Severely depressed teen. DH against use of medication.

[DieselSpillages]

Ds 17 is having a terrible time with acute anxiety and depressive illness. We are waiting to see the psychotherapist and have seen the Dr and a private psychoanalyst. I feel it has reached a point where Ds would benefit from some medcation to help him function and not be in constant tears / panic mode. DH is really against this as he worries it will block his body from it's own natural healing and will just put Ds in a drugged up state.

Whilst I am totally in agreement that Ds needs to talk to a therapist , eat healthily , exercise etc. etc. I also believe it's reached a point where his suffering is so acute he's unable to help himself and could do with a helping hand to feel a little better in order to start to see a future for himself.

I am really struggling with DH's attitiude as he is not seeing the extent of Ds's suffering that I am witnessing. Friends who have suffered depression have said that medication really helped them. I'm not one to go rushing down the medicalised route but I believe drugs prescibed by a professional who knows their stuff can sometimes be life saving necessity. How can I help DH understand this ?

It's clearly really important for Ds that his parents are united so he can feel confident in his treatment.

The centre dealing wiith his case have advised me to fast track his treatment by taking him to hospital Emergency dept. where a psychiatric doctor could treat him sooner.(otherwise his appointment is not until December) We are not in the Uk.

Does anyone have a story of teen depression and antidepressants that I can share with Dh ?

[AdoraBell]

Has your DH seen your son when he is crying, ignoring friends and clinging to the GF? Could it be that he doesn't realise that DS needs help to manage from one day to the next?

Does he fully appreciate that depression isn't like a paper cut? The body can repair one but not the other.

I would take DS to the hospital as suggested and then get an appointment for your DH to talk with a Dr about depression and why ADs are used.

[3catsandcounting]

My DD18 has been on 25mg of Sertraline for 3 months now, and the change in her is amazing.
She went through college refusal, social isolation but clinging to boyfriend, anger, destructive behaviour and panic attacks.
My DH was very sceptical about ADs, but things were taken out of our hands over the summer when she went awol, and put herself in danger.
The police, GP and hospital were involved and gave her fantastic support, along with ADs and CBT.

You've had some great advice on here, OP, and a clear description of how ADs work.

I told my DD that when I took Sertraline many years ago, it just helped me to see things more clearly. Our brain is such a complex and powerful tool, how can we possibly control it at all times?
Good luck!

[DieselSpillages]

Thanks so much for sharing these experiences. It's really confirmed what I already felt. It's given me hope to hear how meds have helped lift people enough to start them on their their road to recovery.

[DieselSpillages]

The article about fishoil is interesting Hotter I've been dosing Ds with fish oil , magnesium and vit b's ..It's only been a couple of weeks , I'm still waiting to see any effect.

[HormonalHeap]

Wimpyarse I have a ds 15 who is depressed by as he is also addicted to gaming, this masks the depression. Do you mind me asking how bad depression has to be in a child of his age to be prescribed anti depressants?

[wannabestressfree]

I have a long thread on here about my son who spent nearly two years as an inpatient from age 14 due to severe depression, psychosis and an early diagnosis of schizoprehenia. Medication gave me my son back and now he is at sixth form age 18 and able to function....
It saved his life.....

[WimpyArseWanks]

DS1 (15) had a referral from CAMHs and they referred him to a psychiatrist and psychologist, he had an hour long meeting with the psychiatrist and he then decided DS needed Sertraline. Ds had lost all interest in school and it's good to hear him laughing away on x box live now.

[smileyforest]

Wannabe, read your threads, utterly amazing, but what a fight you had! I'm sure my son has aspergers. Adolescence has cértainly been 'hostile' for him and exacerbated hidden anxieties

[wannabestressfree]

Please message if I can help x

[hollinhurst84]

Not teen but anti d and beta blockers saved me when I was struggling with extreme panic attacks. I'm currently off the beta blockers and coming off citalopram
Had CBT and counselling too but the wait list was so long (18 months) I couldn't have coped without the medication

[SealSong]

Wannabe I too remember your threads and we spoke a few times by private message (I had a different MN name). I'm so pleased to hear that your son is doing so well, that's really fantastic.

[wannabestressfree]

Thanks seal :) it hasn't been easy but those 300 mile trips weekly seem a lifetime ago. He still has issues with work- has had ten different jobs in a year- but he is reasonably 'together'.....

[Footle]

I would be very frightened of suicide, particularly when the girlfriend gets panicky about being clung to by this drowning young man and swims off to save herself. Your husband may be well-meaning but he has no idea what's at stake here.

