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What does mumsy look like?

499 replies

appletarts · 26/04/2013 20:16

What do you think of when you think mumsy? I'm interested in opinions and pics if anyone finds something quintessentially mumsy. It's my fear, looking all mummy.

OP posts:
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seeker · 28/04/2013 09:52

"Oh, I hate it when threads go this way - the implication that by giving a toss what you look like you're somehow letting down the sisterhood. Tripe."

Not as bad as the implication that if you dare to be seen out in a fleece, flat shoes or waterproof clothing that actually keeps you dry you have somehow stopped caring and are to be pitied or mocked or both!

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Fuckitthatlldo · 28/04/2013 09:55

I certainly don't think that physical appearance is the most important thing about myself or any other woman.

Nor do I think that women have a duty to look their best.

I have strong feminist values that I am proud of. But years spent living as a woman and working in a women only organisation have taught me that a woman's confidence and self esteem is boosted (not dependent on, but boosted) by the feeling that she looks good. In fact, little changes in appearance can often be one of the first indicators of improving mental health.

That's why it makes me want to weep when I see great swathes of women looking like they don't care, or that they want to hide and fade into the background.

It isn't healthy to have no interest whatsoever in our appearances, and it certainly doesn't make us 'better' feminists.

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TheFallenMadonna · 28/04/2013 09:55

I think more women use it to describe themselves actually, than other women. When I hear it I think about the awkwardness of transition. I was a bit mumsy when my DS was very small, and I was almost playing the role of a mother without really knowing what I was doing. I had props...

And then I felt mumsy when my children were older and I went back to work, and made that adjustment in identity.

As Mrs CB said, describing a single item as mumsy is daft, because actually, it's not about that. And it's not about lipstick either. These threads confuse me.

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50shadesofbrown · 28/04/2013 10:02

Me.

Am still at least 2 stone (28 pounds) overweight from hideous pregnancy. It's DD's 1st birthday next week. Limited selection of badly fitting clothes (I refuse to spend my limited funds on new ones as I am losing the weight, so it would be a waste of money). Short hair, growing it out so I am in between styles - a bit scruffy. Hair colour is at least decent, it goes a lovely golden colour in the sun. In winter it's mousy brown. No time to do makeup most days as DD likes to attack my makeup bag, & me, when I try so I've pretty much given up.

Depressing really, I used to love clothes & looking nice. I think it's ironic that I look like I've got everything from a charity shop (sometimes I have) whereas she always looks gorgeous. I put so much effort into her appearance & so little into mine these days.

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50shadesofbrown · 28/04/2013 10:06

Oh yes, and I always year flat shoes as we don't have a car, & I have to wear orthotic supports full time & they aren't compatible with heels...

I am so looking forward to getting back into my old clothes.

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wreckitralph · 28/04/2013 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cocolepew · 28/04/2013 10:27

I wouldn't use the word mumsy but have used frumpy.
After having my first DD I was so frumpy it was unbelievable. I went from being punky/gothy to my gran in one fell swoop Shock.


I agree on the good coat and boots in the winter, they hide a multitude of sins.

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kerstina · 28/04/2013 11:23

I think frumpy is very different to mumsy. We had frumpy girls at school. They did not want to follow the latest fashions in clothes,makeup hair.Seemed to just wear boring, unflattering clothes. I guess they just did not care about their appearance. A lot of us on here we love clothes(not fashion),makeup ect. That is why we visit this board after all.
Mumsy is a bit different just meaning not vey edgy,usually bit more mature. A bit bland. A bit boring.Not wearing colours and styles that suit them I have a lovely friend who just does not make the best of herself. I would love to give her a makeover but I know her well enough to realise she just is not that bothered.
Everyone is different. I absolutely do not judge people for looking mumsy as it is probably me who is at fault for being a bit vain Grin
Wreck it Ralph your friend sounds stunning and would look good in anything I am sure but this thread is more about style than beauty.

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noddyholder · 28/04/2013 12:27

Its all about how you present yourself The same things can look cool and elegant on one person and frumpy on another. Kate moss wears black skinnies biker jacket heeled boots and looks cool. jane mcdonald doesn't.

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wreckitralph · 28/04/2013 12:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marriedinwhiteagain · 28/04/2013 12:47

Recalls wearing skirts with patterns for a about five years (from when ds was 1 until dd was about three) because they hid the snot marks from when the darlings wipes their noses on me. Blush. I always wore make-up and did my hair though Grin

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Startail · 28/04/2013 12:54

Frills, bows, puff sleeves, bibs with pearl buttons, bubble hems, gathers.

All childish, twee, unnecessary detailing that makes dumpy, short bodied size 16's like me look even dumpier and rounder than we are.

