15yr DD having sex

[Crispyf]

I have literally just found out my 15yr Dd is having sex. I found a condom in her bag. I tried to stay calm as new it was going to happen at some point. She has been with her boyfriend who is 16 next month for 7 months.We let him come round to the house and she goes to his house and have spoken to his parents. I am going to her to the docs this week to go on the pill. I feel like we can talk about things but feel really emotional about it. She has asked me not to tell her dad... what do i do. I feel like i should as dont want to keep secrets but don't want to break her trust. He does have a tendancy to be quite hot headed and being our first born will obviously be difficult. Any advice would be great!!😣

[yikesanotherbooboo]

Thankyou Leonard

[ALLIS0N]

If it were my son I would want to know so i could keep him away from her so a) he isnt doing something illegal and 2) so he doesnt wreck his life getting her pregnant

If you have a teenage son then you need to tell him that every single time he ejaulates inside a woman he loses the choice over whether or not he becomes a father.

Don’t wait until he tells you he’s having sex

[Primarkismyonlyoption]

He knows allison. Doesnt need to ejaculate. We have had these chats along with internet safety
Honestly i have drummed it into them all.

[MargaretCavendish]

Primark you seem very convinced that sex WILL lead to pregnancy. Of course there's always a tiny risk no matter how careful you are, but it is hugely mitigated by being very sensible with your precautions. Almost all of my female school friends were having sex by 16, not one of them got pregnant - but we were all very, very paranoid about it, and religious in our use of contraception (and used to take the morning after pill if we had the slightest concern about whether pill was late/condom had slipped, etc.). The problem with acting like contraception doesn't work is that it doesn't necessarily convey the message you want ('so don't have sex'). Study after study has shown that that's why teens in very religious environments given abstinence-only education are more likely to get pregnant: they still have sex (teenage urges are very strong!) but they've been told that condoms are a) for sluts and b) ineffective anyway, so they don't use them.

[Primarkismyonlyoption]

Marg not convinced.
But possible. I also hate the thought of it until they are adults

[Twinkletoes2018]

@leonardthelemming talks a lot of sense. I was 18 when I lost my virginity but my mum shamed me even at that age I would say not to tell her dad but to support her As you are clearly trying to do. Take her to the doctors but then tell her she can go in on her own or you can go in with her and leave it up to her.

[JDilla]

It's important to let her do what she wants but to be there for her if anything goes wrong, that's the best relationship you can have with her.

[TinaMena]

If she is underage surely her boyfriend will be committing an offence once he turns 16?
They are both committing an offence now if they are both under 16

[Sundance2741]

I don't think families should keep secrets and wouldn't agree with not telling your DH. That means she knows you cover for her. I'd hate for my kids to think I'd keep a secret from DH or vice versa. It's disrespectful to the other parent. (Admit my DH would probably be cooler about it than me). I'd be supportive but honest that I thought she was too young.

[S0ph1a]

There’s a difference between secrecy and privacy.

Some things are private and don’t need to be discussed with everyone in the family.