Can anyone walk me through hairdressers please?

[Sprogonthetyne]

OK, I'll admit this sounds ridiculous but I'm neurodiverse, so get very anxious if I don't know what's going to happen and don't know where to start. Can someone just give me a step by step of what will happen and what I need to say when?

For background, I was never taken as a child/teen as my mum liked long hair on kids and was generally skint anyway, so I just never learned how it works. Then when I moved out I didn't how to go about getting a hair cut, so just kept long hair. About 5 years ago I plucked up the currage to go, it was awful and I ended up looking terrible so I haven't been since, though that may well have been my fault for not knowing what to ask for.

Anyway I'm now back to having long hair in more or less the same style I've had since I was 4, and that I've never really liked. I want it to be short-ish/ shoulder length max, but easy to maintain because I also don't really know anything about styling it at home.

How do I book if I don't already have a hairdresser?

What type of cut/appointment do I ask for, there's different ones on price lists

Do I need to name a style? And if so what?

Anything else there likely to ask me?

Please can someone help

Try and find a local independent one if you can, the big chains have complex prices and the salons busy and potentially overwhelming... ask on Facebook for local recommendations.

Google the styles/ cuts you like and take the images in then listen to what they advise as they may make alternative suggestions based on your hair type.

Do you have a friend of relative you can ask to suggest their hairdresser? I had to switch salons a few years ago because my long-term hairdresser was moving away, and I asked her to suggest someone. I was surprised that she suggested a completely different salon rather than a colleague!

Here’s what I did:

Looked up the salon on instagram to get a feel for the sort of cuts my now hairdresser did and if they were right for me
Sent a DM asking if he was taking on new clients - then booked an appointment
Popped in past on a quiet day and had a chat with him before my appointment
On the day of the appointment I told him I was quite nervous because I had been going to the previous salon for over ten years - I think he was glad I was honest!

I have quite a sharp cut so I go every five weeks, and I always book in for the next appointment as I leave. Most places have online booking if you are more comfortable with that though.

Please don't worry, once you know what to do it won't seem so daunting.

I agree with PP about choosing a hairdresser. Personal recommendation is best. Then just ring up and say you'd like to book.

I presume you want a cut and blow dry, work out roughly how much you want cutting off and when you make the appointment tell them you want to go shorter so they can work out how much time you'll need.

When you arrive, the hairdresser will sit you down, talk about what you want, discuss what type of hair you have and if it will suit the styles you like, before sending you off to get your hair washed. Take pics to aid the hairdresser but don't expect to look exactly like the photo when finished and remember some photos might look very casual but are really artfully styled.

Then you sit back, enjoy a coffee or tea and come out looking fantastic!

Best of luck OP.

I'm in a new area and went to a well known chain and got the top stylist - whoa worse haircut in memory!
Got a recommendation and just booked a cut and blow dry.
A pic helps, but try and choose one that has similar hair texture to yours.
Once you have a chat, off to get hair washed, then back in chair with stylist. After it all, she will show you the results and you can say 'another inch off' or whatever, but hopefully you'll be pleased. I tip the stylist about 10%, if another girl washed about £2 for her.

Look on instagram for local hairdressers and really take time to look at their post to check if your styles resonate. Check facebook reviews for any potentials. Get on pinterest and type in shoulder legnth hair inspo and make a board of some that you like. Go to the hairdresser of your choice and ask for a consulation before your appointment, this is a five min chat with your stylist for you to show her the pics of what you would like. Be firm and clear with your expectation and dont feel bad for saying no to any suggestions they make that you dont like the sound of, you wont offend them, this is just their job and they need to know what you want exactly. Youre best choosing a simple style that doesnt take loads of styling, make sure you day this to them that you havent got lots of time to style at home so needs to look good just drying normally etc.

Poor you, I'm so sorry you feel so anxious about it. Although I get it, it's bloody scary going to a new hairdresser.

