How much damage does the menopause really do and how to fix it?

[busterhall]

At 40 I am not yet menopausal as far as I know. I love good skin and have always looked after mine and with that and some good genes so far I am doing ok and I am often told I look much younger or people are really surprised at my age when they find out.

What I am also told it that once the menopause hits I'll be hit with wrinkles and facial aging and that by the time I'm 50 we'll all be level.

Now I do accept aging and getting older etc but I still want to have the best skin possible and to avoid wrinkles and sagging for as long as I can.

I'm not into having fillers, botox or surgery but would consider lasers, radio frequency tightening, dermal needling etc as well as skincare, nutrition and supplemental treatments including HRT.

I would be really interested from others how the menopause affected them and the things they did that help them head off the worst effets especially those in the looks department?

[missmartha]

I'm also nearer 60 than 55 and i don't have periods any more. Which is a relief.

I didn't notice it other than missing the odd period here and there until they eventually stopped altogether, about 8 years ago.
I grew a bust, that was the most noticeable thing for me.

[ihatethecold]

Thanks for the explanation.

[MrsGuyOfGisbo]

Re the oestrogen - I did go to my doc and said I was suffering dryness in sex. She is lovely - prescribed me vaginal oestrogen pessary (like applicator tampon) - much improved!

[Floisme]

I agree with Niminy that clothes and dressing well can bring pleasure at any age. I actually enjoy working out what suits and doesn't suit me as I get older. I have to think about it more but that makes it more rewarding when I get it right - and much more satisfying than trying to look younger which just strikes me as futile.

[JohnCheese]

I really think you can't really look much younger than your age. You can however look well for your age.

I'm pretty good at guessing ages and rarely, if ever, have guessed someone to be younger than their age. (I don't go around shouting ages obviously) I have guessed older - and this is mostly in heavy smokers, heavy drinkers, substance addictions and people who have had v tough lives including poverty.

Once I guessed a man to be about 65. I thought he was lying to me - his date of birth said he was 40. He was 40. Not a smoker, but a caucasian man who grew up in South Africa, spent his days outside, no sunscreen.

Anyway I suppose I'm saying I don't think that oestrogen is everything. Pretty much the same health advice for every age still applies, eat well, don't smoke, sunscreen etc etc.

[Gwenhwyfar]

"I really think you can't really look much younger than your age. "

I think lots of celebrities do - I realise some of that is down to cosmetic surgery, but one of the annoying things about hitting 35 was that I started looking older than many 50-year old celebrities.

[peaceout]

re looking good for your age, I guess it depends what your default standard is, if most people you know smoke, sunbathe and arent all that healthy then I suppose the non smoking sun avoiding healthy lifestyle people will look young to you.

Celebs all have work done

[peaceout]

I look like a 51 year old health freak, which is exactly what I am :o

[PickAChew]

If you're terrified of looking obviously over 30, then nothing will fix it for you.

Make the best of what you physically have, with the best health you can have. If that's not going to be good enough then seek help with your mental health as a matter of urgency.

[IndieTara]

Currently going through menopause and would say ive aged 10 years in the last 3. I always looked younger ( according to other people by around 8-10 yrs ) now inlook and feel every inch my 50 yrs. menopause for me has meant migraines, panic attacks, cystitis, memory problems, palpitations, exhaustion and overwhelming sugar cravings. Definitely going onto HRT

[OlennasWimple]

I just realised that I'm a smidgen older than the new French PM and feel very aged indeed

That and I am sure I am heading towards the onset of menopause (third period in a row that has only lasted a couple of days, plus some other symptoms that could be explained by other stuff)

So I'm watching with interest about the things I could do now to hold back the inevitable for perhaps a little bit longer

[missmartha]

I might be an older bird than a lot of you having been through the menopause and come out the other side unscathed but I do adore clothes and see no reason, in fact it has never occurred to me, that I should stop buying nice stuff.
As for what I look like, well I look the best I can, I have done all my life and to be honest when I was 25 I used to worry that I looked dreadful. I didn't , but like a lot of people I just fretted over my looks, which is daft because looking back at photos then, I looked fabulous.

You just gain so much in confidence as you age that it shows if you let it. If you need medical help it's there, we are the lucky generation in that we really don't have to suffer.

Can you imagine an 80 year old with a 30 year old face? Spooky. We are supposed to change as we age..it's normal and it looks fine.

[PollyPelargonium52]

I think staying away from stress is key just recently I supported somebody going through a marital break up it took its toll and I had a two week migraine something I would never have had happen when I was younger. Generally speaking I only get migraines if I don't juice regularly but this last one was a real shocker and I am hoping that was due to stress and not the shape of things to come! The problem was I didn't realise it was a migraine until about a week in I had thought it was due to a gastric bug. So the tablets didn't work too well.

[JeNeSuisPasVotreMiel]

Seriously OP, I would be much more worried about the threat to your physical and mental health from the menopause rather than what your face is going to look like.
Inability to sleep at night is one of the first symptoms for many, and those long nights spent tossing and turning with hot flushes don't do many favours for your state of mind.
The loss of female hormones can have a profound effect on your self esteem, not only from your own self perception but also because of the realisation that there's no going back on fertility and sexual vitality. Saying that, a lack of interest in sex isn't always a negative thing. You'll get people popping up to say that they still have very healthy sex lives, thank you, but there's a difference between that and the primal impulse to have sex that we gain at puberty. It's a relief not to have my chemical brain urging me towards sexual encounters that might not be the most sensible thing I've ever done!

