Severely depressed teen. DH against use of medication.

[DieselSpillages]

Ds 17 is having a terrible time with acute anxiety and depressive illness. We are waiting to see the psychotherapist and have seen the Dr and a private psychoanalyst. I feel it has reached a point where Ds would benefit from some medcation to help him function and not be in constant tears / panic mode. DH is really against this as he worries it will block his body from it's own natural healing and will just put Ds in a drugged up state.

Whilst I am totally in agreement that Ds needs to talk to a therapist , eat healthily , exercise etc. etc. I also believe it's reached a point where his suffering is so acute he's unable to help himself and could do with a helping hand to feel a little better in order to start to see a future for himself.

I am really struggling with DH's attitiude as he is not seeing the extent of Ds's suffering that I am witnessing. Friends who have suffered depression have said that medication really helped them. I'm not one to go rushing down the medicalised route but I believe drugs prescibed by a professional who knows their stuff can sometimes be life saving necessity. How can I help DH understand this ?

It's clearly really important for Ds that his parents are united so he can feel confident in his treatment.

The centre dealing wiith his case have advised me to fast track his treatment by taking him to hospital Emergency dept. where a psychiatric doctor could treat him sooner.(otherwise his appointment is not until December) We are not in the Uk.

Does anyone have a story of teen depression and antidepressants that I can share with Dh ?

[Dollius01]

I have suffered from acute depression and anxiety since childhood. Unlike you, however, my parents ignored it and did absolutely nothing about it. As a result, it became entrenched and I am now on 200mg of Sertraline for life. Without it, I am utterly suicidal.

My husband has bad asthma. He needs his inhaler every day to manage his condition. I need my medication every day to manage mine. The psychiatrist who recommended I remain on medication for life said I was absolutely right to equate the two things.

Would your husband really want your son to get through an asthmatic attack with "natural healing" only?

Mental illness is an illness, every bit as real as physical illnesses. It needs treatment, including drugs. You would be very wrong not to allow your son medication.

[EnglishWeddingGuest]

I was going to say what sunshineandshadow said but I think her post says it all

My son is 11 - he's been on medication for 6 months and as others have shared, we've got our son back - there are still good days and bad - but at least now there are good days iyswim

No one else can truly understand what it's like when you child wants to die - begs you to let him - demands that you tell him what the point of it all is and then finds your answers completely insatisfactory - everyday I worry if I'll find him dead - everyday - but at least on the medication those days are less likely to be a reality

The stigma and lack of understanding of mental illness is profound - advocate for your son because he is likely unable to appropriately advocate for himself right now

[Borninthe60s]

Ask you DH these questions?

If your son commits suicide (sorry to be harsh) would he have wished he'd let him have tablets
If he was diabetic would he expect him to go without insulin, ditto asthma etc
If he had poor sight would he expect him not to wear glasses, ditto hearing aid

What I am getting at is undoubtedly it's the stigma (which has to end) of his illness which is colouring his judgement. Perhaps your DH feels it reflects on him in some way.

Your soon needs help, don't leave it too late.

[JennyOnAPlate]

Sorry I posted too soon.

I did have counselling but without medication I wouldn't have even made it through the counsellors door.

for you and your son op, depression is a bastard of an illness.

[JennyOnAPlate]

I have no experience of a teen with depression, but have had depression myself (postnatal)

Depression when it is severe literally paralyses you. Telling me to cure myself through a healthy diet and exercise would have been akin to telling my 5 year old to perform brain surgery.

[SunshineAndShadows]

Medication in conjunction with behavioural therapy/counselling increases the chance of success. If your son is depressed then he has abnormally low levels of neurotransmitters in his brain. This is a physiological problem and can only be corrected by drug therapy. Just as pain can only be controlled by painkillers or infection by antibiotics.

Antidepresssants normalise the brain chemistry meaning that he'll be better able to interact, cope and learn to deal with his current challenges. It's very difficult to learn to cope when the brain isn't adequately functioning.

Medication supports success in coping

[Bluebell66]

My son was suffering from acute anxiety and severe depression earlier this year, as a result of losing his Dad to cancer. He also has Aspergers Syndrome. Our GP prescribed Flupentixol at my request, and the difference in him has been amazing. He is awaiting counselling, but as a result of the medication he is now able to function and attend university. I think it is incredibly short sighted and selfish of your husband to deny your DS the medication he clearly needs. If he was diabetic would he deny him insulin? Your Husband has probably never suffered from anxiety and depression. It is a living hell, and your poor DS needs help now. Why increase his suffering when medication is there to help him?

[sashh]

Please allow the meds.

If he had a broken leg you wouldn't deny him pain relief.

Looking back I was severely depressed as a teen, I made some really bad decisions because I though the problem was the people around me, I didn't get medication until my 30s and it has helped so much.

[mathanxiety]

Is your husband ashamed of his son?
Does he think his son isn't trying hard enough?

[mathanxiety]

I agree with Mrssmith.

'Natural healing' my arse.

[Seriouslyffs]

Thanks Pasanda
There's such a lot of stigma and misinformation around MH.

