I've been with my DP for two years. He has three children, aged 22, 17 and a younger one. His eldest DD has ADHD which she rarely takes her medication for correctly. She predominantly lives with her mum, but will decide to go to her dads unannounced sometimes which means any plans we make get cancelled last minute. I just get on with this, as I understand kids always come first.
Over time however, I've really noticed that she would often prefer it to just be her and her dad, unless I'm paying for something, or offering rounds, or buying treats and takeaways. She is keen to have me in their company then. She is a student who lives in student accommodation, so I understand that her money is tight however, she has refused to get a part time job, and regularly seeks money off her parents. I'm saying this to demonstrate it isn't just me she expects to pay for things.
We went out recently and her dad asked her to nip over to the bar to order some drinks, the look of horror on her face was astounding as she thought her dad was asking her to buy a round, as opposed to putting it on the tab. She always hints for things, or gets in a mood if her dad won't buy her a £200 hairdryer for example.
She came out with us recently, with a bill resulting in £147 for three of us. It was only supposed to be lunch and a drink or two. £74 was hers, as she ordered a starter, main, three sides, dessert and cocktails. Most of which she picked at and left. I don't want to say anything, as it's not my place, and her dad really plays on the ADHD thing, stating she isn't great in social situations, or with other people. This is because I told him no matter how hard I try to make conversation with her, she really just isn't interested. Unless I have a birthday gift, or am paying for something, or is with us when I pop to a shop etc.
I always comment nice comments on her social media, or make a point of shouting hello in the background when she calls her dad, but quite often I get snubbed. It's to the point now where I'm really struggling to want to make the effort with her. My DP asked me to go out with them next week, but I just feel like what the point? As soon as her dad leaves the table, or the bill is paid, that's where her interest in me really seems to end.
AIBU to not really wish to bother so much in future? Just sit back and hope she'll either come round or everything will get better if I don't bother with her. I've never been one to force myself on someone, I simply make the effort for her dad. I would like a relationship with her though, as she is obviously an important person to her dad.