Help me find my style at 60

[PuzzledObserver]

I have been overweight my whole life. Well, severely, obese, actually. At my biggest I was a size 28/30. Shopping was a painful necessity and I was always so relieved to find anything I could get into I would buy it and run away as quickly as possible.

That has changed. I have lost a ton of weight, and still losing, and now quietly confident that, this time, I am going all the way (lower carb real food and intermittent fasting, in case anyone wants to know)

in January I was wearing 24’s. Now I’m in 18’s, which opens up a huge number of places I can shop, and it’s a bit overwhelming. Given the rate of progress, I think it’s realistic to think of being in a size 14 by Christmas, and eventually a 12.

The thing is, I really have no sense of personal style. So how do I find one? Where do I even start? I have booked a personal stylist session at John Lewis for the beginning of September. But I thought it would be useful to look at some ideas beforehand, so looking for input about where to look.

I have (obviously) been hitting the shops recently. Balancing the need to actually have clothes that fit me with the desire not to go overboard too soon. I don’t want to spend big too soon, as I’m still expecting to shrink further. I am looking in charity shops regularly, so I can get stuff I need without breaking the bank. But also a few new items.

I’m very much a trouser wearer - not into skirts or dresses. For years, it’s been jeans in cool weather and loose linen or cotton trousers in warm weather. I’ve now expanded into chinos - but what other sort of trouser style should I think about? In terms of tops, I have about a million T shirts, but want to branch out a bit. I like bright colours, and also pastels. I don’t like frills and lace and fussy things. I am retired, so the need for smart clothes is only occasional. So I mainly want comfortable, relaxed stuff.

Point me in the direction of finding out who I am when it comes to clothes.

Do you have a library card? See if you can get the press reader app or similar via your library and go to town looking at fashion magazines to get a sense of what you like. The John Lewis stylist was what I was going to suggest but you're already all over it. Have a look on Vinted too, you can buy and sell clothes as your size changes. Congratulations on your progress.

Ooh, yes, @Magien I have PressReader. Any suggestions for titles to look at? I just types in Fashion and got several - from different countries, and all rather high fashion and for younger women. I’m not saying I want to dress like a Woman’s Own feature, but I’m looking more everyday clothes for ordinary women.

I think Woman and Home, Red etc has some good fashion features without being for teenagers and Press Reader has the back issues. Pinterest is good for making boards of looks you like, you can probably search like 50+ style or everyday style etc to get a variety of inuences. Also there are lots of Instagram accounts like mymidlifefashion and stylists so you can get a feel for what you like.

Wear dresses, you’ll love it with your amazing weight loss. I’ve lost just over 5 stone, I never wore a dress but I do now and I love it. Congratulations btw.

I'd suggest seasalt as a good place for fun, comfortable and relaxed clothes. They are good quality. I buy some from there and I'm in my 30s, and mum who is almost 70 likes it too.

You’ve done so well! Have a look at Who What Wear on instagram for basic looks, which are a bit like a uniform but look easy to wear and can be replicated on the high street. Less is more is a good mantra!

Congratulations! The only advice I can think of is not to go too crazy (tempting, I know!).
I went from a 24 to a 10 in the last couple of years and my style has def evolved, i am much braver with my choices now then i used to be.
Sales, charity shops and places like Vinted are brilliant for trying new things so have fun!

Congratulations on your amazing positive weightless this year.

I've lost some weight and am halfway to my target. I booked a colour analysis with colour me beautiful to as I was clueless about what did and didn't suit me. It's changed everything. I now know the colours to wear and those to avoid and she even covered simple age appropriate make up colours and application too. An investment in myself. Well worth it ! Any hopefully money saving in the long run.

I agree with the earlier suggestion of vinted to get used to playing with clothes and styles. Try and If you don't like it sell it back... be brave and experiment.

Also came on to suggest colour analysis. Also look fabulous forever for skincare/makeup but also clothes and hair inspiration. Well done 👍

I am a 10-12 and wear every sort of trouser, mostly from Cos, Plumo, Uniqlo and M and S.

Wide leg corduroy rather than jeans in winter
Parachute or cargo trousers in summer rather than chinos
Barrel leg
Carrot
Straight leg

If I were you, I would go to a mall or big store and try them all on in person to see what suits you.

Hmm, well this is going to be a non-trivial task, I can see that.

Just had a few days in London and I went shopping (well, trying on with no intention of buying) on Oxford Street. I deliberately picked some things I wouldn’t normally try.

One thing that is abundantly clear is that some items just look completely wrong on me, including some which looked lovely on the hanger. I can’t define how, they just do.

