What to do with VERY thick hair?

[macnab]

I have thick hair, and lots of it. I know people who describe their hair as thick but really its never as awful thick as mine. And of course its frizzy. Well it would be curly if I used the right product and left it dry naturally (which would take about 2 days). Its past my shoulders and pretty much all the one length.

I blow dry and straighten twice a week, which takes about an hour. It actually looks quite nice and I do get compliments about it. I just feel that my life is planned around my hair! I know that sounds incredibly vain but for example, I took up running last year and when it got to winter time I couldn't run in the rain because I simply don't have the time to do my hair every day. I work full time and have young children, so twice a week is more than enough for me.

I need to look fairly smart for work, so it has to be 'done'. Its so thick that I can't put it up, other than to tie it back in a ponytail (using a heavy duty elastic band!) which just makes me look crap.
I just don't know what to do with my hair. I don't have the money to go to a high end salon and I'm so nervous about getting it wrong. I'm thinking layers but when I google images I just don't think any of them really have hair as thick as mine. And a lot of the images seem to be US which I think has a different 'vibe' (sorry hate that word but can't think of another one) about them.
Does anyone have suggestions as to what I could do with it. Preferably with pictures! I'd love it to have a 'style' but be manageable.

PS: I'm 40.

Would you be able to post a pic of your hair? I have thick wavy hair and straightening wouldn't be sustainable or practical for me. Also if you are heat damaging your hair with the straighteners it will get more frizzy.

There was some kind of magic brush people were on about...can't remember the name now...anyone know? Quite a new product, ionic maybe?

Some layers would be good as otherwise you'll get flat top/wide ends triangle shape when not using the irons. Long layers with no feathering or razoring (make that clear!) could be a gentle way to start.

What would happen if you washed your hair pm, dried naturally with some leave in conditioner/product, and then plaited or otherwise arranged in sections overnight? That might introduce some control and you could then just pin up some sections in the morning and add a bit of serum if needed to make it look done. Or use magic brush if I can remember the name!

By the way, a good deal of volume will be coming from not allowing it to curl. Imagine if you let it dry curly then brushed it out - it all balloons out probably. Twisting sections/skip curl method is good for encouraging clumping and avoiding that look.

I have the same problem. If I needed to look 'done' for work, I think I'd go for a bun doughnut, and keep the more time-consuming techniques like pin-curling for nights out. Thick hair is very high-maintenance, I agree!

How often do you have yours cut? When I had long hair, my hairdresser used to trim a bit off and then thin it out dramatically, which made a lot of difference. The curly girl method does make a big difference to frizz ones. I tend to just blow dry my fringe and wander around with wet hair until it dries, but with long hair and no fringe, I think you can wash your hair in the evening, sleep with it plopped in a microfibre towel (look up plopping curly hair on YouTube) and then it should dry fairly quickly the next day.

Ah, a fellow-sufferer... my hair is insanely thick, grows very fast and is curly/frizzy and it was long for years. As soon as I brushed it, the curls frizzed. If I didn't brush it, it would start going into dreadlocks. The only way round this would have been to use heavy-duty hair products, and, every day, brush it, wash it and leave it to dry - which would have meant having permanently wet hair and left me with no time in which to have a life. So I had to live with the frizz (and still had to live my life partly round my hair, since it took HOURS to dry).

After years of having it long and thick, plaiting it and using leave-in conditioner (the hair oil from Asian shops is really good), I had it seriously hacked with thinning scissors. That improved my life no end.

Then I bit the bullet and had it chopped off, and still had it thinned as well. It looks a bit like this:
short-haircutstyles.com/cute-short-haircuts-bangs-2013.html/2013-short-haircuts-with-bangs-for-wavy-hair
but not entirely as I cannot be arsed do not have the time to spend hours styling it - I just want to wash and go.

This sort of hair is not unusual in my extended family - and all the women who endure it either a) have it in some sort of rigid style which must take hours to mould each day or b) end up chopping it off.

