17 yr old won't go to college, won't get a job

[TuTru]

I've explained how poor we'll be if she doesn't do either. I've helped apply for jobs and apprenticeships but they don't want her as she failed maths. She needs to go to college and get that qualification but she just keeps saying no.
I just don't know what to do. Her father (who lives apart) has been helping to persuade her, and just when we think we've got through she just turns round & says no again. She's not even stupid, she's just obstinate.
There's been other problems with her this year, all the usual teenage crap, but this is really frustrating me. I can't afford for her to live here but do nothing. It's not like she ever helps round the house or watches the other 2 DC for me while I work.
So selfish!

Charming trout.

He's 16 - throw him out? I love him!

So how would you feel if you were fined because your 17yo obstinately refused to look for a job or go to school, Chinup? Just a bit disappointed, I guess.

Privately thinks any parent who wouldn't be furious is just plain weird.

Well after I posted yesterday I drove to the local college with her & she wasn't interested in any of the courses. None. But I said we'd look into the beauty therapy courses and I said if she didn't like it then she could leave as soon as she gets a full-time job. Well after some mood swings, and tears, we enrolled her. The staff at the college were encouraging and by the afternoon she actually said she was looking forward to starting even though she didn't want to go to begin with.
Now I need to find the money for all the kit she needs but I feel like this might work.
Part of the trouble is she's 18 next month and in her teenage mind that means she can leave education and "do what she likes" which isn't the case.
Her dad is onside but does keep buying her things whenever she asks, but we're going to see him today about the costs of the course so I might drop that into conversation. Thanks for everyone's replies, I found them reassuring, sometimes you just don't know whether you're being too harsh or too soft or what, hearing other ppls opinions really helps.
Anyway, hopefully she'll stick at the course and get a better Maths result too.
It's all better than laying in bed all day or sitting in the park smoking with your drop-out mates.

PS Her dad pays for her phone ????

Well done TuTru that's fantastic news. I hope your daughter enjoys it. You must be relieved.

hestertln I was a bit too.
Am so pleased A* hadn't come in at a level but even if they had...
Even if she means GCSEs it's a bit crazy! No one in my super high results grammar got more than 11 A* my year.

God it's been stressful. Just spent two hours at her dads listening to them bicker about every tiny little thing. So glad I'm not with him anymore.
I am quite relieved about this. I hope she enjoys it.
Sometimes I do wonder if she's depressed & that's why she's so unmotivated, but then I think teenagers can be like this anyway.
I have recurrent clinical depression which is managed now but I can't tell if she's depressed or just a regular moody teenage girl. Gotta say, her teen years have certainly been a strain, but I love her dearly.

In my experience the local college aren’t interested.

ZOMBIE THREAD from 5 years ago.

Hi there, sorry to put a message on Mumsnet - I don't know where else to go. My brother is 17 (I am in my 20s) and he's been acting out a lot. He smokes a lot, goes out without telling anyone and leaves all windows and doors open at night. He is causing my parents some serious distress as they are worried for his safety and what he might do next. He currently attends college but has been recently refusing to attend and hasn't handed in any work since he started. My parents have tried to take his allowance away but he becomes very aggressive and manipulative with them. He threatens them and plays music so loud that they cannot work from home. When my parents tried to get him to go to counselling (so that he had someone to talk to), he just refused. He's about to get kicked out of college for not attending or putting any effort in and my parents are worried that he will avoid getting a job. As he is still under 18, they are limited in what approach they can take. Has anybody experienced this? If so, any advice would be welcomed!!

It might be better for you to start a new thread @Loz2020, as this one is 7 years old.