The Shopping Ban / Frugal Fashion Thread

[FrugalFashionista]

Tentatively dipping my toes in here ---
Do you love clothes, shoes, accessories, and beauty products - perhaps a bit too much?
Have you self-prescribed a shopping ban, are you on a strict budget, or are you trying to learn to shop more mindfully for other reasons? Are you a budding recessionista, thriftionista, frugal fashionista - or would you like to become one?
Would you like to do this with like-minded people, still looking stylish and up to date?

This thread could be a place for mutual support, inspiration and creative tweaks (planning outfits from what you already have; charity shopping, swaps, repurposing).

My personal goal: no more clothes, shoe or beauty purchases in March.

I'll tell you more about why I am here in true 12-step tradition, but we need a few like-minded people first

Right now I would give up all clothes, shoes, bags, make up etc in return for a duvet, a dark room and some peace and quiet.......

stoic I'm sure I found an idiot's guide online for my mum, I'll try to find it later on.

liberty I am intrigued by the idea of limited willpower. Would explain why I am incapable of dieting when I'm pushing v hard and being v disciplined in my business life (am self employed).

Currently awaiting waffles in bed. Yum. Happy Mother's Day!

Violet I know exactly what you mean! To sleep and be alone for 5 minutes feels like an unachievable goal sometimes!

I realise that I need to look into the psychological side more as a lot of this thread resonates with me.
On a positive note, after deciding I needed a leather skirt I went through my wardrobe and found an unworn textured thick black tube skirt which goes with my jumpers and tops and will see out the winter so I can see how often I wear a skirt and purchase leather at the end of the season/year if I will wear it!

Can I ask mind-numbingly dull question of the day?
Hardware (bag metal work,, shoe fastenings, buttons)-does it look awful if it doesn't match each other or your jewellery?
I end up buying two bags in the same colour but with different hardware so it doesn't clash . Need I bother?

bleeding I really don't think mixed hardware is going to affect your overall look. I do tend to stick to yellow metals, but I know my season so I only buy that. If I didn't know I definitely wouldn't buy two copies of one bag to avoid clashing hardware.

bleeding it's exactly the sort of thing that would bother me too but I doubt if anyone else seriously notices. I only like silver so all my stuff tends to match.

I don't buy exactly same bags but for example, a dark brown bag with silver hardware and a different dark brown bag with gold/brass hardware. I admit most of my bags have silver hardware but if I'm wearing gold jewellery I feel weird having silver hardware on my bag. Over thinking I know, I gave always been too matchy matchy and will never be cool.
Thanks everyone!

*have

bleedingheart i don't think different metallics "fight" with each other. I often wear two Tiffany keys together - one yellow gold and one white gold and like the contrast.

Well yesterday was not a great spending day. Bought DD a jacket, top and bag. My imminent personal spending ban does not extend to DC, but this is an area I will have to watch. I love buying her clothes and need to find a formula to rein it in here too. Thinking of giving her a small clothing allowance ( she's a teenager ) for her to control her own purchases, and just not buy her clothes when we are out and about together.

Bought myself Boden sandals online last night. Am telling myself that they are the last purchase and the ban comes into force now. Have been here so many times in the past and not followed through. Thank you so much for the thread Frugal as it has strengthened my resolve, and gives a place to keep a diary of a very necessary journey.

Here are the rules I am going to adopt:

1. I am allowed one bag purchase in October
2. No new clothes or accessories bought by me for myself until the mortgage is paid off
3. I can buy underwear, tights and socks
4. I can buy clothes with birthday or Christmas gift vouchers.

Due to overshopping I have a well- stocked wardrobe with a lot of good quality clothes that will not date quickly. I need to look after it much better, though and over the next few days am going get in there to get it tidied.

I'm going to donate things that don't fit / I won't wear. This helps to assuage my guilt a little at the unethical way I've been living over the las twenty years. We have a very well run charity shop in our town which supports a charity which is very dear to my heart. Because of gift aid they send a letter with the figure they make from selling my items and I am very impressed with what they usually get. Once gave a load of stuff to another charity , and was shocked at how little they raised and wished I'd ebayed it myself and given them a donation.

