Bit of complex CMS situation

[whattodo33x]

Hi, this is a really unusual situation and I can't find any info online of people in a similar situation so wanted to get people's thoughts on here.

DP & his ex wife have a DD 14 together, they split 5 years ago. DD has on average spent around 30% of her time round her Dad's and CMS at the time 5 years ago, was calculated to be around £550 a month. DP & his ex at the time of their split were both very high earners, ex wife even more so (plus £170k). They have a very amicable split, had just grown apart. She stayed in the family home and DP moved out and saved for a deposit on a new place so to not disrupt his DD, but kept his pension as it's a very good one. Ex wife did not want any CMS from DP as she said she was more than comfortable and very financially independent and they both split the everyday costs for DD anyway such as childcare/clubs/clothing. DP has since put the £500 he would have paid into a savings account for DD for when she gets older (hopefully for a house deposit).

Fast forward to now, and the ex has decided to take a massive career change which means her salary is also greatly reduced. She has asked for DP to start paying the CMS payments now directly to her, which is fine and DP of course agreed. The issue is, that she has now demanded the lump sum which is in DP's saving's pot he was going to give DD that he saved what would have been the CMS payments into, as ex says she needs this money now as her financial situation has changed. DP is not happy about this, as he now sees this money as DD's and wanted her to have this money. I completely understand where he is coming from, but legally I also feel that perhaps even if it feels unfair, this money saved away is actually his exes...what are people's thoughts on this? It's all got quite nasty and frosty quite quickly and I don't want this to escalate!

Just to add as don't want DP to get flamed for not paying CMS...This was completely the ex's choice, DD has had fab holiday's over the years from both parties, DP has contributed to 50% of the childcare when it was required etc and school trips etc.

Thank you and be kind x

She isn't entitled to any part of that money. It is DDs.

Be careful with the type of account it is in though. If ExW goes through CMS, it would need to be declared and could impact on maintenance payment amounts depending how much is saved (and I believe the amount to be quite low for savings to be taken in to account via FIU). That being said, I would recommend going through CMS. ExW won't be able to back date and ask for any previous payments.

Your DPs best bet is to put it in a trust for DD which hands over to her at 18.

What a chancer!

I’m not sure. I expect parents to pay half of their child’s needs. So he’s sort of ‘got away’ with not paying for his child then can present her with an amazing gift of cash as an adult. That doesn’t sit right.

But I will also never understand a parent decreasing their income like that. Once you’re a parent there are career changes that just aren’t open to you, IMO. Just for a few years until your children are adults.

But he will be paying a greater proportion of her needs as time goes on via savings? When it comes to uni and other big expenses he will have some savings to draw on whilst Mum doesn’t sound like she has.

I don't know if she's legally entitled to the money but to go from earning 170k a year to being in the position where she's asking for all the money back doesn't make sense. She must have savings? Was she fired? Why career change now when her daughter is 4 years away from uni? It all sounds odd - I'm sure there's a lot more to this than what has been presented.

Read the OP. He didn't "get away with not paying for his child," he's always paid half of childcare/clubs/clothing, as well as room and board while she's at his.

Nope it was a private arrangement I'm guessing? She should make a cms claim and get it all done properly

Yes it’s not complex. The only complexity is considering her request. It sits outside of CMS and isn’t relevant to any claim.

I don’t see how he’s obliged to pay backdated maintenance, so he should keep the savings for his DD and agree an updated monthly payment to ex. It’s highly unlikely the ex wants this lump sum for her DD - is she setting up a new business or studying again?

When the savings are given to DD when she is old enough she should thank her mum for them

Why? It was completely down to her dad’s discretion that he saved. He could just have easily pissed that money up the wall.

There a time frame on CMS.

It's to stop this type of stuff as its not fair to allow a sudden claim some kind of retrospective settlement.

If the ex was such a high earner it seems odd she needs this back dated amount. I can understand needing going forward but not backwards

Why?

He pays half of costs for the child AND saved money for her. What’s that got to do with the mum?

Money should be for daughter.

Why? Dad has also been paying 50% of the child's related costs in addition to saving for her?

The reason I said the dd should thank the mum is because he did not pay CMS or private arrangement so the only reason he saved the money is because the mum didn’t ask for it as covered it herself. If he paid half costs for things surely that is the minimum expected

Half of everything is the minimum?

So what do you think the right amount is?

As it stands he has been paying the costs for the child. Then each parent pays for their own housing costs for the child, food for the child etc

If you think half the child costs are the minimum are you suggesting the father should pay half the child’s costs, their own expenses such as housing for the child AND a portion of the mothers child related expense such as housing?

So fathers, even when they earn less should pay the majority of costs to the child?

So he should pay half of everything plus CMS?

In any event the Mum was content with the financial arrangement they had - there is no requirement to use CMS. They had an arrangement that sat outside of that, so it was never that he wasn’t supporting his child, he just wasn’t doing it in the manner prescribed by CMS. Men cannot win sometimes.

Saving for a child is long term so makes sense to say you have put it in a higher interest account that would be one of those with a year’s withdrawal notice. Can’t get at it then. Sorry it’s locked up. Shrug.

Unless they haven't finalised their capital position in their divorce she can go jump