Positive outcomes of parental alienation

[cherry2924]

Hi everyone. Just as the title says really? Currently going through the effects of years of attempted alienation of my dsd of her mum. She's now 18 and not talking to us. It's so upsetting I can't even describe. We have 2 children ourselves who are also massively upset and don't kno what to do or how to deal with it. Some positive stories where the dsc get older and realise the reality would be so uplifting to hear ♥️

That's so disappointing to hear that about ur bil daughter. They both must gutted. My hopes for my sd have been that once she is more independent then things would improve. We have been getting her driving lessons for 18 months now n she had her test but has now went nc for over a month now n I feel as tho Wer trying to push her to be independent when she's been pulled in the other direction from the other household. We have money saved for a car for her and I can't help but coming to the conclusion that the other household has massively not wanted this and sabotaged her chances. That is speculation but I can't help my minds thots when ur just left with no communication from anyone and trying to figure out why this has happened. I hope things improve for ur bil and sister. Do they talk about it and how have they coped with the alienation as I am struggling a tiny bit with feeling angry about the whole thing when I feel as tho this hasn't at all needed to happen but it has and it's affecting us, our kids and also my mil when we all had a good relationship n I wonder how it's all went so wrong 😑

We’re on the other side of this. My DD isn’t keeping in contact with her DF and DSM. I’m sure they think that I’m behind it. They don’t understand that I never see her either! She’s always at her BF’s and comes home one or two nights per month (even though she technically still lives here).

They can be selfish little madams at that age, and they only consider their own needs and wants. I try to encourage her to make an effort with her DF, but as far as she’s concerned he chose to move away (90 minutes on the train) and he always expects her to travel to him. He doesn’t make an effort to visit her, so why should she bother.

Hi anonym00se (love this name btw

Thanku for this perspective. That's really nice u try and encourage the relationship. I wish we could have that. We have had years of bad mouthing and negativity from the other household. My sd has told us about it which is why iv felt sorry she's in this situation. I have alwasy just tried to be impartial about the comments when replying but I am only human and probably have sown annoyance to her that this is being said about us. My sd has met a few boys but nothing seems to come of the relationships. She's not very social and spends most of her time on Tik tok. She's not very social been allowed a job (not by our house!) she often has to stay on at weekends to watch her brother. I admit I probably do let my mind run over with my thots but it's only because what we have been thru for a long time now, the phone calls of abusive and the things that have been said from the other household about us and my own children is just so difficult to listen too. I only hope that my sd is doing what ur own daughter is doing and living her life to the full which is what she deserves n hope that she gets back in touch with us soon.

Thank u for this kids reply from ur perspective as it really does help ♥️

Also to add I do agree with ur daughter as why shld she make all the travel effort under those circumstances. We would never choose to do this and love very close to her mum to stay close despite it being further away from my family which I have alwasy been more than happy with since it's still only a drive away

At the time my brother in law was gutted vut didn't really talk about it. His daughter is now 30 and nothing has changed. An unpopular opinion on here but she is a butch like her mother. Ultimately she is the one who looses out.

I do hope things turn around for you

I am sorry to hear this. Hope things improve for ur family at some point also. Life is too short ♥️

I really don't think it's wise to use the term parental alienation. It's been discredited, it's now viewed as an abuser's tactic as a tool to continue to abuse. This is recognised by the Government and there are new guidelines. It was pseudo science made up by a psychologist who killed himself as a defence for a paedophile. Not something to be associated with really.

Some positive stories on the Anti Parental Alienation channel - I know of some positive reunification stories but they must be kept private for the sake of the formerly alienated children - https://www.youtube.com/@TheAnti-AlienationProject

Parental alienation is real and does exist.

The damage it does to children is irreversible.

The concept of ‘alienating behaviours’ is recognised by the UK courts.

Proof that Parental Alienation is real and destructive to Children and to both Mums and Dads can be found here - https://www.familylawweek.co.uk/new-research-highlights-prevalence-of-alienating-behaviours/

“Parental alienation” is extremely rare and is mostly used as a tactic by abusive partners. You only know one side of the story. 99% of women would not want to hurt their children by turning them against their father for no reason.

Sadly no one does know how common extreme Parental Alienation is but this recent scientific study undertaken by Psychology Professor does confirm it is used to abuse children - fathers - mothers (and grandparents) throughout the UK. Even if it is only 1% of the female or male population who use it and are affected by it - it is a problem do you not think? Most people want it addressed and like any other form of abuse it there must be consequences for this inhuman form of child abuse and coercive control - www.bbc.com/news/articles/cy7ge6np1l7o

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/where-did-my-mom-go-a-childs-terrifying/id1694971410?i=1000690806888

Parental alienation isn’t always deliberate. Children learn from and emulate the people they spend most time with. If that’s a parent who hates / dislikes / fears / disrespects the other parent then that rubs off regardless of whether they’re deliberately doing it. This is why children should be allowed 50/50 wherever possible.

Yes 50/50 by rebuttal should be the default parentship model - minor alienating behaviours can be unintentional yes. However many parents lie and use every method possible to stop the other non abusive parent being in their child's life. This is a list of some of the behaviours used - chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://paawareness.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Parental-Alienation-Checklist-2023.pdf