Embracing my curls

[Bumbolina]

I've got wavy/curly hair if I leave it to dry with a bit of mousse. I like it and would like to embrace my curls - what can I do to encourage them? I have days when they curl brilliantly and others where they barely kink!

I've been reading stuff online and a couple of websites have suggested not shampooing...?

I don't want her with dreadlocks though. I would have to cut her hair if she got dreadlocks...although she's mixed race, she is very white with blond european hair iyswim?
I know curly hair doesn't need brushing if you don't have hair down to your backside and are capable of looking after it yourself, but Dd is not and I think the only way I could leave it loose is if I were to cut it to her shoulders...that's becoming more likely as time goes on sadly.
How long is your Dd's hair Cote? does she have dreadlocks permanently? and if not, how do you get them out?

Oh and yes, I've plaited without brushing, but it's a mass of knots to which she screams blue murder as I struggle to separate the sections :(

She won't have dreadlocks if you wash her hair every other day.

DD's hair comes to her waist when combed with conditioner. Bounces back in curls to about 5 cm under her shoulders when dry. Her hair forms natural locks as in tight curls, not dreadlocks.

Wash her hair, comb with conditioner, rinse. Towel-dry by squeezing not tossing hair around, then apply a tiny bit of conditioner over the top and tips. Leave to dry. And see what happens

When you want to style it, just wet it a bit and let dry again.

You know how everyone always says 'get a hairdresser who understands curly hair'? I've always just let them cut it and straighten it at the time, just for a change really - but assuming you ring in advance and say 'I've got curly hair, can you do that?', how many did people go through before they found a curl-cutter they were happy with?

I have a question, too! I am now no co-washing and longer brushing (thanks to this thread - baa).

Will my halo of frizz die down over time? I'm enjoying the curls, but when I stand against a white background, all I can see is bloody frizz poking out round the edges.

Nit I'm going to try this guy in Birmingham that was recommended upthread. If people travel to see him from Europe, he must be good!

My DD2 had thick curly hair down to her backside even as a toddler, and still does at age 18. It bounces up about 6 inches when dry. Now that DD3's hair has grown really long (she is now 15) it also has about 6 inches of bounce. She can just about sit on it when it's wet. DD3 (I think I called her DD4 upthread -- she wouldn't like that) is a redhead and had less hair as a baby, and it seemed to take longer to grow than DD2's hair. She was born with a mop.

I washed DD2's hair every two days when she showered. I let them all shower themselves from age 4 -- if a small child gets under the water often enough she will be clean even if she doesn't attend to each and every washable bit every time, and I think the habit of washing is an important one to develop. And of course, being clean has a lot going for it too.

For haircare, I leaned in around the shower curtain and squirted the right amount of shampoo and then conditioner on, watched to be sure they were washing it right, and made sure it was all rinsed. When we changed to conditioner only, I supervised until they were able to manage it properly themselves.

For DD2's long hair, I then put in some leave in conditioner on the last ten inches and combed through with a pick, and when it was almost dry I plaited it. I never brushed it. With DD3 and her shorter but still very curly hair, she could scrunch it herself. Before discovering the Curly Girl / conditioner/ no brushing the pulling was just horrible for her, hence my search for an alternative..

We never got nits. I dreaded them because their hair was really not amenable to the fine combing required.

I really can't see me washing hair every other day. Doubt she'd agree either.

My own hair is curly again! seems that the Turkish man that cut my hair did know what he was doing! really very pleased! may take Dd to see him! wish I could speak Turkish

Project ooh you're going to see Michael James in Brum?
( 'twas me who recommended him). Love to know how you get on.... For me my wavy, frizzy hair had never looked better, I was seriously impressed. It's still looking good now 2 months on, time for a new visit I think!

Do you not worry about your child smelling, and being teased about it in school?

Very few children really enjoy having to wash but I can't see the downside of making them do it all the same.

What math said.

Nobody said its fun to wash children with curly hair but you can't just leave your daughter's hair unwashed for weeks on end.

We had hot water once a week when I was growing up, so that was when my hair was washed. I can't imagine my mum saying, "No actually, I'm not washing your hair this week because I can't be bothered. Keep it dirty for another week".

It does not smell! in the warmer months when she gets sweaty and it starts to smell sweaty (sweaty, not dirty ), I wash it. No way would I not wash it if it stank! I'm very fussy/funny about smells and dirty people, so I can assure you that her hair does not smell.

In fact, one of the other Mums was talking about washing her Dd's hair and I said I only washed my Dd's every 2-3 weeks and she was very impressed that it looked so good. As she said "you'd never know"
Works for us.

It strikes me that comment could have meant 'you would never know it was ever washed' just as much as 'you'd never know it is washed so infrequently it looks so good.' Even assuming she meant it as a compliment, she was still surprised at the infrequency of washing, or she wouldn't have said 'you'd never know'. And people are often more polite IRL than here, as you may have noticed...

Ok so you don't want to wash your own hair because you can't comfortably lift your hands above your head. Why don't you want to wash your DD's hair? It's only torture for all involved because you wash it so infrequently. Rastas happen because her hair isn't washed.

Can you just give it a go? Wash her hair twice in one week and see if her hair is more manageable & washing it gets easier?

Argh. I just had a bad haircut which took off length but not volume. Now my hair just looks bushy.

Oh no...she's a good friend and her culture means that she speaks her mind!

Rastas happen because they don't cut or brush my friend most certainly washes his very long dreads.
I have no intention of 'giving it a go' Cote. Her hair is not stinking and it's not dirty. If it was, I'd wash it. My own hair is washed if it is dirty or smells. We aren't mingers!!

I wash mine so that I don't ever have to notice that stinks or is dirty though - it's a preventive, isn't it?

I think it might be fairer to dd to wash it a bit more often, you know.

I don't actually let my hair get to the smell stage. I know that's what it says up there, but I don't because I 'brush' my hair with my fingers and you know how your hair feels etc and the need to wash it...And what exactly is 'unfair' about not washing Dd's hair every couple of days? she doesn't have greasy/oily hair and nor do I. I just can't fathom why I 'need' to wash hair that isn't dirty. Certainly, the most frequent I'd ever wash her hair is once a week, but never more so.

Well, it will be dirty if it's not washed for 2-3 weeks! Really it will.

Anyway, this isn't a thread about how often people should wash their children's hair, and I'm sorry for getting distracted by that.

It isn't dirty! if it was dirty it would smell and it doesn't smell! and yes, I know it's not about how often hair is washed! I was asking about ideas as to how I could deal with bitty hair on Dd, ie is there anything that can mend, make better bitty hair (not split ends, just bitty) other than just cutting it by 12".

Things which are not washed for three weeks are dirty!
But yes, I would think that a trim would be good for bitty hair. Just wash it before you take her!

I cut her hair myself...after washing as cutting curly hair is not easy.

It really couldn't be anything but dirty if only wash every 2-3 weeks. Apart from sweat, there is dust and airborne dirt that will gather there.

Wash and condition it comprehensively every 3-4 days at the least and the bittiness will diminish.

Cutting curly hair is much easier if done dry. It's a process more like topiary care than traditional hair cutting as you can see how the curls lie, and maintain or create the shape you want with confidence that that is the shape you will get. Cutting it wet is taking a big chance.

I've only cut it dry once ~ never again! plus, because it's plaited daily, if I did the topiary cut, the ends would be all over the place. I get what you mean, but I just cut it straight across as there are no layers; it's just to keep the ends healthy.

Solo - I'm not judging (truly) but I have to say that I am a bit for a little girl whose hair is always in plaits and gets washed only once every 2-3 weeks.