Severely depressed teen. DH against use of medication.

[DieselSpillages]

Ds 17 is having a terrible time with acute anxiety and depressive illness. We are waiting to see the psychotherapist and have seen the Dr and a private psychoanalyst. I feel it has reached a point where Ds would benefit from some medcation to help him function and not be in constant tears / panic mode. DH is really against this as he worries it will block his body from it's own natural healing and will just put Ds in a drugged up state.

Whilst I am totally in agreement that Ds needs to talk to a therapist , eat healthily , exercise etc. etc. I also believe it's reached a point where his suffering is so acute he's unable to help himself and could do with a helping hand to feel a little better in order to start to see a future for himself.

I am really struggling with DH's attitiude as he is not seeing the extent of Ds's suffering that I am witnessing. Friends who have suffered depression have said that medication really helped them. I'm not one to go rushing down the medicalised route but I believe drugs prescibed by a professional who knows their stuff can sometimes be life saving necessity. How can I help DH understand this ?

It's clearly really important for Ds that his parents are united so he can feel confident in his treatment.

The centre dealing wiith his case have advised me to fast track his treatment by taking him to hospital Emergency dept. where a psychiatric doctor could treat him sooner.(otherwise his appointment is not until December) We are not in the Uk.

Does anyone have a story of teen depression and antidepressants that I can share with Dh ?

[mathanxiety]

Is your husband ashamed of his son?
Does he think his son isn't trying hard enough?

[sashh]

Please allow the meds.

If he had a broken leg you wouldn't deny him pain relief.

Looking back I was severely depressed as a teen, I made some really bad decisions because I though the problem was the people around me, I didn't get medication until my 30s and it has helped so much.

[Bluebell66]

My son was suffering from acute anxiety and severe depression earlier this year, as a result of losing his Dad to cancer. He also has Aspergers Syndrome. Our GP prescribed Flupentixol at my request, and the difference in him has been amazing. He is awaiting counselling, but as a result of the medication he is now able to function and attend university. I think it is incredibly short sighted and selfish of your husband to deny your DS the medication he clearly needs. If he was diabetic would he deny him insulin? Your Husband has probably never suffered from anxiety and depression. It is a living hell, and your poor DS needs help now. Why increase his suffering when medication is there to help him?

[SunshineAndShadows]

Medication in conjunction with behavioural therapy/counselling increases the chance of success. If your son is depressed then he has abnormally low levels of neurotransmitters in his brain. This is a physiological problem and can only be corrected by drug therapy. Just as pain can only be controlled by painkillers or infection by antibiotics.

Antidepresssants normalise the brain chemistry meaning that he'll be better able to interact, cope and learn to deal with his current challenges. It's very difficult to learn to cope when the brain isn't adequately functioning.

Medication supports success in coping

[JennyOnAPlate]

I have no experience of a teen with depression, but have had depression myself (postnatal)

Depression when it is severe literally paralyses you. Telling me to cure myself through a healthy diet and exercise would have been akin to telling my 5 year old to perform brain surgery.

[JennyOnAPlate]

Sorry I posted too soon.

I did have counselling but without medication I wouldn't have even made it through the counsellors door.

for you and your son op, depression is a bastard of an illness.

[Borninthe60s]

Ask you DH these questions?

If your son commits suicide (sorry to be harsh) would he have wished he'd let him have tablets
If he was diabetic would he expect him to go without insulin, ditto asthma etc
If he had poor sight would he expect him not to wear glasses, ditto hearing aid

What I am getting at is undoubtedly it's the stigma (which has to end) of his illness which is colouring his judgement. Perhaps your DH feels it reflects on him in some way.

Your soon needs help, don't leave it too late.

[EnglishWeddingGuest]

I was going to say what sunshineandshadow said but I think her post says it all

My son is 11 - he's been on medication for 6 months and as others have shared, we've got our son back - there are still good days and bad - but at least now there are good days iyswim

No one else can truly understand what it's like when you child wants to die - begs you to let him - demands that you tell him what the point of it all is and then finds your answers completely insatisfactory - everyday I worry if I'll find him dead - everyday - but at least on the medication those days are less likely to be a reality

The stigma and lack of understanding of mental illness is profound - advocate for your son because he is likely unable to appropriately advocate for himself right now

[Dollius01]

I have suffered from acute depression and anxiety since childhood. Unlike you, however, my parents ignored it and did absolutely nothing about it. As a result, it became entrenched and I am now on 200mg of Sertraline for life. Without it, I am utterly suicidal.

My husband has bad asthma. He needs his inhaler every day to manage his condition. I need my medication every day to manage mine. The psychiatrist who recommended I remain on medication for life said I was absolutely right to equate the two things.

Would your husband really want your son to get through an asthmatic attack with "natural healing" only?

Mental illness is an illness, every bit as real as physical illnesses. It needs treatment, including drugs. You would be very wrong not to allow your son medication.