Poorly children

[Supercalafragalistic3885]

Whole household is unwell
my DP has got past it
Me and DC1 (3m - I’m FTM) caught a bad flu (the worst I’ve had it for a long time. could have been covid but didn’t test) last week, I am slightly better but not 100%. DC1 is still unwell and fussier, clinger than normal
DSC (13y) is now ill, but symptoms are different. Possible Covid but also saying feels like going to be sick. DSC is not self sufficient and also wouldn’t expect them to be if unwell but just explaining as adds added pressure

Is it unreasonable to ask DP to take the morning off work to take DSC to doctors and potentially rest of day if needed to help with DSC. Should DC1 have been normal I would have been able to cope better.

I actually work in a GP and believe me, when it’s comes to children (including teens) and the elderly. We would much rather see the patient to check nothing has been missed or it’s not anything more sinister than ask them to avoid.

What is this rocketing temperature? Is it responding to paracetmol? What other symptoms do they have?

If DSC is ill then yes, the actual parent should be taking them to the DR if needed. If they just need drinks, snacks and some one to keep an eye on them and give paracetmol when due then they should be pretty easy to manage.

A year and a half

It's not a "battle". I am a step mum too. If my kids are ill they want their mum (or dad). And I would want to look after them.
Same with my step kids, of course I will care for them but primary responsibility sits with their parents and I reckon they would want to be with their mum or dad if possible

You responding to other people saying - “DP to help…”. He is not helping, this is his child. You are the one helping by stepping in to care for his child. He should be taking time off to look after his own child if he’s that unwell and you can’t help either. That’s simply what responsible parenting looks like.

So you know step child well. Has the appointment being made? What time is it?

No, I completely agree. Maybe it’s my thought that because my default, I am home, the expectation is for me to pick it up. Not saying thats right, but probably why I used the word help

Please do not gaslight me. Reread your original post. You said step mum that “resents” them? Why am I a resentful step parent for asking how much my DP should be doing, and how much I should be doing?

Well, if you (and they) are well enough for you to post repeatedly on Mumsnet then it seems you probably don't need an extra pair of hands?

I have a small baby asleep on me. Very strange that you have come on this post looking for an argument

I would expect the parent to be concerned enough to WANT to stay home and take their DC to the Dr to find out what is wrong (if that’s what 111/medical professionals have suggested needs to happen).

Its not a case of what “should” happen, surely he wants to look after his child?

I actually think if the child lives with you full time it's a bit different to a typical 50/50 or weekend arrangement. You effectively are this child's parent in that case, it's not practical to separate out the roles so that DP does x elements of the parenting and you do y and z. You kind of have to operate as a single family unit.

I think it's a bit of a luxury to ask DP to take the day off, I guess it depends how flexible his job is, and whether he can afford to lose the annual leave? I wouldn't want my DP to give up a precious day of holiday and would probably struggle through in your shoes, but if he has a lot of leave or can flex his hours then it would be nice to have the extra hands.

He should be taking the morning off and taking her to the GP and get anything needed from the pharmacy but after that as long as she’s stable he should be ok to get to work. Perhaps he could set her up with a tray of drinks and snacks etc.

I didn't. I am just baffled by the idea a 13 year old is particularly difficult to care for when ill.
Of course it's his parents primary job to care for them. But if you are at home anyway it sort of makes sense that your DH doesn't have to drop a days work at short notice

If you’ve all already had this illness I’d let him get on with going to work and struggle through the day. It’s going to be miserable whatever happens so might as well not have him waste any leave on it.

I wouldn’t be bothering the doctor with it though I’d just Covid like symptoms

Yes I think if SC is so unwell they need to go to GP urgently and need looking after, and the baby is unwell and you need to look after them, it's reasonable to ask him to stay home and take SC to GP.

Odd that you are just poking at OP and not reading her posts properly, you think DC should be with their mum or dad not OP but also think OP should look after the step kid as it’s not that hard? Also the question was should her DP take the morning off to take his child to the doctors… not about caring the for the DC at home.

OP it would make sense for DP to take his child, what happened in the end?

Has your SC seen the GP OP?

OP, don't be used like so many step mothers.
This is HIS child.
You have his baby.
He needs to mind his child.
Go back to work, you may well need the income.
Do not rush into another child.

Imagine going to the gp when you are sick! Isn’t that what they are for?

I know so many that have had this bug/covid and it’s half and half who have needed the docs/antibiotics. I had my son there today and he did. My other son and I haven’t needed to go that far, yet anyway.

And yes it’s perfectly reasonable for your husband to look after his son. You are ill and have a 3mth old, and it’s his responsibility.

Fucking he’ll, some of these responses 😱

If 111 had been called clearly there was some concern/child is very sick.
That’s before you consider 111 advised GP.

clearly some people have x-ray vision into your house OR are just chatting shit.

OP I’m in a nuclear family, but my DH would have taken elder child GP because having been ill 3 months PP with said baby isn’t easy. He’d be concerned about older DC but would also not want me and baby to have to use energy getting dressed, leaving house and exposing ourselves to GP waiting room.

Also, we had a scenario where 111 sent us GP who in turn sent us A&E.

So even without blended scenario DH would take morning off to do his share (not help, it’s never ‘help’ )

Yawwwwwwn.