Losing bone density is also on the cards as well as an increased risk of arthritis.

I'm fed up of an older face being seen as a negative thing. Look around and there are thousands of older women who have lived good lives and looked after themselves - their lined faces and grey hair should be welcomed as part of the rich fabric of humanity, not dreaded as the worst possible thing that could happen to a person.

[missmartha]

I agree about seeing older faces as a negative thing. We have wonderful faces. I do look after myself. I take long and lovely holidays with my partner, the man I still love. I have a deep interest in colour shape and design which reflects in the clothes I wear. I love clothes. I spend a lot on getting my hair done well.
I love how I look.

I do keep an eye on diet and excursus. That is not to say that I spent hours at the gym, but I walk and swim and keep the garden looking good. Having fun, keeping socially active with friends all helps to keep you feeling good. Happy women generally look and feel better than tense, anxious ones.

I make sure I take advantage of any health checks on offer. All this is free and important at all ages. The way we are as maturer women can be the result of the way we treated ourselves when we were much younger. We don't cross the menopause threshold and suddenly turn into wizened hags unless we've neglected ourselves previously.

[PollyPelargonium52]

Luckily I have always been worked up enough about health to take plenty of supplements, water, fruit and vegetables. I am sure all these strategies help no end.

It is just irritability and tiredness but I think the iron supplement with B12 I have just started taking will assist. If not I can always visit the homoeopath.

[peaceout]

Can you imagine an 80 year old with a 30 year old face? Spooky. We are supposed to change as we age..it's normal and it looks fine.
If we could have 30 year old faces we could presumably also have 30 year old bodies, your 80 year old would just looking like a 30 year old
we are not 'supposed' to do anything that we do, fly in planes, use computers survive infections, it's all down to our natural human ingenuity and ability to cooperate as a species that we have advanced technologically.
If it were possible (and it will be...as a natural outcome of technological progress) to have a much extended life and a youthful appearance for all of it who wouldn't?

[missmartha]

My comment on a 30 year old face was more about face creams and serums, plus to some extent surgery.

At this moment in time there is nothing that can make an 80 year old, body or face look 30. There might be at some point in the future, but right now there isn't.

[peaceout]

It's possible to have a youthful body for well into your 60s or 70s if you can avoid injury or illness and optimise diet and exercise...something which very few people manage to do over a period of several decades
Face is harder without surgical intervention and possible unnatural looking results, however there are celebs who look say 40 at 70
I don't think it will be too long before 30 at 80 is do able, especially if you too very good care of yourself from an early age, something which few if any currently elderly people would have done

[missmartha]

Well yes I agree and it's something I mentioned upthread. Care for our bodies/faces has to start early. You can't just get through the menopause and expect a bottle of serum to fix things you haven't bothered with before.

[terrylene]

A good hair cut makes all the difference. I look and feel like a scarecrow at the moment. A visit to the hairdressers on Thursday will make me a neat and tidy 50 something, and give my face a lift, even if it does not give me instant youth.

Why do I not go more often, I ask myself

A friend of mine goes for regular facials and has really lovely skin. Unfortunately I cannot afford that so have to make do with facecream.

[EleanorRigbysNeice]

Exactly, we have to do he best we can with what we've got and done so, genes and lifestyle. My bones are fucked. I trained (and danced) from early childhood in classical ballet. I was thing to the point of muscle on vine and diet was appalling (got scholarship to ballet school and 10). My feet are a mess, spine, hips and lower back also. By the time I was 12, I was having my hips/feet injected with steroid, they were so painful. My knees? no Robles (in ballet the turnout come from the rotation of the hip NOT the knees). So, skeletally, I may have experienced a better time of it, mid 50's, had my young body not been so deprived of nutrients and not worked so, so hard. Who knows. My mum's nearly 80 and has no bone probs.

My skin has been well looked after in terms of Moisturiser and sun block. My weight has always been pretty steady but I find myself being able to do less and less (due to pain) and so find it hard to fight that dreaded middle aged spread.

In an ideal world, I'd still be slim, still do class (as some of my friends do, in their 50's) and I KNOW I'd feel/look better.

But it is how it is. I'm doing what I can with what I've got.

[EleanorRigbysNeice]

Christ the auto correct on iPad is dreadful.

THIN to the point of MUSCLE ON BONE.

KNEES NO PROBLEMS.

[peaceout]

My feet are a mess, spine, hips and lower back also
One problem with exercise (I appreciate that ballet is far more than just exercise!) Is that if you really get into a particular discipline then wanting to excel can to lead to injuries and damage.
On the other hand in order to exercise regularly it helps if you are enthusiastic about what you are doing, it can be hard not to take things past the point of optimal benefits

[terrylene]

I still do ballet Eleanor - I am a crap ballet dancer though so do gentle classes with similarly aged friends. We just cut out the iffy bits . The best classes are with the teachers that used to dance, and know how to teach the dancing and poise, without the punishment IYSWIM.

Posture is important and makes a big difference. When I go to my local cinema (which seems to have an audience with a mean age of 70) it is very enlightening.