How much damage does the menopause really do and how to fix it?

[busterhall]

At 40 I am not yet menopausal as far as I know. I love good skin and have always looked after mine and with that and some good genes so far I am doing ok and I am often told I look much younger or people are really surprised at my age when they find out.

What I am also told it that once the menopause hits I'll be hit with wrinkles and facial aging and that by the time I'm 50 we'll all be level.

Now I do accept aging and getting older etc but I still want to have the best skin possible and to avoid wrinkles and sagging for as long as I can.

I'm not into having fillers, botox or surgery but would consider lasers, radio frequency tightening, dermal needling etc as well as skincare, nutrition and supplemental treatments including HRT.

I would be really interested from others how the menopause affected them and the things they did that help them head off the worst effets especially those in the looks department?

Considering stretched and filled faces to look youthful is a matter of opinion. Only so much can be done before it does look odd.

Does anyone know of any good reading or websites that can give information about the menopause.

The NHS website isn't great on this subject.

www.menopausematters.co.uk/ has lots of information that is up to date. Also, a magazine.

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b08ndjfw/kirsty-wark-the-menopause-and-me This is available for the next couple of weeks, but is mostly about post meno (and cake).

Peri-meno and bleeding problems seems to be less covered, although the menopause matters website has an article on the Perils of Perimenopause which is helpful in explaining it.

Stress aged me more than the menopause!

Weight is slightly harder to shift and tries to stay around the waist but eating sensibly and exercise keeps it at bay!

The menopause wasn't bad for me at all.

Thanks Terrylene.

Actually, stress is a big point. I know someone who has recently had to give up her job due to stress and meno - for some reason, some women have a very big problem with this at meno Fortunately she has had a good job for some years, so was able to retrain and do something she likes at less money.

It is also a big ager - I think that family stress over the last few years have been a problem for both me and DH - I think I have aged with it and when I look at him I can see he has too.

This might sound silly but do you think extreme stress can cause the peri menopause?
I'm just 43 and last year my eldest ds tried to take his life over 10 times.
It was a horrendously stressful time which has only recently improved.

I just feel too young for this to be the start of it.

I doesn't make sense.

Terrylene that sounds lovely and i agree that posture can make or break a person's bearing.

Ihatethecold, im certain that that kind of stress can age a person. My son has been very mentally ill and the hardest thing is living with/watching it with no hope of change in sight. For you

I'm 46, and peri menopausal. First noticed that my joint were very achy, and that I looked permanently bloated 5 months pregnant when I turned 43. Then my hair started feeling dry and wispy. Didn't notice any changes in my skin, but I've inherited very good genes.

Long story short, I have been on HRT for the last year, and all the aches and pains have gone. Hair is back to being softer and thicker again. And best of all, I have lost 12lbs, and no longer look bloated, and I'm back in my size 12 jeans

Now I'm slim again, I have reviewed my wardrobe and realised that 70% of it is quite frumpy, and that I was buying far too much from Fatface and White Stuff. I've taken it all to the charity box, and have refreshed my wardrobe with pieces from All Saints, Zara, Mango and H&M. I've also started following a few French instagrammars, and I love their casual but still stylish outfits....they're to blame for my new biker's jacket, and those bright red, softy Kicks from Topshop, and my new leopard print skirt...and oooh, lots of other luffly stuff I still wear plenty of classic stuff from The White Company & Mint Velvet, but these newer pieces have really lifted my wardrobe

I've also recently had my teeth professionally whitened, and it's made a really big difference to my smile. And, I have also just mastered the art of tight lining and mascara stamping, and it's fantastic. I've ditched the nude lippy too, and have started wearing a blush red colour that isn't as harsh as a classic red, but is very flattering and brightens my whole face.

There's no denying that I look like I'm in my 40s, but I think I look nearer to 40 than 50 (I hope).I think I look okay, and recently, one of DD1's friends called me 'very pretty' , apparently, which made my bleddy year

Maqueen. Did taking HRT make your periods return?
I'm 43 and they seem to have disappeared

I've also noticed my hair texture is changing.
I hate the wiry grey hairs that poke straight up to the sky.
Also my hair has gone really curly at the back

HRT made my periods return sadly,but still better than the hot flushes....

HRT doesn't make your period return. What you're experiencing is just the withdrawl bleed which happens after you finish the progesterone phase of your HRT.

The oestrogen causes the lining of your womb to build up, and the progesterone stops it getting too thick, and once you finish the progesterone the lining of your womb sheds.

A bit like the pill then?

Yes, very similar, though the levels of hormones in HRT are much lower than those in the Pill.

I take HRT Ellest Combo, I think. Take every day... no periods.

Isn't shedding womb lining the same as a period though?

I am late fifties and am always getting told ' Never ' and 'You can't be ' and so on. Mainly genetic l think my dad was italIan and died in his eighties but apart from last two years when very ill was fit as a flea and passed for in his sixties. Also l had awful oily skin most of my adult life and l think ages better though on downside prone to spots right up to my forties. The jowl thing l have found weights help firm the neck area and have a set of 4kg dumbells which seem to have improved the saggy jowl effect.

How do you use weights to firm the neck area?

I was wondering that too

I could tie the weights to my jowls - would that work?

I'm getting so fed up with hot flushes! Getting them a few times a day now. They make my face go bright red which is embarrassing and seem to be making my mild rosacea worse

Is there anything I can do about them?

I tried Black Cohosh for a bit following recommendations. But my flushing was very on-off-on so it was impossible to say if it was doing anything. In the end I decided it was useless but some women swear by it. Otherwise I just got by wearing natural fibres wherever possible, lots of layers and sleeping on a towel.

I'm sure the Menopause Matters website mentioned above will have advice for hot flushes.
I'm not sure it's the menopause or more just aging but I put weight on round my middle after 60. Very hard to shift.
Some fair haired friends have very lined cheeks which I think is due to sunbathing over the years. I don't have it but never sunbathed much (due to the fact my skin holds a tan for about 2 days once I stop sunbathing so it never seemed worth it).
I agree 100% with this - "At 20, we worry about what others think of us. At 40, we don't care what they think of us, At 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all" quote from Ann Landers US columnist.

I'm fascinated by the dumbells too....I'm imagining all sorts, but willing to give anything a try.

I have some tapey things which stick on your face to hold your jowls up. no, they don't work.

Or what about one of these?