Fashion advice in my late 30s

[BluntQuoter]

A bit of background... I'm a 37yo woman looking for some style advice. I have a very young face (not complaining about this but it is relevant!). I don't have kids and don't plan to have them, and I've recently gone back to university full time to do a PhD to develop my career in health tech.

I'm having a bit of a crisis of confidence as I think I'm maybe experiencing a bit of Peter Pan syndrome, and don't want to feel/look like I'm trying to cling onto being 21!! I don't think I have an issue with ageing, but I am very often mistaken for being much younger than I am, to the point of even being IDed sometimes (which is frankly ridiculous at my age). I don't think I dress like a teenager, but my style is quite casual and I think people take me less seriously as a result (exacerbated by being a woman in tech).

A typical outfit for me would be black trainers, straight leg jeans, a plain t-shirt and a nice cardigan. I always wear nice jewellery. My hair is long and while it's always clean and neat I don't bother to do much with it (half up in a pony or big clip is about my best effort). I walk a lot and pretty much always have a laptop with me on a day to day basis so wear a backpack (it's an ugly outdoors type one but very practical). When I don't have my backpack I will carry a nice handbag which makes me feel more put together. Recently I've tried to make sure I always wear a smart coat and umbrella rather than a raincoat. On scruffier days I do wear band t-shirts because I love music and go to a lot of gigs, I know this probably works against me but also does feel more like my natural style.

On nights out/special occasions when I put in effort I feel good and age appropriate, but I struggle with day to day wear. Particularly it's a bit tricky working in tech (so many scruffy men in cargo trousers and walking boots) and being back at university as a mature student (everyone is 22 and wearing athleisure) - I don't want to stick out like a sore thumb, but I also want to dress in an age appropriate way.

Has anyone got any tips on how I can upgrade my style a bit? I've tried googling but the internet basically just tells me to buy a blazer from Reiss which doesn't feel very me. Appreciate this is probably hard since you don't know me personally, but would also love to know how women my age/older have navigated changing style as they age and staying true to themselves :) any thoughts very much welcome!

I’m a similar age to you.

To be honest you don’t sound a million miles off, clothes-wise - it might be lack of self confidence that’s affecting how you come across. I know that’s not easy to fix, but it is something you can work on.

I do think well put together plain neutrals, worn with a few nice pieces of jewellery / accessories can help us as we get older. Work out what colours suit you - I wear quite a lot of cream and camel. Jeans should look in good condition and shouldn’t be distressed / have rips etc. Straight legged sounds fine - also experiment and see if wide or barrel legged suit you.

I would ditch the band T shirts and get a smarter backpack. Also, wearing decent belts, and doing some sort of French tuck with your top, can help to look more intentional.

You don’t have to wear makeup, but some good tinted moisturiser, blusher and lipstick can do wonders.

Thanks very much for this. I think confidence is definitely an issue and I am working on that. Just feel knocked a bit with a lot of life changes recently. Fashion feels like something I can control :)

Do you have any recommendations for where I can buy good neutrals/basics? I find this very hit and miss...

I would say that for the t shirts a scoop neck or v neck would probably help compared to a round neck or band t shirt.

I’m not 37, but I have had the experience of returning to academic life feeling a hundred years older than my peers and I agree it can be bit of a shock to the wardrobe. I would suggest thinking less about your age and more about what it is you want to convey via how you dress.

(Millions and millions of people love music and go to gigs, for instance - most of them don’t feel it’s the first thing they need to tell people in a professional or academic workplace. But oddly enough, as leisurewear I only really see them on people much older than you.)

I concur with the poster above that an upgrade in backpack might be a good start - there’s no reason why you need something ugly on your back. And while it’s true that everyone wears trainers, it is possible to walk from A to B in actual shoes! You could take a look at:

Grenson

for good looking, hard wearing shoes and boots that will make any outfit appear more considered and mature.

Obviously I don’t know the culture and mores of your institution but you might feel a little more grown up and powerful if you ditch the ‘nice cardigans’ in favour of a jacket. It does not have to be a blazer from Reiss! A new, pre-owned, or vintage suede jacket, cropped or oversize, depending on your preference, would make you look very different.

Places you might look - for shopping or just inspiration:

Community Clothing
Margaret Howell
Massimo Dutti
Vestiaire (for one or two high end pre-owned items)
YMC

Forgot to say - you will almost certainly lose weight in the first few months of your research life - so maybe focus most of your budget on accessories at first.

I think go a bit upmarket on your shoes. So Docs or Lanx… something as PP has said that is comfortable but hard wearing. Try Nordace for backpacks which are both practical and stylish. Also try collared shirts under cardigans or jumpers, and belts can really make a difference too.

Make sure what whatever style your hair is in it’s well cut. Tiny bit of easy makeup. NO hoodies! Decent watch. No carrier bags, find a foldable tote you love.

Thank you all, this is so so helpful 🙏

Also you're right about the weight loss which has partly prompted the crisis as I find a lot of my staple trousers etc really don't fit right any more and I need to get some new stuff. And tbh my old office wear doesn't feel right for university anyway. It's a very casual environment e.g. my supervisor (who by the way I suspect may even be younger than me) wears tracksuit bottoms in the lab...