For really thick hair the cut really makes a difference. I have a short bob, longer at the front than the back with layers and majorly thinned . i seriously think its one in ten hairdressers who can handle really thick hair and more expensive isn't necessarily a guarantee. It certainly turns thick hair into low maintenance, takes 5 mins to straighten and lots pretty smart

But after 7years I'm a bit bored of it and I'm giving a go at growing it out. I love all the frozen Inspired plaits and the right plait updo can be awesome. They all look best with long thick hair and for the first time I am genuinely considering embracing the thickness. you tubing like mad for tutorials both for DD and me.

Im assuming you know about paddle brushes (has to be kent or denman) and silicone free shampoo and conditioner?

If you can't style your hair on a day when it got wet, perhaps you could put it up in a bun? There are things sold in the accessory aisle and shops where you put your hair through something, twist that thing up, and then snap the ends together - instant bun.

now don't shoot me down immediately..... because my hair is like yours.

A heavy fringe. I just style the fringe and the top straight by blowdrying the front sections forward. I don't have to blow dry the rest straight. It would take too long.. I have layers cut in to the bottom to take some of the weight out of it. It's still very thick mind you. It does mean getting my fringe brazilian blowdried every two months or so (needs to be done every six weeks really) but it's possible to buy a kit on amazon and do it at home.

I have had every hairstyle under the sun and this is the one that looks groomed, like I have a hair style but not an enormous crazy hair do and it can be put in a pony tail. I have to go to HD next week and if they cut it so short it won't go in a pony tail ........... i'll murder them.

coffee in a papercup could you send me a picture of your hair style? maybe privately? i would love that chin legnth bob, short at the back, cut in to the neck but not too close. Not sure that the hair on top wouldn't stick up on end though does it work for you?

ummmm, very flattering but really wouldn't feel right for me to share photos of me, besides atm I'm attempting it a little longer (hoping I don't turn into triangle head).

it looks a little like this at the back
www.short-haircut.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Cute-short-layered-bob-hair.jpg
Only my hair lays flatter because it has been thinned much more.

It actually looks a lot like the Victoria beckham bob in this photo
3.bp.blogspot.com/-hoYk2L7axnI/Tlxe-0V7ZZI/AAAAAAAAAOI/hIWXQO1oK7U/s320/Victoria-Beckham-Short-sleek-bob-hairstyles-Best-Celebrity-Bob-Hairstyles-2011-Part1.jpg

The difference in length between the front and back started off minimal and has got far more dramatic as the years have gone by. It looks alright just brushed but pretty awesome straightened.

but it really does not work with the wrong hairdresser and always watch out for the hairdresser who straighteners the hair to hide the fact they cannot do layers right.

Get hairdresser to thin it out. They can layer it and thin it out underneath. Makes a lot of difference weight wise

I have exactly the same.

Honestly, spend the money for a permanent straightening (japanese yuko style or keratin). It is bliss. Hair dries in about 5 minutes from out of the shower (when non straightened mine takes at least 45 min with a blowdryer, and forever naturally) and it always looks 'done', whatever you do (or don't) to it.

It costs a fortune but for me the yuko treatment lasted at least a year, and could stretch it longer by using the straightening irons just a little bit after that.

I've got to say I've never found any of the leave in conditioner stuff any good. As a teen I washed my hair every day and used frizz-ease styling mouse to do anything with it it was that bad.

Avon morrocon oil shampoo + conditioner are ok and there serum for a quick fix is pretty awesome. But Silicone free really does make a massive difference for me

permanent straightening. yuko is the best one, ime. costs quite a lot but lasts for a year and will make it incredibly quick and easy to dry. i've also had another straightening treatment done which is similar to yuko (just google thermal reconditioning and you'll get lots of options), wasn't as good but much cheaper, about £110 and has lasted for 9 months so far.

I want that when I win the lottery

Years ago I went to get a consultation for Yuko, and the guy said he wouldn't do it as my waves/curls were too nice and didn't need it. Oh dear, that sounds very boastful but it is meant to be a confidence boost for all of us. Thick and wavy hair can be the best, it has the potential to look better than almost any other kind. I am so glad I didn't and don't straighten now.

I love those photos coffee next time I go short I'm going to get that cut. Is it hard to make it stay flat on top. That's my worry.

