Advice for someone trying make-up for the first time at almost 48…

[AprillaCourt]

Other than a bit of clear mascara and clear lip gloss in my early twenties, I’ve never worn make-up. I’ve never had the confidence and whenever I’ve tried I just think I look ridiculous/like a pantomime dame/not like me at all. This isn’t just because I can’t apply make-up well - though that may also be true. But whenever I’ve had make-up applied at Bobbi Brown/Mac or similar I have the same feeling, that it’s just not me and I can’t carry it off.

I’m Autistic (long standing secure diagnosis) and I think that’s part of the problem - I’m highly colour sensitive & that means that no foundation looks right on my skin to me.

However, at almost 48 I’ve decided this is the next thing in my life that I want to conquer. When I’ve been out for a day recently I’ve looked at myself in the mirror and despite the fact that I’m wearing well cut clothes, have good classic accessories, my hair nicely coloured and my skin properly looked after, my non-made up face lets me down, and I set off out of the house feeling unfinished.

One make-up artist told me years ago that I needed to get used to seeing myself in make-up, and I think she was right. So I’ve bought some ludicrously cheap stuff and have just been having a play around with it at home, hoping I might hone a technique. I don’t think it’s looking too bad, and my good friends seem to think it looks great. So now I’m looking at investing some money in products and whilst I appreciate there will be a significant element of trial and error and I do have money to spend to get it right, it all seems rather too expensive to make too many mistakes.

To complicate things, one quality beauty line told me I’m a cool and one told me I’m neutral to warm…to me the cooler shades look better, anything too warm and it appears to me at least to be too orangey. My wrist veins are fairly blue, and I think I look better with yellow gold (which I never wear) than the platinum that I do. Hair is dark blonde made lighter thanks to Aveda, eyes are greeny/hazel, I look good in browns and moss greens (which is why I always wear black, white and navy 🙄)

One issue I’ve found is that foundation and concealer & foundation cake around my nose and under my eyes. The skin under my eyes is very saggy and has been since I was a child. I’d say my skin is quite dry at this stage of my life, but it’s well looked after with good products. I moisturise well and exfoliate regularly. Would I be best looking for a good primer? I’m not a Clinique fan but I tried their new Even Better Pore Defying Primer in a store recently having seen people recommend it online and that seemed good. I wasn’t impressed with the Benefit one that also came out top in online reviews (though I appreciate I’ve only tried them in stores.)

I think I’m looking for something like: a good primer, concealer, foundation. I have a brown mascara which even I can see looks good, the same with a Bobbi Brown lip tint so I’m not looking for lipstick. I think I’ll leave blush/eyeshadow and so on for when I’m more confident. At this stage it’s about getting the basics right.

Apologies for the long post - I didn’t want to miss anything that might lead to the wrong advice being given. This is something that has bothered me and brought me down for over 30 years. if anyone can give me the benefit of their expertise I’d be very grateful 🙂

Hi OP. I think you should go to one of the make-up counters in a store like House of Fraser as an exmple and talk to someone there, explain your sensitivities and ask for a makeover. This way the make up will be applied properly and you will get advice from someone who is trained to understand the make up she is applying/selling.

When I follow advice to the letter, I always get compliments from friends.

It's quite a lot if you're not used to make up. but it is gold standard.

Otherwise, for daily use, I'd mix a bit of tinted moisturiser with your usual moisturiser for coverage. Go for bold eye or bold lips, not both.

Don't forget your brows. Don't overdo them, but some light brown brow mascara or pencil will make a big difference.

Get a pack of q-tips to refine, blend and get rid of mistakes. I put on makeup quite clumsily and then refine it with q-tips.

No one has to wear make up. And you don’t have to wear it to ‘conquer’ some nebulous fear!

My first bit of advice would have been to avoid cheap products - but I see it’s too late for that. (Only because in my experience there’s always a compromise in quality. Mascara that sheds itself over your face; lipstick that dries out lips for days … )

But yes, a good make up counter (pre-Covid Tom Ford worked for me) and plenty of time is your best bet. Maybe just try a couple of products at a time.

Tbh your current grooming sounds lovely! During lockdowns I missed the gesture of putting on lipstick before leaving the house. (Along with a final spray of perfume.) You may find that it only needs a touch of red or even nearly colourless lipstick to make you feel finished. Or maybe some attention paid to your eyebrows? All I’m saying is you probably don’t need to switch precipitately to a full face.

At 48, seriously my advice would be to leave it alone.

I've attempted to get into makeup many times but although I can do it, I don't like the feel of it on my skin and can never muster the enthusiasm to do it every day.

Loads of women don't wear makeup.