Im a hairdresser, do you have Treatwell? It's an app for finding local hairdressers/beauticians etc. it's great as you can read reviews and book online etc. not sure if it's more London/big city based as friends in rural areas don't know it.

I personally would find a salon you like the look of and ask if you could go in for a consultation, (you get contact numbers/email addresses on Treatwell). It should be free and then ask about your options. Take in some pics, try to describe what you're struggling with and what you like/dislike, the stylist should give you options and then if you feel comfortable you can book in. I always have new clients emailing with pics asking to discuss first, it's fine, it's very very common. Sometimes with a long list of do's /don't!
A good hairdresser wouldn't ever judge and would do their best to understand your worries, explain in easy language and make you feel comfortable.just tell them that you find it hard to explain!

I'm sorry because I know there are an awful lot of rubbish hairdressers out there! If you are still unsure book in for a blow dry and get a feel of the place and their work before you commit to a cut. Then I'd suggest booking a restyle, that way the hairstylist should have extra time allocated and then there's no pressure on you or them time wise.

I would definitely say pay as much as you can afford, in my 40 years experience, more expensive doesn't necessarily always mean a better haircut but generally it means a longer booking slot and a more experienced stylist. It's a minefield I know but I can tell you now that if I am working for a chain and getting minimum wage I am not going to go home worrying that your service wasn't completely spot on. Definitely go with an independent, well established salon and avoid the chains with a bunch of 20 year olds huddled around reception bitching about everyone!

If you lived in london I would do it for you! I pride myself on my customer service and making people feel good!

Good luck!

You have had lots of great advice above but if all those suggestions are too much for your first time you could contact a mobile hairdresser, explain your situation if you are happy to and they can come to your house and cut your hair instead of loud salon which may be overwhelming.

Still have a few photos if it helps but it soulds like you want a hair cut similar to mine, shoulder length and low maintenance. I currently have mine all one length as it gives a sleeker look but can still go in a ponytail. Sometimes I add a side fringe or layers which gives the hair more movement.

The great thing about hair is it grows so if you keep it around shoulder length and you don't like it it's reasonably easy to fix.

If you decide to go to a hair salon ask for last or first appointment of the day, or whatever is quietest, and you may not feel so overwhelmed.

There's been some really good advice here, especially about having the first or last haircut when the salon is quieter.

Also ND, I have a script for visiting the hairdresser (I manage it twice a year).

1. I book online for a cut and blow dry, then I don't have to ring up. There are different levels of hairdresser, so you can choose the one that suits your price point. I usually go for a senior stylist.
2. On the day I arrive at the reception and wait until the receptionist is free (often they're on the phone and won't hear you if you start talking to them) and say I've booked an appointment with <name of hairdresser>
3. The receptionist usually ask you to take a seat in reception and then your hairdresser will come and introduce themselves and take you to their station (the seat and mirror). Or sometimes the hairdresser will be waiting for you at reception. They may want to put one of those protective gown things on you before you sit down, or they may do it just before you go and have your hair washed.
4. They talk to you about what you want. I usually say: how much I want cut off (e.g. a couple of inches), if I want layers, if I want a fringe and show them a photo. You can also bypass a chat if you just show them the photo first and say "like this". They might ask you a couple of questions about your hair 'routine' (mine is wash and go). Ask them for something easy to do yourself at home.
5. Then they take you to get your hair washed. This is done mostly by a junior, they will shampoo/condition hair and sometimes do a head massage - if you don't like it you just tell them to stop. You don't usually need to talk to the junior unless you want to. At the beginning they might ask you about the water temperature (is it too hot or cold). Then they put a towel around your head and take you back to the chair where your hairdressers will start the cut.
6. If talking is difficult, take a book with you and say you're going to read - that's fine.
7. The blow drying comes after the cut, generally it's loud so they don't try and talk to you at this bit 😁
8. At the end they make eye contact with you in the mirror (generally), maybe spray it with shine spray or hairspray or something and you can say you like it...if you do! Then you go to reception and pay, and you're free!
9. Good luck! Happy to answer any more questions.

