Positive post about DSD

[Stepmum2111]

Ok so they aren’t really my DSD as we aren’t married and we don’t live together but I am a big part of their lives when they are with DP.
I made them T-shirts with my Cricut yesterday and they said these T-shirts will stay with Dad because we don’t want to tell Mum that you made them for us, because she will ask about them and go mad that you made them.
I find that really sad. But they have a different life when they are with us from what they have with their mum. But we can’t change the mentality of someone else.

This is NOT a positive post about DSD. This is a negative post about their mother.

Don't get why you're posting?

I must admit I'm struggling to see the positive here I was hoping for a very rare positive post on here when I opened it but this wasn't it

What's the positive spin here OP? Is it that they kept them rather than being thrown?

interesting point of view, OP.

If any child I knew made a comment like this to me, the last thing I’d consider it to be is “positive”.

So, you are posting to slate your partner's ex? Okay.
No understanding of how you might perceive this to be 'positive'.

Oh God leave her alone you set of vipers.

I read it as an incredibly sad post about a young girl, having adult emotions to manage, learning to compartmentalise her life and how to be a people pleaser. The sad reality for so many children of blended families.

I think the positive is that DSD liked the t-shirt from OP/likes OPs vibe and doesn't want to be grilled about it by her mum, so she's keeping it safely at dad's house.

I missed a paragraph out. They have told me that they like being with me. That they don’t have to ask for food or drinks in my house, and the same at with Dad that they can cook something if they want.
Maybe I was mum bashing but she had a visit from social services and managed to convince them all was ok because DSD9 had cried to a teacher that she was always having to look after her baby brother (another partner) - and in the end she end had her phone taken away because social services thought that was the problem, which was her only contact with her dad.

Who took her phone away ?
What’s that got to do with looking after her baby brother? At nine, my mother had Twins. I was feeding changing and playing with them.
It wasn’t a social Services matter it was family life. Unless somebody makes it a social Services matter
Was that you?

Is the positive part in the room with us?

I mean, 9 year olds don’t need phones. We could do with normalising 9 year olds NOT having them

No it wasn’t me. It was a teacher at the school because DSD went in crying. I looked after my baby brother when I was 11 but at practical times. Not when I was getting ready for school. Social services told the mother that she must not have her phone any more. The mother doesn’t feed them and sends them to grandparents because her partner only wants to see her and his baby when he comes over. He used to be good with them but they parted for a month and now he doesn’t want them around.

I totally agree with that but it was a way of DP keeping in touch because his ex wouldn’t answer when he tried to call to speak to the children.

I agree. The older one is a people pleaser. I fall into that category myself. She has been very upset about what people have been saying about her mum where they live, she has said she knows it is true but she is still her mum and she loves her. I respect her for that. She takes a lot of responsibility on her shoulders. But pleased she can open up about it.

The mother doesn’t feed your step daughter, have I read that right?

Oh, we do love a good drip feed 🙄
So the actual Reason that social services was called is because the children weren’t fed and you didn’t report that ? It took for the School to notice.
T-shirts are the least of the concerns here it would seem

The reason SS were called was because DSD9 arrived in school late crying. When the teacher asked what was wrong she said her mum asked her to look after the baby and her mum went back to bed. Not because of the not feeding them. I can only go on what they tell me on Fridays when they say they haven’t had anything to eat. I can’t prove anything neither can DP.

I have asked DP to ask the school for a report about how often they are late to school, as a teacher commented to him that they were on time for once when he took them to school 2 weeks ago.

Social services didn’t even inform him that they were going to visit her. I think she told him because she thought they would tell him.

He should have the school keep him updated on everything. All communication should be sent out to both parents.

That has been asked for, at first it was done and now nothing

It is so hard, DSD want to go to school here near us but mum lives 30km away in a different area. She has said she would maybe register the children with DP but only if he keeps paying maintenance, even though they wouldn´t be with her.

Does he have her 50/50 and is it court mandated? School should be informing both parents any information about their joint child, why hasn't he chased this up?