You sound very similar in colouring to me and I would recommend erborian cc creme in possibly ‘Clair’ shade (but try first) which is incredibly light but just smooths you out a bit. Then maybe a cream blusher on the apples of your cheeks and some mascara and you should look reasonably ‘finished’ without compromising looking natural. I love make up but have to desire to look like I’ve got tons on. The cc creme also provides a little uv protection.

I think you probably could do with a primer if your skin is quite dry (although keep working on that - a hyularonic serum at the very least will make a huge difference. I'm also a huge fan of vitamin c serums as they really do brighten the face).

I like the Bobbi Brown Vitamin Enriched face base - but it's a bit marmite, so ask for a sample before committing to the expensive full size pot.

Have you invested in some decent make up brushes and sponges? I have been a iittle shocked at the difference it makes to applying make up. I can't believe I ignored the recommendations for brushes and sponges for so long.

For foundation, if you don't usually wear foundation, go for something very sheer and light. Both Mac and Bobbi Brown do lovely light foundations that I've like a lot. I often mix them with the face base for an even lighter effect - almost tinted moisturiser - or I put a little on with my fingers, smoothing it over and then buff it up with a sponge. I would go to the counter and get them to help you select the colour. I find Bobbi Brown better and more consistent with their people personally, but that could just be me.

If you are using foundation, you do need a little blush though I think as even a very sheer foundation will even out your skin tone so much you start to look like a doll. You might find a cream blush better and easier - I use a cheapo one from Revolution a lot of the time and it's super easy - I apply, blend with a brush and done.

My favourite concealer is also a Revolution one but I can't seem to get hold of it. I'm using an Elf one at the moment which is good but is a bit more liquidy.

Thanks for replying everyone 🙂

@Softoprider I have been to make-up counters as I say, but always left feeling like I didn’t look like me. I think the recent regular practice has changed that though - I’m starting to know what I look like in make-up - so I think I’ll be more psychologically open to it next time I try. I don’t have much more than Clinique/Clarins/Benefit/Estee Lauder nearby but I’m in London next week & am going to do the Chanel/Mac/Bobbi Brown thing again.

Thanks @SoWhatEh that sounds great, I’ll watch that later. I’ll also remember the q-tip tip 😀 And I’ll remember to choose eyes or lips (though I’m some way off boldness I think!)

@SurpriseSparDay I know it’s not compulsory to wear make-up, but at the grand old age of 48 I’m ready to try. I want to not just look but feel more pulled together. The cheap products were so I could literally practice application techniques, neither they nor I have left the house 😄 Whilst I can see that this might be imperfect if the formulations aren’t very complex, it’s still been a good way to give me the chance to get used to what I look like with some make-up - any make-up - on my face. I think you’re absolutely right about not needing a full face, and actually just focusing on a couple of areas makes such a difference. I can then build up from there.

Thanks @AnnaMagnani but I feel ready to try, and I’ve surprised myself by how much I’ve enjoyed playing about with it.

Thanks @Bilingualspingual I’ll look those up - you’ve nailed it with wanting to look both finished and natural.

@OhBling I don’t use a hyaluronic serum at the moment, just a Decleor oil, but this has been mentioned to me several times so I need to get onto it. I have some Liz Earle brushes I bought a few years ago, and have bought some sponges on the advice of a friend. I found brushes easier for foundation but the sponges much better for concealer. I’d agree, of all the counters I’ve tried over the years Bobbi Brown was the best. I’ll remember that about blush - I can see how I would look too ‘porcelain’ - thank you.

@AprillaCourt The Ordinary do a range of serums that are cheap and cheerful and remarkably effective so maybe see if there's a local stockist to you or buy online.

Good luck with your London trip and make up counters. Also, don't be embarrassed to tell them that you want very subtle, light make up. Their job is to help you get what YOU want and they can do that better if they understand what you're looking for.

Maybe try getting a last tint and lift? This plus a tinted moisturiser, tinted lip balm and a little cream blush will enhance a little but not over complicate anything

Fellow autistic person here.

For the foundation clumping issue, your solution is two fold.1 is moisturising every day. I like boots hyaluronic acid..v good, v reasonable cost. Follow with finding like cerave. Then you want a primer. Rimmel do a great one in a white tube with blue lettering .screen something. Put that on, let it sit for 5 mins then foundation on top.

A good foundation should disappear on your face but make it look smooth. Nars or Estée Lauder would be my pick.

If you don't like the feel of lipstick, try benefit lip tint. It's a stain more than a lipstick. No waxy feeling. You can add a dab of vaseline if you like. I put this on cheeks too.. Makes a huge difference.

I like to use powder for eyeliner.. Just dark eyeshadow applied with a narrow brush. Less fiddly than liquid and you can control how much you want on better.. But it makes you look more awake.