[pasanda]

My ds was 3 days post his 14th birthday when he took 2 over doses. Luckily (!) he had to go to hospital for the drip and because of this was seen by the 'Crisis' team. They got him an appointment a week later with the psychiatrist who wanted to prescribe him ad's but wasn't sure he had the will/initiative/want to tell us if he felt suicidal in the future.

He had a week to come up with a way of telling us (he couldn't say it outright, he decided to turn a picture frame in our house around if he felt bad) because the ad's can make some people feel more suicidal in the first few weeks of taking them. Only when she was satisfied that he could manage to tell us this way would she prescribe them.

Well, he's been on 20mg of fluoxetine since the end of May and is so much better. He still has depressive 'episodes' but manages them. He realises they are temporary, goes into himself and just wants to sleep. Before the ad's he would have self harmed or perhaps even taken another overdose. He also sees a private psychotherapist every week which he really needs to do.

Your dh needs to read this thread. Nobody wants their child to take such medication but sometimes it's what's needed to save their lives. Literally.

[NotMeNotYouNotAnyone]

Medication can give him the boost he needs to engage with other ways of helping like therapy and a healthy lifestyle. When you're lost in the depths of mental illness it's so hard to see a way out that you don't see the point of doing anything much, hopefully medication can raise him enough to get past this.

I have been taking ADs for years. When I foolishly decided to stop taking them suddenly and obviously then got worse from both the depression and withdrawal, my doctor compared it to a diabetic suddenly deciding they don't need insulin because when they're using it they feel okay, but that's because they do need it and when they stop they become ill.

[smileyforest]

True wannabe, saved my son from being 'sectioned' today as I strongly feel with increased professional care, shared care and support from myself and his Dad, I wanted that chance for him. But my mental health has been stretched to its limits, I'm taking time to care for myself now as I have some respite x

[wannabestressfree]

Please all be kind to yourselves. I didn't anticipate the affect DS1 being so mentally unwell would have on my mental health.... The watching, waiting and anticipating. The afffect on my sleep and well being. I am still not over it now and am forever worrying....

[Seriouslyffs]

Diesel I've purposely not researched until now. The link I found was about 3 deaths and written in 2003. And it leaps out to me that depressed teenagers are not exactly a reasonable control group!

[AndNowItsSeven]

I was very against medication for my dd she is 17 has been under psychiatric care since she was 15.
I accepted the psychiatrist advice however as my dd was very unwell and had taken five overdoses. No my dd takes Prozac and she is a different child. I feel like we have our daughter back.
I would however strongly advise against Seroxat/Paxil/ Paroxatine as it has been strongly linked to teen suicides.

[maybebabybee]

I'm reading that rarely these drugs can increase suicidal feelings . Is there any basis to this?

Everyone is different of course but my experience of ADs is that they make you feel worse before they make you feel better - you have to give them a good try and push through the shit bit, not expect them to work straight away.

Ultimately no one knows what is going to work until they try it. I couldn't get on with ADs myself because they made me feel like a zombie. But I have friends whose lives have been completely changed by them.

It is completely your DS's choice. Such a shit, shit illness. to him and you.

[CherryPicking]

I always felt similarly to your dh, before I had a terrible bout of depression myself. Without medication I'm not sure if be here today. However, it wasn't just the medication that saved me - it was joining a support group with CBT principles and realising I wasn't really alone.

[DieselSpillages]

That's my fear too footle If she bails out there's no knowing how he'll react. It's not made easier by the fact that he's not been home for 3 days staying with his girlfriend and his brother. I've spoken to him a few times and he seems "OK" but it's hard to know. I need to have a good talk with him when he is back tonight and get him to the doctor.

I'm reading that rarely these drugs can increase suicidal feelings . Is there any basis to this ?

[Seriouslyffs]

Footle
It's the elephant in the room, isn't it?
Diesel that's the line I took with myself (I'm the poster who internally took your husband's view). The stakes are so high. In the end I told my child, I'm ignorant here, let the HCPs take the lead.
One important thing to note is that SSRIs, which I'd be amazed isn't what's prescribed, won't put your DS in a drugged up state. They just don't work like that. DD describes them as giving her a sense of proportion and confidence that her low mood isn't going to spiral.

[Footle]

I would be very frightened of suicide, particularly when the girlfriend gets panicky about being clung to by this drowning young man and swims off to save herself. Your husband may be well-meaning but he has no idea what's at stake here.

[wannabestressfree]

Thanks seal :) it hasn't been easy but those 300 mile trips weekly seem a lifetime ago. He still has issues with work- has had ten different jobs in a year- but he is reasonably 'together'.....

[SealSong]

Wannabe I too remember your threads and we spoke a few times by private message (I had a different MN name). I'm so pleased to hear that your son is doing so well, that's really fantastic.

[hollinhurst84]

Not teen but anti d and beta blockers saved me when I was struggling with extreme panic attacks. I'm currently off the beta blockers and coming off citalopram
Had CBT and counselling too but the wait list was so long (18 months) I couldn't have coped without the medication