1. pick a salon
2. phone up or maybe popping in is easiest
3. ask them when they have an appointment coming up. If you work tell them which days you are free
4. ask to book a "restyle" cut and blow dry (they allow longer in the diary for a restyle so it costs a bit more the first time.
5. there are different levels of experience you need to choose either a stylist (bit of experience), or a senior stylist (more experienced) or they have other confusing grades like art director or salon director/manager. If you can afford it ask for a senior stylist they are usually good at restyles bec they've had lots of clients.
6. turn up 5-10 min before
7. someone will put a gown on you (they will offer to take your bags etc to the cloakroom but you can keep if you prefer)
8. usually someone will show you to a chair and the stylist will come over to ask what you want. You can say "I don't know I haven't been to a salon for five years - something shoulder length and easy to style." Show them a picture if you want
9. someone will take you to the sinks and wash your hair
10. your stylist will cut and the. Blow dry your hair. They might do more layers after it's dry. 10 go to the till and pay sometimes people give up to 10% as a cash tip but it depends on the area

Sorry cross post with inthemane as I was typing

Good luck OP, I hope you find somewhere that you are comfortable with.

I'm not sure if I am ND or not but I find hairdressers similarly stressful, even when I've been lots of times before. I can't hear properly to chat with all the background noise so it's awkward. Only for my terrible grey roots and thick hair I wouldn't go at all. I almost prefer the dentist.

And definitely say I'm ok I don't need a head massage if you don't like it. They usually say would you like a head massage and you can say yes please or no thank you. Lots of people say no. I always say no because I can't stand it if they are too gentle and tickly

Am NT but hate having my head fiddled with. Reading all this has reminded me why I always have my hair cut at home, can't stand the whole salon thing! So I'd recommend that route OP.

Oh I get this completely OP, I could have written your post a year or so back! So first I did loads of research, read reviews for loads of different local places and asked on my local FB groups for recommendations specifically for somewhere that would be good for people who hate going to the hairdressers

The same place came up a few times, reviews looked good and it didn't look too posh/high end (I really didn't want anywhere like that) so then I popped in to have a look and make an appointment. Had a nice chat with one of the hairdressers and she helped me figure out what I needed, told me to bring some photos of what I had in mind and booked me in.

I go fairly regularly now and no longer dread it, I've had three different new styles now and been happy with all of them, I just keep wanting to go shorter Finding the right place/person is key so it's worth doing the extra research imo, hope it turns out as well for you as it has for me

OP others have mentioned it but I'm going to reiterate that asking to book in for a consultation before your actual appointment is a really good idea. My salon books them in 15 minute blocks (and they're free) and it's a great way to chat about what you want, what your usual routine at home is with washing and drying, bring some pictures for inspiration and reach an agreement as to the sort of cut you're aiming for. Then usually once it's all agreed you can work out when to book the appointment there and then because the hairdresser will have access to her diary and a clear idea of how long it's going to take, having seen your hair and knowing the cut you're aiming for.

What I will say is be really really clear about what you do at home. It has taken me a good few years to twig that I need to really explain when telling my hairdresser that when I say I don't do anything after I wash it I really truly mean it, not even a quick blast with the hairdryer (as so many stylists have assumed in the past) so it needs to be a cut that will work and look ok from just air drying and not have to be styled into place. And also that I LIKE that my hair is a mix of wavy and curly and don't want it to be blown dried straight within an inch of its life!

Also ask questions if you're unsure about anything. I've had bad cuts before because they've used a technical term that I thought meant one thing that actually means another. I've also been guilty of using a phrase that the hairdresser has taken one way and actually I meant something else so really do make sure everyone's on the same page

I used to be exactly in your position, scared of the salons and saying or doing the 'wrong' thing but now it's genuinely one of my favourite things to do, I love the pampering!

Good luck OP and enjoy your lovely new 'do!