Hope everyone has a successful no spend or frugal day : )

I'm not banning myself from shopping but I am writing down what I spend both on myself and my child. I started doing that on New Years.

The most revealing thing has been how I have not worn most of the stuff i have purchased -- so perhaps I should consider a shopping ban.

This is the short list of my shopping rules:

1. Does it fit me?
2. Will I wear it?
3. Can I afford it?

Thanks for this thread -- I still have some work to do regarding clothes & shopping.

FYI I am a big Ebayer it is a time suck but I figure it is better to get something for my castoffs than nothing. I only list on free listing weekends and for adult clothing I start at at least 10 pounds. i once sold something for 99p and promised myself never again.

I stick to silver/gunmetal/steel in everything and it simplifies my life.

Would love to do some Polyvore / Pinterest existing wardrobe planning with you and help out Wewerefirst out but currently at the mall with DC (on phone & a busy day). Lots of pros ( Hopefully, her blog has a great planning board, and TiC ) and semipros ( W&A MNV ladies ) about so if someone has time to get this started I'd be very grateful

Loving the mindful vibe!

Cheeseandchive thanks - I'll keep an eye on it with you too. These threads will be really useful for me as well so ta very

Hi everyone, am sitting in bed still!
I also try to stick to white/ grey metals on stuff. I have strayed, with a bit of yellow metal, and it makes me feel a bit odd but I think I'm the only one who notices!
I find it harder post at weekends, I work PT, and it's easier to keep track then! honest, I'm very productive at work! Ltd willpower is very interesting! Makes sense.

I think the easiest way to "get" pinterest is to sign up and give it a go. I also thought it was beyond me but there really is nothing to it. If you have an iPad, download the app, even easier then.

On a bit of a tangent, I read a question lately: if I could promise you blissful happiness, would you give up absolutely EVERYTHING you own? Not so easy to answer, is it?

yes i would give up all my material possessions for happiness

not my family.

Yes, material possessions. Everything. House, bed, clothes, jewels etc etc. Anyone I have asked irl had a long think before answering. As did I. Sort of focuses your mind.

Gallivanting I love the giftaid letter. I always feel v smug when the charity shop has made a good sum of money from things I couldn't even be bothered to ebay.

I had a brief spare moment and learned to use Polyvore.
I told you that I came up with a new 'dressing formula' the other day. We all use formulas we dress. Some common formulas on MN:

tunic+ leggings + moto boots
skinnies + slouchy top + flats
dress + opaques + boots

Well, my formula is not astrophysics. I thought of a combination that allows me to use three items that have been languishing in the back of the wardrobe (a charity-shopped silk blouse; old slim bootcut jeans; about 10-year-old pointy toed flats).

Using this holy trinity as a basis, I can create quite a many different looks by combining the basics from other items from my wardrobe. Of these items, just two (the black coat, blue blazer) are recently purchased (ie, this year, pre-shopping ban ) and 11 are old or very old (some of them have narrowly survived charity bagging).

This here is my first Polyvore set ever. Please pay no attention to the fantastic prices and designer names (couldn't edit them out for some reason) - my items are old so I used stock images of similar items supplied by Polyvore. So my cheap Zara coat is replaced with a ££££ lookalike and my navy slimline coat is so old I can't exactly remember when I bought it (late 1990s) etc etc. The bracelet and loafers are hand-me-downs from my mother (bracelet came with a magazine subscription).

And I'm not a fashion professional so my combo is kind of tame and not cutting edge in any way... but I've worn variations of it over the past days and felt good about them - have even received a few compliments! That's the point right?

I really enjoyed playing with Polyvore. It's very intuitive and a bit like drawing or DIY, you are focused on tinkering with the images, not busy filling your virtual shopping cart. (But if you suspect it will be a trigger to bad behavior, skip it.) So can recommend it to wardrobe planners. An alternative approaching is using Pinterest to photograph/Google image search your old clothes and then using your Pinboards to think of outfits.

Do you find this type of info useful here? And can boards like this be posted here or do they make you feel bad?

