paid for 20 and the last 2 were used up on test day.

We took him out at every given opportunity once his instructor said we were ok to do so - so every trip to the gym, to rugby training, even to the supermarket he drove. It all added up.

Ds2 will be starting soon. His theory is booked for the day after his first lesson and we’ll book the practical as soon as we can once he passes the theory.

To be honest, each time it’s been our dc who have organised everything so this isn’t all on you op x

No that's definitely not the way to do it theory tests only last 2 years and with the current wait times for tests you're lucky to get 2 tests in in that time.
I know someone who did it that way and their theory ran out before they could book their practical test

Do you have a family friend who could take him out for practice? All my friends used to borrow my late husband to take them out in between lessons . Dont be afraid to ask as the worst that can happen is they refuse but they may say yes .

It worked for my DC, and was recommended by their driving instructor. Test was booked as soon as lessons started.