The other thing is I have tried some of the suggestions above. Have looked at magazine fashion articles via PressReader. And my overwhelming response to most of the pictures is that they do not look like something I would want to emulate. In some cases, they look ridiculous. And I tried to look at instagram. I do have an account, but have basically never used it, so maybe that’s why - but I have tried clicking on articles that say things like the top 5 items you need for Autumn, and I can’t make it show anything other than the front picture. I guess that means I don’t know how to use instagram.

I’ve had an email from the style consultant asking about what colours I like/don’t like and also whether I like to wear prints and florals. Answered those. Her other question was which celebrity’s style I like. I have no idea. I don’t follow celebrities. And I don’t think of myself in the same breath as someone who has unlimited money, professional advice, an extensive grooming regime etc.

I may just be a difficult client.

Hmm …

Firstly, no one who enjoys clothes or shopping would go anywhere near Oxford Street.

Secondly, if you haven’t habitually been looking for fashionable clothes at the size you are now (and potentially even smaller) it will take a bit of time to ‘get your eye in’. Fashion spreads, in magazines and even on instagram, are necessarily quite heightened and exaggerated - but that doesn’t mean they aren’t showing everyday clothes for ordinary women. You’re just not accustomed to interpreting those images and applying what you see to your own shopping.

We’re fortunate to live at a time when even ‘ordinary women’ of every age have almost limitless choice in how they dress (if they can find what they want in their size). You may feel inclined to dismiss unfamiliar styles as ‘ridiculous’ - but I’d suggest you just take your time. Get used to all the new possibilities opening up to you. Personal style is something that evolves over decades. There’s no rush.

I'd say I get most inspiration from real people on the street. Do you ever see people wearing things that appeal to you? An overall look or just the colours, shapes, fabrics?

I think it definitely takes a while to get your eye in, especially if you change shape and suddenly realise there are all sorts of clothes out there you could wear. I get a bit overwhelmed with magazines too but I look at clothes brands which have a lifestyle element to them and you can see the clothes being worn. Poetry is a good one (although may not be your aesthetic at all). Seasalt is another one. There are probably more. Have a look at silhouettes that you like and the bit of you that you want to show off (boobs/arms/waist/leg/whatever). I'm sure the JL stylist can help; I think focusing on shapes is a good way to start. Colours and patterns can come next.

that some items just look completely wrong on me, including some which looked lovely on the hanger. I can’t define how, they just do.

Colour and style analysis fixed this for me. Ideally find a consultant through personal recommendation, as some can be very much more helpful than others.

The principles are very simple, just for most people quite tricky to see for yourself. The lady who did mine started with good necklines for me, then working through the rest of an outfit. Once you understand how the rules apply to your own body , you will get really really good at spitting what works for you and what doesn't.

Lots of women seem to learn how to do this by themselves (looking at you, my mother and sister). I had to learn by rote but absolutely have the hang of it now. Can spit at a glance what will work for me and what ... doesn't.

Congratulations, Good luck and importantly, enjoy the process of finding out.

Thanks all for the responses, some good ideas/points there.

I’ll be leaving for my appointment in less than half an hour. I’m excited! I even did some trying on last night, and decided I’m going to go wearing one of my more stylish recent outfits rather than jeans/chinos and T-shirt. So I’ll be wearing a pair of tailored dark gray straight leg trousers, a blue shirt with exotic birds on it (think kingfisher colours), and my heeled black ankle boots. Only 1” heels, but a bit more glam than flats.

I like the blog- That’s Not My Age- for really nice ideas on clothes and makeup etc for over 50s. I think she is really stylish.

Pinterest is also a good place to find stylish women.

I feel it’s about five years too late for That’s Not My Age! It used to be pretty much the only style blog I could tolerate (though a bit middle of the road for me) but then it became something where the best content was via paid for subscription and it was all ‘promotions’ and guest editors and instagram …

I've been following this thread op, not really sure what to say by way of advice because I think the most important thing is to find your own style and that takes time and probably lots of mistakes along the way. What matters most (in my opinion) is the ride and the fun you have along the way. You sounded quite anxious about it all before so I'm glad you're feeling excited today.

The only bloggers / instagram accounts I follow regularly are fashion and costume historians. Even if you're not interested in the topic (I think it's fascinating) seeing some of the outlandish things we used to wear - women and men - really helps you get over that 'I can't possibly wear that!' feeling.

I also watch people and what they wear all the time and get lots of ideas that way even though I don't live anywhere very fashionable. And if you see someone wearing a great outfit, be sure to stop and tell them so and ask where it's from.

Re magazines, I do enjoy a bonkers Vogue fashion shoot but it's all very heightened. If you're looking for a short cut - the key looks for this season kind of thing, I think you could do a lot worse than the Grazia or Hello fashion specials which they do every couple of months.