[Seriouslyffs]

Footle
It's the elephant in the room, isn't it?
Diesel that's the line I took with myself (I'm the poster who internally took your husband's view). The stakes are so high. In the end I told my child, I'm ignorant here, let the HCPs take the lead.
One important thing to note is that SSRIs, which I'd be amazed isn't what's prescribed, won't put your DS in a drugged up state. They just don't work like that. DD describes them as giving her a sense of proportion and confidence that her low mood isn't going to spiral.

[DieselSpillages]

That's my fear too footle If she bails out there's no knowing how he'll react. It's not made easier by the fact that he's not been home for 3 days staying with his girlfriend and his brother. I've spoken to him a few times and he seems "OK" but it's hard to know. I need to have a good talk with him when he is back tonight and get him to the doctor.

I'm reading that rarely these drugs can increase suicidal feelings . Is there any basis to this ?

[CherryPicking]

I always felt similarly to your dh, before I had a terrible bout of depression myself. Without medication I'm not sure if be here today. However, it wasn't just the medication that saved me - it was joining a support group with CBT principles and realising I wasn't really alone.

[maybebabybee]

I'm reading that rarely these drugs can increase suicidal feelings . Is there any basis to this?

Everyone is different of course but my experience of ADs is that they make you feel worse before they make you feel better - you have to give them a good try and push through the shit bit, not expect them to work straight away.

Ultimately no one knows what is going to work until they try it. I couldn't get on with ADs myself because they made me feel like a zombie. But I have friends whose lives have been completely changed by them.

It is completely your DS's choice. Such a shit, shit illness. to him and you.

[AndNowItsSeven]

I was very against medication for my dd she is 17 has been under psychiatric care since she was 15.
I accepted the psychiatrist advice however as my dd was very unwell and had taken five overdoses. No my dd takes Prozac and she is a different child. I feel like we have our daughter back.
I would however strongly advise against Seroxat/Paxil/ Paroxatine as it has been strongly linked to teen suicides.

[Seriouslyffs]

Diesel I've purposely not researched until now. The link I found was about 3 deaths and written in 2003. And it leaps out to me that depressed teenagers are not exactly a reasonable control group!

[wannabestressfree]

Please all be kind to yourselves. I didn't anticipate the affect DS1 being so mentally unwell would have on my mental health.... The watching, waiting and anticipating. The afffect on my sleep and well being. I am still not over it now and am forever worrying....

[smileyforest]

True wannabe, saved my son from being 'sectioned' today as I strongly feel with increased professional care, shared care and support from myself and his Dad, I wanted that chance for him. But my mental health has been stretched to its limits, I'm taking time to care for myself now as I have some respite x

[NotMeNotYouNotAnyone]

Medication can give him the boost he needs to engage with other ways of helping like therapy and a healthy lifestyle. When you're lost in the depths of mental illness it's so hard to see a way out that you don't see the point of doing anything much, hopefully medication can raise him enough to get past this.

I have been taking ADs for years. When I foolishly decided to stop taking them suddenly and obviously then got worse from both the depression and withdrawal, my doctor compared it to a diabetic suddenly deciding they don't need insulin because when they're using it they feel okay, but that's because they do need it and when they stop they become ill.

[pasanda]

My ds was 3 days post his 14th birthday when he took 2 over doses. Luckily (!) he had to go to hospital for the drip and because of this was seen by the 'Crisis' team. They got him an appointment a week later with the psychiatrist who wanted to prescribe him ad's but wasn't sure he had the will/initiative/want to tell us if he felt suicidal in the future.

He had a week to come up with a way of telling us (he couldn't say it outright, he decided to turn a picture frame in our house around if he felt bad) because the ad's can make some people feel more suicidal in the first few weeks of taking them. Only when she was satisfied that he could manage to tell us this way would she prescribe them.

Well, he's been on 20mg of fluoxetine since the end of May and is so much better. He still has depressive 'episodes' but manages them. He realises they are temporary, goes into himself and just wants to sleep. Before the ad's he would have self harmed or perhaps even taken another overdose. He also sees a private psychotherapist every week which he really needs to do.

Your dh needs to read this thread. Nobody wants their child to take such medication but sometimes it's what's needed to save their lives. Literally.

[Seriouslyffs]

Thanks Pasanda
There's such a lot of stigma and misinformation around MH.

[mathanxiety]

I agree with Mrssmith.

'Natural healing' my arse.