Finally, the other thread, Frugal With Links is up, so if that's your thing, please go there and start sharing. I'll stay more on this side just to be safe. Day 3 going well so far survived a trip to the mall without a relapse.

A comment to Lurking's question. An article about minimalist lifestyle in today's NY Times here.

The main point: "The things I consumed ended up consuming me." This is my bottom line - this is why I am here. New purchases and acquisitions don't make me happy: sharing, experiencing new things, rising up to new challenges does.

I enjoyed that NYT article. Minamalism ike everything else has its problems; and having an extremely rich person go on about the joys of having less is a bit preachy. But generally I agree -- stuff does not make me happy long term.

The comment that stuck with me most was the following:

I realized how little meaning "stuff" has when our house was on fire and my husband and I were frantically trying to save the lives of our pets. I realized later that neither of us had stopped to try to rescue a single thing: not jewelry, not computers, not even money itself. Only life mattered.

Hopefully and Lurking the realisation that willpower is limited was a huge insight for me. The book explains that every time you exert willpower you use up energy so if you have a morning with screaming children where you have to use willpower not to lose it with them, followed by a work meeting where people are being difficult and you have to use lots of willpower to stay professional and calm, then by lunchtime you are literally out of the resources necessary to call on to resist the high fat lunch. The book explains the biological reasons for it all brilliantly. To sum up, the messages I took out of it were:

1. Don't try to change everything at once, focus on big changes one at a time and choose the time to start the change carefully

1. Eating is important, you need energy and your body and mind react badly to being deprived - you need more calories when you are working hard and exerting will power is very hard work

1. This may be controversial on this thread - absolutes are difficult! Banning something completely is such hard work that we often fail and then feel awful. The example given in the book is deciding to never eat chocolate again - the evidence is, that this is so hard, that people give up and then eat loads of it! The brain reacts better if, when you have a craving, you say to yourself - 'that's ok, I'll have some chocolate in 20 mins' - people who do this either (a) don't eat any 20 mins later as the craving has worn off or (b) if they do, they eat a lot less than the people who keep resisting and then binge

1. Keep reminding yourself of where you are right now. So for dieters, weigh yourself every day (this is what I do), for shopaholics, write down every single thing you buy and check your bank balance every day. By constantly reminding yourself of how things are right now, you make the small every day changes that get you to your goal in the end.

Apols for the essay - but I have found the above to be lifechanging.

Liberty that is fascinating, and really rings true. Am definitely going to be hunting that book down!

I am in the midst of ebay listing - one brora cashmere cardigan and brora cashmere dress (neither in my colours or style, have been idly hanging on to them for too long), so hoping that they will make enough money to make up for the boring things I am listing too.

Bit late to this thread......
Hardware....I'm a bit of an OCD matcher, so like it all the same......however I try to buy jewelry (and an working on a watch) that ombined silver and gold them you can mix it up.
Pinterest....I'm addicted, Polyvore looks interesting......how do I find it? Love the outfit building potential.

Loving your observations Liberty.
In the middle of clothes repairs, I decided to rescue one item and perhaps improve another (nothing fancy, just repairs by hand). Sewing surprisingly meditative...

Polyvore here. There is a way to import items from Pin, only found it after having created my board. I'm actually quite excited about it, looking at my clothes on a board helps me to see things I don't normally see.

Can we link our own personal pintrest boards here?

liberty I completely agree that absolutes don't work. I've recently significantly changed my way of eating to the Primal Blueprint which is about more than diet so lots and lots of things to potentially do differently.

The view is that you should aim for 80/20 and try one principle at a time rather than going cold turkey. That very much works for someone like me - I work best with incremental change and also I'm too busy to radically overhaul my life overnight.

hopefully I've been looking for an eBay Brora cardigan for a while now. What size and colour?

I am most definitely not a compulsive shopper but am still really interested in the psychology behind fashion and shopping. I think if you can start understanding that,it all starts making a lot more sense.

Someone upthread said they used to work in retail and that the top ten selling items didn't really change year to year. Sorry, can't remember who it was! But I would love to know what they were as I think that's probably a good indicator of what you need in a capsule wardrobe.