If it's all too much maybe try adding one thing at a time so you gradually get used to it.

Oh, if you’re London-bound, this is what you need! A visit to Cosmetics a La Carte, where they’ll show you how to make up your face, with only the products that suit you. (At least that’s what they did when I last visited - rather a long time ago.)

Have a look at Trinny London. I had a lovely consultation at Fenwick, and I like the blendability of everything. Also the BFF serum gives a nice “no makeup” feel to me, and has replaced wearing foundation most of the time.

@OhBling Yes you're absolutely right, I'll be clear about what I'm looking for. Thank you 🙂

Hello @EauNeu 👋🏻 I've really thought I moisturise enough - I use good products such as Decleor, Elemis, oils & balms etc & whilst my skin has a tendency to be dry because of my age I don't feel dryness IYKWIM. I think perhaps hyaluronic acid is the next step. I like the Bobbi Brown lip tint I have, that's the one thing I know works - it's very subtle. I think definitely starting small is the best approach 🙂

@SurpriseSparDay I think I remember Cosmetics a La Carte from years ago!

@Itsthecatsfault I have heard tell that Trinny is a good range to consider - thanks 🙂

Make up masterclass online with Bobbi Brown or if you can book a 1 to 1 make up lesson with someone professional and does light make up for older clients would be good, let them know you have autism.

I had the warm cool palaver with my own skin in the end seasons helped. I think you sound like a Soft Autumn.

I think don’t focus too much on heavy skin products like foundation/concealer but more on brightening with cream blush or lightweight serum base products like Charlotte tilbury hollywood filter on your cheekbones and tip/bridge of your nose.

honestly, blusher is a game changer. A small dab of liquid or cream on your cheeks will freshen your whole face. As we age, heavy products will naturally sit and find their way into creases and fine lines. Well groomed brows can really enhance the face shape also. I like lining the inner corner of the top lids only, quite a fine sharp pencil line. It opens my eyes up. Lining the lower lash line can be a bit hit or miss/too heavy on a lot of women, particularly if you’re not going for a full look.

A peachy/coral blush would be next on my shopping list, brow pencil/gloss and a good hydrating lip oil.

Also if you are experiencing dry skin or make up not sitting quite so well, do you drink plenty of water?

Exfoliating is really important to allow the oils and moisturisers you’re using to actually connect with your skin smoothly, not sitting on top of a rough/dry barrier. Stay away from physical exfoliants like granulated scrubs and look into chemical exfoliants like AHA/BHA products, gently at first.

Vitamin C is also good for brightening and creating the best possible canvas, as well as reducing sun damage.

The most low key way of starting out would be:

• creamy under eye concealer pen
• brown gel mascara
• pink tinted vaseline on your lips

I'd say tinted moisturiser (boots no 7), cream blush and mascara. You can also have your eyelash line tattooed on so it actually emphasises your lashes without people being aware that you've had it done, it's very subtle but effective. I recommend Trinny eye products because they are so easy to blend.

Marking as am crap with makeup too.

Might you like a tinted moisturiser? Boots no.7 is nice, not heavy, has SPF, doesn't cake, gets you feeling 'I'm wearing makeup today' and you may find the result enough for you.

Avoid under eye concealer and the big highlight triangle you'll see on younguns on you tube and tiktok. Instead just a tad on inner and outer corners.

When you've done your lippie, rub in with your finger then pat and run lightly over cheekbones too. A lovely together look, not heavy.

Angie @angiehotandflashy on Insta does great tutorials for mature faces

Glossier is worth a look - it never looks overdone. The stretch concealer is very blendable, covers dark circles and blemishes and you might not need much else on your skin. Cloud paint cream blush. Boy brow brow gel. A nice soft lip colour.

Lip balm with a bit of cool red lipstick dotted on. Makes it transparent, not too strong. Bit of face powder lightly brushed on with fluffy brush and natural blush is a nice look. Evens out skin tone adds a freshness without looking made up. 🙂

🤔🤔🤔

I’ve not worn make-up for 25 years. My daughter has other ideas

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/87b48e06-88c6-40d7-9f5a-e9aac579d163?shareToken=4bbef686ff2431f9c1510a3a006f26dc

I think foundation is always a bit tricky. Can so easily sit on the skin and be mask like especially as you get older and it settles in lines. I never know exactly who foundation is for as it's not great on young skins either. I hate that feeling of something sitting on the skin and the thicker it is the more it's got to be a dead on match. I guess with that the issue is what are you trying to conceal and can you fix it (your skin) rather than trying to cover it? I agree with pps that you want a very sheer product just to give some glow. My pick would the Nars tinted moisturiser.