OP Hope you enjoyed your John Lewis appointment.
I agree with previous poster who says that people watching is very useful. It can help you think about what styles you like the look of, and also think about why - in your opinion - they do or don't suit the people who are wearing them, and whether they might suit you.

Also - you mention comfort in your original post - I think that the 'best' clothing is the stuff that works for the life you actually lead. To take rather an extreme example - I live in a place where it rains a lot, is muddy/snowy/icy according to season, the country roads are rough and potholed, where many people keep livestock and where many others are into hill-walking or other outdoor sports. So even the young mothers at the school gate mostly wear narrow jeans or jeggings or walking trousers, usually with boots or rather practical trainers. (Wide droopy trousers, floaty dresses or heeled shoes would be totally impractical. ) And they have warm and/or waterproof coats or jackets. Most people here, of most ages, wear similar gear. There are youthful versions, tourist versions (head-to-toe from mountain clothing stores), arty versions (lovely artisan knits, hats, a bit of velvet etc) and 'county' versions (Barbour or Schoffel or similar, and perhaps a bit of tweed). It might be an idea to think about what would work for your surroundings and for the activities you do.

I think this is a big challenge OP because you’re starting from scratch with a new body as it were. I think it’s easy to rush off buying without putting the thought into all the factors like lifestyle. My recommendations are a couple of books and one influencer who focuses on individual style and not trends. The books are The Curated Closet by Anuschka Rees and the second is more recent Wear it Well by Allison Bornstein. Allison has championed the Three word method of defining your own style and has lots of videos online. The other influencer I like is Jennine Jacob who concentrates on confidence building - she has a programme you can buy which seems very affordable but she has a ton of free content on Instagram. Good luck…

Some great suggestions upthread - I think it boils down to:
Colours
Your figure - eg pear shaped, apple etc
Your lifestyle
Then figuring out a kind of "uniform" so everything in the wardrobe starts to work together.
eg - trousers/top/jacket/shoes - and have your own variation of this.

For me it would be:
Wide legged trousers
V-necked top
single breast blazer
Trainers

Then:
Flared jeans
Scoop neck tee
Longline cardi
Stompy ankle boots

etc and so on, with colours that work together and different fabrics with the necklines and styles that flatter my figure.

Good luck! This is exciting!

Well, I’m back and I’m exhausted.

The first boost was that the first two items I tried on were jeans (one pale blue, the other black), both from Hush and both size 16. I asked if she’d picked the wrong size up by mistake (I’d told her I’m an 18) and she said No, that Hush tend to come up quite generous. And she was right. But over the time, I had to send her back several times for smaller sizes in other items (and not just Hush things either).

All the trousers she’d brought were wide legs. Really wide. And try as I might, I just can’t like them. Also, I was taking pictures and sending them to my sisters, and they universally agreed that the wide legs looked big on me, they preferred me in the straight leg tailored grey trousers I’d gone in! There was one pair I quite took to, which were loose, wide legged and animal print. But they were essentially summer trousers. So I didn’t buy.

There were a few surprising items (as in, I would not have picked them out for myself) which I did like and looked good on me. A denim dress and a patterned jumpsuit. But they were very definitely summer clothes, so it’s a No (for now). To be revisited.

There were several items/looks which are (apparently) really in, like a skinny knitted waistcoat over a loose shirt. But I just couldn’t like them. Ditto a few things with bows and frilly bits.

There were a few items of knitwear I liked, but I’m not prepared to pay £130 for a cardigan which I will only wear for one season. So they stayed on the rail.

In the end, I came away with: a nice black top with a slot neckline and a couple of gold buttons; a rust coloured linen vest plus an oversized linen striped shirt to go over it; and a fairly basic shaped V necked white T shirt in a semi-transparent fabric, with a camisole to go under it. Also I have a plan to find a knitting pattern for something similar to the sea green cardigan, and make my own for probably 1/3 the price.

And then I looked round a couple of charity shops and have scored a pair of burgundy coloured skinny cord jeggings, a plain red long-sleeved T shirt, a bright blue cotton shirt, a patterned scoop-neck top in shades of blue and purple and a multi-coloured cardigan with big buttons.

Now to work out how to combine those with what I already have into sensible outfits, and address some of the holes left in my Autumn wardrobe. Another pair or two of trousers which are not jeans are a possible, some knitwear, maybe a coat.

Sounds like you had a productive day!
Have you looked at Brax trousers? I tend to live in the Carole and Mary styles, which come in a lot of different materials and shades, wear and wash well as well as being capable of being dressed up or down.
My winter uniform tends to be a pari of Brax cord or velvet trousers and a cashmere polo neck, generally in the same colour with opportunities to spruce up via jewellery, a scarf or a gilet/jacket or waistcoat.