Often in floral fabric which is a bit too pastel and looks tatty (whitestuff) or a bit too primary colour to look classy (M&S) or is plain horrid (Next)

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Chandon · 28/04/2013 16:12

Wreckitralph has a crush Grin

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Fishandjam · 28/04/2013 22:22

Unfortunately, I think that for many women, having kids spells the end of a lot of disposable income to spend on clothing and/or time to tour the shops looking for decent stuff amongst the tat. I'd love to be head to toe in Saltwater but I can't afford it, so I have to settle for Joe Brown's or Fat Face (even though Fat Face has been shite these last couple of seasons, as it's one of the few shops in my nearest small town that I can get a buggy into). And nice expensive clothes are not well accessorized with snot and posset stains in any event.

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Fishandjam · 28/04/2013 22:29

Bloody hell, I take it back re Saltwater. Just had a dekko at their Spring collection and it's the very definition of mumsy. Their winter stuff was much nicer...

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DisappointedHorse · 28/04/2013 22:40

I have hair like this which meets a lot of people's mummy definition but I love it! I hate my hair long, it feels like it drags everything down and I feel witchy and old. Is it mumsy hair?

Style wise I wear skinny jeans, boyfriend jeans, converse, little skirts with Chelsea boots, dresses, denim jackets, blazers, a variety really. I do love a scarf though!

I hate White Stuff and Fat Face as its just too fussy.

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DisappointedHorse · 28/04/2013 22:40

Mummy=Mumsy.

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cocolepew · 28/04/2013 22:52

No thats not mumsy hair, it moves Grin

Plus mine is very similar so its v cool Grin

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cocolepew · 28/04/2013 22:53

Sarah Miligans hair is what I imagine when I say a mumsy bob.

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cocolepew · 28/04/2013 22:53

And her clothes come to think of it Hmm

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fedupofnamechanging · 29/04/2013 10:20

But Sarah Milican has hair which is very similar to some of Danii Minogue's styles - the difference is that DM is very beautiful and slim and dresses well and SM does not. But the hair is much of a much

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Keepthechangeyoufilthyanimal · 29/04/2013 10:54

Non fitted jeans, jumpers, mum boots or crocs, a specific haircut with a big wide headband.
YY to Sarah millican's hair!

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woozlebear · 29/04/2013 11:47

Really?? I've ploughed through the various posts that tell me that should some of you lay eyes on me, I would make you weep with pity. But this? It isn't healthy to have no interest whatsoever in our appearances?

Since when did not paying the level of attention YOU deem 'healthy' equate to having NO interest in your appearance? I have some interest in my appearance, just not that much. I am not mentally unhealthy FFS.
That is a ridiculous statement anyway. Nuns and monks are unhealthy, then, right?

I'm in two minds how much more to engage with this debate because justifying my choices makes me sound like I'm somehow trying to argue for your approval, which I have no interest in doing. Rather, I'd like to try to get the point accross that I have other priorities that ACTIVELY HELP MY SELF ESTEEM A MILLION TIMES MORE THAN THE YEARS I SPENT WEARING MAKE UP AND PAYING ATTENTION TO FASHION, and you can stick your pity where the sun don't shine, thank you very much.

My life pretty much consists of:
Work (v conservative suity environment), walking to and from work in all weathers, hiking, swimming / yoga / cycling, Gardening, Lounging around at homl and travelling (activity based or hiking trips)

I hate wearing make up because my skin hates it, it damages my self esteem, I'd rather spend the time and money on something else eand I don't like not being able to touch my face. Jeans, comfy waterproof shoes and coats and warm easily washable tops and fleece suit my life and make me feel comfy and mean I can do whatever I want whenever I want without going 'oooh, no, I can't go for an unexpected muddy walk because I'm wearing stupid shoes because I wasn't expecting to do this when I got dressed this morning'. I wear skinny jeans in the winter because they tuck nicely into winter boots, and bootcut jeans / linen trousers in summer because they work best (I think!) with sandals or trainers.

I have a boring bob because I have awful awful hair and that's the only style that makes it look vaguely tolerable.

Now, some of you are saying that it's not the clothes per se, it's the attitude, the 'not making the most of yourself', that's the problem. But the thing is I genuinely don't give a f*ck about 'making the best of myself', which is entirely subjective anyway. All of you would probably have different ideas about what I would look best in anyway, based on your own tastes! I feel happy when I look in the mirror in my scruffs. I also feel happy when I look in the mirror when I've made an effort to go out for a special occasion, although I normally feel slightly uncomfortable and grumpy. What's important to me is making the most of my life, not my appearance, and how I dress is part of acheiving that.

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Plathism · 29/04/2013 11:50

Coco and DisappointedHorse, that Dannii bob is my favourite hair of all time! It's my hair too, though mines usually a bit wavier. Always makes me think of Pulp Fiction/Leon. Definitely looks better on my fine-ish hair than long and straggly.

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Plathism · 29/04/2013 11:56

Sarah Millican's bobs are usually a bit too layered and flicky.

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