I have the worst hair ever. Please please help me sort it! I actually feel ashamed to leave the house!

[Ihatemybarnet]

My hair is very thin, very fine. I can't have a fringe. It won't lie flat. The sides won't lie straight - it sticks up in whispy bits. It can't go longer, it looks witchy. I haven't had much success with it shorter. I don't have the time to go to the hairdresser regularly, plus I really have a fear of hairdressers akin to he dentist.

It's dyed but lots of gray underneath.i can't decide if I should go gray or continue to dye. It is so fine and flyaway. And I can't get any volume in it. Plus at the front there are many teeny baby hairs which never grow longer. I've left some of my face in the picture, so you can get an idea - I look so old and horrible, and my awful hair is just exacerbating the overall horrid look

Is there any cut or colour or treatment anyone can suggest? I'm really desperate.

[MaidenMotherCrone]

Mines cut every 5-6 weeks. Really quick job.

Given I don't spend any time or money on it inbetween cuts I don't mind at all.

[NotNowBernard1]

Can friends recommend a hairdresser?
Go for a consultation (I know, I'd rather have a smear than go to the hairdressers but I go every five weeks because my hair looks utterly crap otherwise - you can do it!)

I reckon you'd benefit from a combination of high and low lights - these would cover the grey and add some volume - the processing swells the shaft of the hair.

Google Princess Charlene of Monaco. She has fine hair and you might get some inspiration from her.

Do you wear make-up?

[TSSDNCOP]

I think it's perfectly easy to dislike the hit dressers and as a result come out every time feeling dissatisfied. Why don't you pop in a week earlier for a consult with the stylist and maybe colourist - if you have a plan that includes colour they can do a skin test. That way, when you're appointment comes you've broken the back of things and might come away feeling like you achieved what you wanted.

Salt spray, blonde highlights, wax will all add weight. You might even find your hair's texture assists a short choppy cut whereas heavier hair wouldn't.

[spankhurst]

Google the actress Susan Earl who's in the kids' show So Awkward. She has very fine hair but in a lovely cut which you might like.

[Ihatemybarnet]

Make up only for work and usually minimum eg mascara and nude lip stick.

Is it stoopid question - is salt spray something you buy, or is it literally a spray bottle with some salt and water in I'll Google those people, thanks.

[hp2]

Mine is just like this .I keep it just past my ears. Have you tried hair straighteners? It may flatten the sticky out bits. Mine starts to flick out when it gets to a certain length. I embrace i5, use my straighteners to flick it out.

[buggerthebotox]

I have very fine hair that won't lie flat. It's in a choppy short style with highlights to add volume plus styling stuff. I use hair powder for volume.

Could we see another pic from a different angle?

[NotNowBernard1]

The reason I asked about make-up is that you've got good brows and jawline. So if you could get a simple but effective make-up routine to enhance your eyes and lips then I think this will help increase your confidence.

So you could book a session at a Bobbi Brown counter and get a tutorial on light foundation, blusher (or bronzer), lipstick etc. I'm older than you and did this the other week and was pleased with the results.

[SukiTheDog]

I detest going to the hairdressers. I don’t like the “will it look a mess” thing and the “will they just do what they like” thing. I’m also crap at chit chat (asd/Aspie) so it’s a sense of “just get through it” for me.

My hairdresser now, knows I don’t do small talk. We have an agreement 😉

[SukiTheDog]

I used to have a great hairdresser who allowed me to skip the blow dry. I don’t do anything with mine so for a stylist to blow/flatten/bodify my hair was alien to me and the first thing I did on getting home was wash it.

My now hairdresser won’t let me leave the salon towel dried.

[Ihatemybarnet]

Oh God, every thing about the hairdressers is awful. You're bringing me out in a sweat.

From the minute you walk in. Do you want a drink? There's no right answer. If you say no, you get pestered. One time I finally have in and asked for a cuppa. They finally turned up with a coffee (boak). Then made such a drama of it. And then how are you even supposed to drink it? Last time I thought I'd make it easy and politely said water, then at the end they billed me £2 for it.

Then there's the whole consultation. What do you want? Well, same as last time/ what can you recommend given my hair type. Then there's the sinks. It really hurts my neck. Every time I say it hurts my neck, and can they do it as quickly as possible. Yet every time, they take forever. Then I'm in agony and highly irritated. And don't even get me started on the head massage!.
.then there's sitting in front of the mirror trying to avoid eye contact with self, or hairdresser. Or are you supposed to look at yourself. And then they talk to you and it's painful. Or they don't talk to you and it's really awkward, and why aren't they talking to me. Aaarrggghhhh. It's like sitting in a taxi. Too close to a stagger yet no interaction. Creepy.

