They make so much noise, I'm on edge every time they're here

[Gertrudes1]

My on/off partner lives with me and as such of course his kids should see this as their home too, I get that and totally encourage it.

The problem is the amount of noise they make. It's alot and It's getting me in so much trouble with my neighbours.

I live in a flat and my neighbour is sick of the noise. I have already been screamed at due to noise they make. I'm worried I might end up in bother with the landlord or even worse be assaulted.

I don't blame them for being pissed off because when they're loud they are loud and no amount of asking or telling them makes a difference. It goes in one ear and out of the other.

Due to the on/off nature of the relationship he isn't on the tenancy agreement so of course none of the fallout will affect him.

This evening DP was playing hungry hippos with them and the middle one was full on jumping up and down on the floor, dropping to the floor, stamp running on the spot. This is the middle DC who gets over excited, he may have some undiagnosed special needs but I can't say for sure.

Imagine being underneath that. You would get annoyed wouldn't you?

DP tells them umpteen times but it doesn't register.

Am I being unreasonable, are rhe neighbours?

At their age, if they persist in being loud after being told to stop, he should get them to sit down and do something calm and quiet, not just let them keep doing whatever they're doing.

You're all gonna end up being kicked out at this rate so you might as well just ask in to leave and you can try to salvage some sort of relationship with your neighbours.
At least if they know you're in the process of sorting out him leaving, they might be more tolerant while he finds somewhere.

Exactly this.

He doesn’t really care about them keeping the noise down, as it’s not his problem.

Give him notice to move out - it’s the only way forward.

Otherwise, what? You’re stuck with him forever? Or he moves out eventually when he meets someone else.

Believe me - he will 100% prioritise himself when the times comes. Even if it means you being unexpectedly left with paying 100% of the bills. He will not take you into account, the way you’re taking him.

You’re allowed to have control over your own life too, you know.

Fucking hell, op, you are not a charity for financially unstable men. Tell him he has till Sunday and then he's out. Making enemies of your neighbours because their father is a shit parent is a very, very foolish thing to do.

Believe me - he will 100% prioritise himself when the times comes. Even if it means you being unexpectedly left with paying 100% of the bills. He will not take you into account, the way you’re taking him.

This. Presumably if he had the means or the incentive he’d set up a stable home for himself and his children. It’s so easy to just flip you some rent and crash at yours. Literally no responsibility and it sounds like no accountability.

From your OP I thought children might be 4 and 6. There are no excuses for them being so noisy at the ages they are. He needs to take them out to the park a LOT. Burn off energy a couple of times a day, especially if they are boys. Does he do that?

But mostly, he needs to move out. You’re being far too nice about it all and giving him two months notice is not necessary- you don’t need to solve his housing problem. Spend the time and energy making your own plans to move. Good luck!

Your OH will need to keep enforcing the need to be quiet. That’s just the way it is.

And try and take them out more. For the benefit of the bouncy child too.

He needs to parent his children. He tells them to stop immediately and then stops the game if they don't comply. These are not toddlers who don't understand.

Why are YOU looking at buying rugs and things to solve a problem of him being an ineffective parent?

If he just tells them and they ignore him, he needs to change what he’s doing it. If they’re shouting and jumping around, why isn’t he stopping the game or making them sit quietly on their own or one of the many other tactics that he could be employing?

It’s because he doesn’t care. He knows your neighbours are angry about it and it’s causing you problems. But still he doesn’t care enough to bother changing what he does.

His attitude stinks. Stop trying to find ways around the actual problem.

They absolutely CAN be quiet. Your DH needs to discipline them. eg 'we stop playing this game now if you cannot stop jumping up and down and making a noise'. And stick to it. Child will learn very quickly.

Of course the children can be told to stop and follow the instruction.

Your poor neighbours.

You are very silly to be risking your home for this idiot.

If you get kicked out it will serve you right for allowing this to continue.

You are being so disrespectful of your neighbours.

They won't be quiet, he won't parent, he has no incentive to care about your neighbours and you won't ask him to leave, so what do you want from the thread.

Id throw him out in a heartbeat, but you won't. So just wait until you're evicted from noise complaints, and then try and get a new place with zero reference in this brutal rental market. He won't care, it won't be him with the eviction/noise complaints against him.

This.

Completely your own fault.

Your poor neighbours.

I don't know why you would continue this relationship. Yes kids make noise, yes it's normal, no 9-11 year olds don't sit quietly for hours on end. It's good that they can get excited and relax at home and they should be able to do that within reason. None of the behaviour you have mentioned sounds extreme.

Definitely tell him to go and please don't make it about the DC and the noise as there are obviously many more reasons.

You should also probably move to somewhere more affordable so you don't have to maintain this dynamic again.

Really?? How about applying rules about not being so noisy in her home?