I've never had a straightening treatment that lasted longer than 6-7 weeks! I will google thermal reconditioninng. The one i used to get really really made my eyes sting and water.

Babyliss brilliant shine ionic brush, that was it. I know if you're going down the wavy/curly route dry brushing isn't good, but otherwise it might be worth looking up some reviews.

Thick and wavy can certainly be the best, if you are willing to spend the hours and hours making it look that way!

But if you want to just be able to shower and wash your hair without having to block a couple of hours from your schedule in order to do it, straight is the way to go ime.

I find it the other way round. Straight took lots of time and effort, but a cut that allows my hair to be itself means it takes a couple of minutes to style rather than 45 minutes of blow drying and straightening.

Mine goes curly but not nice curly. More like electrocuted and bendy.
Plus it seems to be getting less wavy the older I get. I cut it off into a short bob (below the chin) recently but I think I looked frumpy.
I can't let it dry naturally as it becomes a frizzy wavy mess. Straightening takes ages and never looks as smooth as when the hairdresser does it. It's always in a ponytail.
Any suggestions?
Oh and I use the proper products too.
Might look at that hairbrush someone mentioned.

Thanks for all the replies. I was at an exercise class this evening then showered and washed hair and spent 20 minutes non stop just drying it! Am taking a rest now before I tackle the straightening part!! Seriously us women must be mad, no way would a man be bothered with all that faffing...

I actually took some pics before and after the drying process so I'll see if I can upload them tomorrow (never done it before)

Am not in uk so uko not available to me. I did have a brazilian blowdry pre dc when I had money years ago and it was great but only lasted 6 weeks really. I've used the one off amazon twice but the most recent time I used it I found it didnt really work. My hair is longer now and there actually wasnt enough product to cover all my hair - thats how thick it is

My hair cannot be put "up" any way other than a ponytail. A bun would be enormous and would weigh my head down so much. I asked in hairdresers for an occasion and she didnt have a donut big enough!! Even on my wedding day I just wore my hair down.

I do think maybe shorter layers are the way to go, am just worried about it going "bouffy" - I'm 40 and dont want to look like I'm trying to look young but would love to look stylish all the same (wouldnt we all!)

I had it very short a long time ago and it was actually lovely but my hair grows so fast I just couldnt afford to get it cut every 3 weeks! And that was back in the days when I bought whole outfits on a whim and did all my food shop in M&S! Things are quite different now...

Anyway my arms have recovered enough for me to start on round 2 of the hair fight so I will sign off and try to post those pics in the morning.

I have lots of very thick coarse hair. I recently had it cut into a very layered, choppy long bob. It is so much easier and quicker to deal with now! The hairdresser thinned it with thinning scissors too which does help. It washes and dries in a quarter of the time from when it was below my shoulders and one length. My head feels light! I tried in vain for so long with updos but they were always so painful no matter what. Shorter, layered and thinned hair that's regularly cut is the answer,

Is your hair actually curly?

It might sound silly, but curly hair is way less maintenance than keeping straightened hair straight.

I have curly hair and masses of it. If I blow dry it probably takes more than 15 mins to get mostly dry, whether I'm diffusing for curls or blow drying in order to straighten afterwards. Air drying depends on how warm it is, but maybe >8 hours!

Anyway, I wear my hair curly most of the time. If it gets rained on it sometimes looks even better afterwards, and if it gets bigger then oh well, it was big already I wash (and therefore dry) twice a week, and drying is just diffusing, and air drying the last 10%ish. No wrestling for an hour with straighteners.

If your hair is curly please, please, please don't let a hairdresser with a razor or thinning shears near it. It's the worst thing a hairdresser can do to curly hair. Imagine your straightened hair getting rained on and all the shorter bits due to the thinning will frizz up.

If you want to consider curls then google the curly girl method and have a read.

Sorry if this is no help, just thought I'd wave the flag for embracing curls!

I'm a recent convert to curls, and for the first time in my adult life, I've started to love my hair, and get compliments from people. I spent decades thinking I just had coarse thick unmanageable mostly straight hair. Now I know that when treated properly it is a lush mass of waves and loose ringlets, and looks beautiful.