Why are *some* hairdressers so rough with your hair?

[SundayGirls]

I got to thinking. I have fine delicate hair but no matter what I say to the hairstylist about it, they usually do most or all of the following:

Use bleach. (I've realised my hair is too fragile and really needs a break and in fact I should find a different hair colour closer to my own that doesn't require lifting or even gasp skip the colouring altogether for a while whilst my damaged hair recovers)- but they've never said so.

Roughly wash hair, scrubbing hard at the roots.

Roughly towel dry hair like they are drying off a wet shaggy coated dog.

Drag brush through damp hair starting at the roots.

Blow dry hair with hard bristle brush on the highest hairdryer setting, with the nozzle literally touching the brush.

I usually sit there cringing as these things happen. When I first sit down in the chair I always point out first how fine it is and say it's quite delicate (which is really, really obvious) and yet - they do all of the above anyway.

Why?!

Because they are sadists! ✂️ 💇🏽‍♀️

Yeah I often come out with hair feeling more dry and crap than when I went in!! And I can't stand the ridiculously rough shampoo 'head massage' 😂

Kittykat I can literally feel (ok, imagine) the hairs breaking during their "head massage" section

With hairdresser washing, I really just want a light, gentle touch, with fingertips, carefully done. Not hands and fingertips scrubbing furiously and pounding at my hair. I hate it, absolutely hate it. My hair is always clean to start with, it's very fine and straight (i.e. not thick, curly and tangly to wash), I have only highlights so not a full head of colour - so it's not hard to clean. Why do they have to scrub so hard and roughly?!

I used the same description of ‘like towelling off a dog that’d been in a pond’ to describe the way some hairdressers dry my hair. Why would you do that? It’s probably ok if you’ve got thick shiny straight hair, but not if it’s fine a curly like mine. I can’t imagine any customer particularly likes being treated like a naughty red setter though 🤔

I hate having my hair washed at the hairdressers and always refuse a head massage. I had one once and it felt like she was trying to reach in and hook her fingers around my brains. So painful and not in the least relaxing!

My hairdresser also has fine hair so she understands how to treat it! I could get a haircut for cheaper but she’s worth the extra.

She’s pregnant so I’ll have to find someone else during her mat leave!

I hate having my hair brushed by hairdressers. Only happened once, she almost lifted me off the chair with the force. I never went back.

I love everything about the hairdressers, the burning bleach, the fingernails on scalp... I think I might be a hair sadist though...

I've found someone lovely now who is so gentle, and she pats my hair dry and always says 'let me know if the hairdryer is too hot' etc.
Previous hair dresser was so rough I felt like I was being assaulted. I really couldn't understand it.

I like the head massage, amd haven't ever had a problem with brushing, but I have had my scalp singed from her keeping the hairdryer in one place for far too long. And last time - I haven't been back it was so awful - the hairdresser kept poking me with her long spikey fingernails. It felt like I was bleeding. She finger-dried my hair first ouch then kept digging her fingers in again to play with the layers to see how they fell. I was wincing and moving away, it was bloody obvious it hurt but she kept on doing it. My scalp was so painful afterwards.

You’ve just articulated all the things I never realised made me hate getting my hair done. I rarely go, trim my own fringe and leave the rest. But it does look a bit shit. Mines grey, and I’m always being asked “have you thought about colouring it”? Errrr no! I dyed it for 20 years and I’m done with that.

The thing is, with fine hair that maybe also dry and/or damaged, or even if it's "just" fine, the hairdresser should do everything very gently and more slowly. Fine hair doesn't need to be bossed around, it's already submissive

Don't they train hairdressers at college in the difference between hair types and how best to treat them? Genuine question.

Really tough or thick hair might easily take a pounding from towel drying/burning temperature hair tools, but fine hair is just a totally different story.

Wah. I hate having fine hair and I hate going to the hairdressers nearly as much! Trips to the hairdresser starts with apologising for my fine hair and goes downhill from there, really. I've stopped going.

I have ultra thick, curly, crazy hair - it's not just fine hair that suffers from rough treatment I can assure you! My hair would end up like a total ball of frizzy wire wool if treated as you describe - it needs to be towel dried by pressing not rubbing and combed not brushed for example.

My hairdresser understands this because (a) she's good and attentive and (b) I had a very honest consultation with her before I even went for my first treatment. A good hairdresser should offer a free consultation, I would never go with someone new without meeting them first. My hair is too precious to trust! Explained clearly issues I've had before and detailed what I expected. Told her if she could deal with my hair I would be loyal and recommend her to curly hair Group I'm in. It works because we are both honest about my hair.

If someone is dragging nails, brushing too hard, water too hot, etc you have to speak up! Absolutely no point in doing the polite British thing and suffering through an unpleasant experience. They aren't mind readers, tell them at the time so they can make it better. Most hairdressers I'm sure would want you to have a good experience not suffer in silence. (I really have never understood the typical British attitude to poor service - say nothing and whinge afterwards, seems odd to me, sorry!)

I once went to the hairdressers and she combed my hair so roughly it really hurt my scalp - I think some are sadists!!! :-0

halfahunner I have definitely raised it with them but they "uh-huh" and stop doing it only for a short time then go back to it, or you have to remind them through every stage "Er, if you could just not scrub so hard that would be great thanks!" "If you could just brush a bit more slowly with that wide tooth comb that'd be great, thanks!"

