Similarly, my SS is aged 12 and weighs about 12.5 stone.
He seems to be constantly 'growing' also.
When he is with us, we always make sure he eats well as we know for sure, BM feeds him a whole load of junk, Pot Noodles, fizzy pop etc.
I believe BM has tried to put him on a 'diet' (probably the worst thing you can do to a child, to give them a complex about their weight...believe me, I was 7 stone at his age and my mother sent me to Weight Watchers with her!!!)
but, the 'diet' only lasted a couple of days. BM obv didn't stick to it herself. When I pick up SS from BM's, his clothes always smell of chip fat (bleurgh), when I iron his clothes that he brings from home, the smell of chips comes through onto the iron/ironing board (their washing machine must be next to the deep fat fryer in their house).
My OH knows that his son is overweight, but makes excuses for him, saying that he was the same at his age (he was), but the difference is, OH was an active teenager, out playing football and what not.
SS won't go out of the front door, despite me trying so hard to get him to do anything other than playing flamin computer games and X Box!
I can only guess that's because BM mollycoddles him to the extreme, he doesn't seem to have many friends, he doesn't play out, he's been in trouble at school for fighting, because, he lashed out at another kid who called him 'fat'...
So blaaddy hard as a SM to try and encourage the little darlings to eat healthily when at home (the main home) they are fed on rubbish and postively encouraged to be lazy. I am just so concerned at the damage BM is doing to him.
But, as we all know SM's can't do a damn thing, as they go crying to mummy that they are being 'picked on' and 'shouted at'.
For instance, SS has found a habit of sneaking chocolate and biscuits out of the cupboard (Despite me hiding them). I have to admit, I laid a trap, and he failed. Each time he went to the cereal cupboard to get his breakfast, he would sneak a few chocolate biscuits at the same time while we're not looking.
That's because someone has obviously told him (i.e. BM) that it's ok to eat biscuits for breakfast! (grrr!!!)
When I challenged him, of course he went off and sulked. Thankfully Dad did go and speak to him to ask why "I only had 2" (actually it was the whole packet of expensive choc biccies over a period of 3 weekends) and was he eating in secret (a concern I raised immediately).
It's a constant battle to get him to even go to the park in the nice weather (20 minute walk and he complains that he's tired!).
I pray that he overcomes his laziness and joins in outdoor type activity. He has a trampoline that Dad bought him, but he won't use it now as "there's bird poo on it" (too lazy to clean it off as is, clearly, BM).
What do you do when the birth parents are lazy! I'm the one who wants to encourage him to do sports, to go out and see the world, to lose weight, to eat properly (no fat coke = sulk...he doesn't win though!).
(Now then I best go and introduce myself to this board properly...I have to say it's very reassuring to see many other SM's are in the same boat as me on a large number of issues!)