The whole experience is utterly horrific.

I've just talked myself out of going

[NotNowBernard1]

😀 You're going to the wrong hairdresser! Ask around!

[Kardashianlove]

Yes, you definately need a different hairdresser! Some have the lay down beds so your neck doesn't actually touch the sink.

I know some people hate it but you'll have to decide what you hate the most - going to the hairdresser regularly or hair you're not happy with. Honestly, regular cuts at a decent hairdresser and getting them to show you how to style it will make a massive difference.

[MaryLennoxsScowl]

I have thin hair too and I like no oil oil - mine is a cheap one from boots. I don't spray it on the roots in case it makes my hair greasy, it just weighs down the ends so they don't stick out and it adds shine.

Salt spray is a product, try Ouia Wave Spray, it doesn't make your hair crunchy like most salt sprays.

[SukiTheDog]

What about a mobile? It’s on your turf then.

[NHSparent]

Don't get a pixie cut. You have to have a particular type of face/bone structure to pull it off properly and it is high maintenance. The worst option if you hate the hairdressers

I would play about a bit with putting body into it, maybe with mousse and bendy foam rollers to start with since they are dead easy. I would also flip your parting to the other side and wear it like that for a few months. You may well find you don't have the same issue with the wispy bits on the other side. Then flip it back again. I alternate my parting regularly and it really helps to minimise the amount of wispy hairs and keep the condition looking good. I wouldn't go grey, I'd keep up with the dye and maybe go lighter.

[onefortheroadplease]

My hair is like yours, after many years of my hair completely ruining my confidence I had a hair system fitted.

It was very expensive (I stuck it on a credit card), but completely worth it.

Have a look at Hairsolved website, it’s where I had mine done at

[Middleoftheroad]

I need to know what a hair system is now!

I have fine hair and choppy layers and highlights help. Backcombing also works wonders!

I wonder if rollers would wirk? I often see those Babyliss Big Cutls and wonder if they give big hair?

[FruitCider]

I’m betting you have naturally wavy hair and that’s why you have the bits that flick out. Stop shampooing your hair and research conditioner only washing. I would also grow out the fringe x

[onefortheroadplease]

I will put pictures on, give me a minute

[onefortheroadplease]

Before

[onefortheroadplease]

Second ones after

[TSSDNCOP]

Salt spray is a product-Tony and Guy do a great one, but there's heaps of other brands.

Right: break this down, because many of the things you don't like I agree with.

1. Immediately change salons. Is there a friend or acquaint with hair you love? That's where you need to go.
   

1. Consultation first, book the senior stylist first out. Explain what you want and what you don't like. Include that you're not comfy with in-chair entertainment. They won't chat if you don't enjoy it. Senior stylists are pros, they won't take it personally.
   

1. Arrive with tea in a take out cup or bottle of water.
   

1. Before you sit at the sink in plain you get a bad neck and you hate head massage. The kids are trained to do it, they want ny mind not doing it.
   

1. Ask their advice. Be clear what you don't want. I'm 5'10" and 14 stars be with a very technical short cut. I'm two snips away from looking like Clare Baldwin and my artillery knows this would be v.v.bad.
   

1. Hairdressers are only as good as the relationship between the two of you. Fuck paying good money to look like a chump. You wouldn't accept it in a shop, this is no different.

[Flyinggeese]

Hi OP I just had to post having read this thread. I can't suggest anything re the style as I have long ish hair and am no expert generally hair wise anyway but oh my goodness I relate to how you feel about going to a salon! Excruciating is a perfect word for it. A minefield of awkwardness and I find also they, generally, assume an awful lot of knowledge on the customer's part, expecting you to know exactly what type of colour or technique etc. As a result, I put off going for nearly two years before my last cut.

Anyway I just had mine cut at the local college where they do evening sessions where the hairdressing students do hair appointments as part of their course, supervised closely and advised by their tutor. I absolutely loved the experience. Got the best hair cut I've ever had (took a while because the stylist was being so cautious but she did a fab job) and it wasn't really a salon. It was in a college. Different vibe completely. No sitting in a window with passers by looking in, interesting environment, lots to look at (students practising on dolls' heads etc), no awkwardness at all, or that false over-familiarity you get with some hairdressing places. I'd highly recommend trying a college.

Hope you don't mind a recommendation like that. I had to chip,in as your posts resonated with me so much and I feel a bit evangelical about my discovery, excited to know there is an alternative.

All the best with it.

[JeremyCorbynsBeard]

Shameless place-marking as I also have thin hair