Sometimes the trouble is they do it so quickly you don't have time to protest without literally getting up/throwing them off. For example the towel drying of hair. By the time you've put your hand up and are trying to twist around in your seat to tell them to stop, they've already done it. Sigh.

If they do agreeably treat your hair less rough, you can guarantee they have forgotten how to be gentle the next time you're in so you go through the same reminders etc and to be honest, it's stressful. I don't want to be telling someone how to do their job but on the other hand my hair really suffers from anything less than careful, slow, gentle treatment.

If I ever go back to using a hairdresser then I think I would be far more bold from the start, like you say. I am quite apologetic in tone as I respect them as the professional and don't want to be "that customer" but on the other hand I really suffer from the rough slapdash treatment. I think I would actually lay down the law far more firmly (still politely of course) right from the word go, like you did. Good tip.

I hate it too OP - I had my hair done a couple of weeks ago and my scalp felt bruised for a few days afterwards from the hair wash and the yanking when they dried it - they do a lovely job so I have put up with it so far but I am a bit at spending £140 to have a sore head no matter how nice my highlights are

I hate it too. I have thick hair but can’t stand having my hair washed, find the majority of hairdressers quite rough. Can’t understand how you can think it’s ok to dig long nails in! Always ask them not to do head massage and they act like I’m crazy and try to convince me anyway.

Yup I totally agree with all the above. I hate getting my hair done. I always come home with a sore scalp. Why would you have long acrylic nails if you wash/ style hair for a living?? Do they have to gouch me with every pull of the comb? And yes to drying my head like a shaggy dog, really no need. As I get older I've become far less tolorant, that's why my hair really needs doing now, I've not been for 6 months!

I remember one occasion coming very very close to getting out the chair and slapping the girl washing my hair, digging her nails in and dragging her nails in circles then dragging them back. I didn't but I came close.

I've come to the conclusion that hairdressers have their ways of telling you to fuck off and don't come back!!

Oh and I forgot scolding my scalp with hot water. EVERY time they turned the tap back on.

I once asked for luke warm water, they didn't know what I meant. I had to explain...

Yes!! I have very fine hair and have quit going to the hairdresser now. I paid a fortune for hilights every 2 months and my hair was breaking off at the roots. She also blow dried my hair and straightened it to within an inch of it's life. I've started home dying now and getting a dry trim every 6 months and it's so much healthier

Suze my hair was badly broken but the hairdresser never said anything and I just didn't notice as it was highlighted so different strands breaking off rather than a block of hair IYSWIM.

Last time I went I noticed that although I apparently have shoulder-length hair, the sections she was pulling out for highlights were only about 4-5 inches long. I thought I knew a thing or two about hair but I didn't realise how broken it was, I just thought I had fine hair (I do, but it's been made even finer by the breakage) and also I'd have thought she would have told me if it was broken.

Now I know for myself and I am really quite cross as I've been going to her for ages and we get on well in the salon. I don't think she was being irreponsible on purpose but how could she have not known?! Being a trained hairdresser and all.

I am treating my hair at home. Trimming it myself, handling it with kid gloves, doing protein treatments etc. I've done a lot of research and can't believe how blinkered I've been over the years and the sheer lack of advice I've been given. I don't trust any hairdresser and when I get grey hair (fortunately not a problem for now) I'll do it myself with a semi-permanent colour, very carefully.

Even when I went to a different one for a change (very very expensive, was treating myself) she was no better at all and in fact over-highlighted my hair so I had to go back for her to put lowlights back in as it was ridiculously light and not even the right shade for me) so it's not even limited to one hairdresser. Also the different hairdresser did just as much rough handling.

I have had it with hairdressers

DD had a comb jammed between her ear and her helix stud

I skip the hair massage / wash by always having a dry cut ( mine is short) and go in with freshly washed hair

OP, too much protein causes breakage, you probably need to add moisture not protein.

Kool that is good advice, I have read that too. (I have done much much reading!)

Protein treatments are good for limp hair. Moisture treatments are good for dry hair. If you have both types of hair then (apparently) you should alternate the two types of mask treatments weekly. Also a lot of people don't know that good protein treatments must be followed by a conditioner as they are not conditioning treatments in themselves. Also, once they start working and hair is recovering then they should be stopped.

I have only just started on the protein treatments (like, 2) so it's not been down to that for the last X amount of years my hair has been getting more and more damaged and fine. That''ll be the heat everyday, blasting with a blowdryer; also the 6-8 weekly bleach highlights in my fragile hair, mainly

and of course the rough treatment at the hairdressers.... I really cringe looking back at my hair being fried with bleach, then roughly washed, towelled, brushed when wet (prime time for breakage) and blow dried with a rough brush and a hot dryer to dessication. With no sprays, no leave-in, nothing.

70 ouch ouch ouch! I am more into the dry cut the more I think about it. Avoid all that mishandling of wet hair!

But if it's common knowledge amongst the untrained that wet hair is the most fragile, why are hairdressers still so rough with it? It's a conundrum... I personally think it's down to speed, needing to get through clients on a timescale, and also to "show off" like it makes them a better hairdresser, a sort of bored careless familiarity attitude.

And don’t you just love being burnt with the hair dryer? the times I’ve had Satan’s firey breath burning my neck and scalp
Although I’ve actually been for my hair cutting this afternoon at a new place and it’s lovely. I’ve not been scrubbed or scratched, the hairdryer didn’t burn me, my ears were untouched by the straighteners and best of all, it’s exactly like the picture I showed her I’ve booked my next appointment too.