Child couldn't go toilet is days

[Imtryingmybesthere]

Hi,
I'm female 28, finance male 26, he has a daughter who has a server stomach issues and was constipated for days, kept having accidents etc she was I pain,wouldn't eat much.

So here's the thing we had her this weekend her mother informed us she was away for the weekend(otherwords don't call me), as she had giving out when we called her about giving the child things she would say there is always a problem so we stopped and grew, he took responsibility for the child on his day's end of. So the child could go bathroom gave her some oral laxative which didn't work . We went to the chemsit as on his days it his responsibility to look after her when she is with him, they gave him some rectal laxative which is meant to be better then stomach. So he asked me to do it as I work in Childcare , which I did read instructions and within 10 minutes the child went and she said she felt alot better her tummy wasn't sure anymore.

Whe he dropped her off he said it to the child's mother she said okay yeah. Then awhile she called giving out as the child said what happened saying he should of asked her first but when he calls she never answers and it could be hours and the child's stomach and bum was sore.

Where we in the wrong for not asking g before hand considering the child is his responsibility on his days like the baby momma said?

She also has a little go at me and I only did it due to the fact the child was in agony and was listing to her father who I'm engaged to marrying him next year sometime. Like should i be worried about this and using this?

I think it's more important you helped a child in severe pain

She asked you to do it rather than her Dad, she was better in 10 mins

I would not have had a problem with a trusted friend or relative doing this in that very specific situation; I would be grateful they hadn't let her suffer

What's the alternative - leaving her screaming in pain until her Mum answered the phone and gave permission or came over?!

I think a quick phone call and message to mum wouldn't have hurt in these circumstances. Severe health problems are surely something both parents need to know about.

What's the alternative - leaving her screaming in pain until her Mum answered the phone and gave permission or came over?!

Her dad doing it, rather than leaving his responsibilities to all the women in his life.

I don't think for a minute the dd asked op specifically or she would have mentioned it rather than just saying it was dad's preference.

My dd will not take medicine at all, there have been times where she has needed suppositories, I have a bf who has been around her whole life, I've known him for 30 years, I wouldn't even dream of asking him to do that, it's not appropriate at all.

Maybe ops boundries are blurred a little as, seemingly, and weirdly, lots of people ask op to administer suppositories to their dc, but it's really not OK.

All the stuff where op is trying to make mum sound awful is irrelevant here, although, if she's so bad and neglectful of her dd, I'm surprised dad of the year hasn't reported these things or tried to get 50/50 custody at least.

This is basically a situation where mum's seemingly crap, dad's pretty crap and op is overstepping boundries with a child that's not hers. In the middle is a little girl who is growing up with no sense of what's normal at all.

Bloody hell - the pearl clutching step parent bashing brigade are up early today. !

You have done nothing wrong OP. The child was in pain and you have her appropriate over the counter medication at the child's father's request.

The fact that it was a rectal suppository is irrelevant. It is (and was also for me) the best and most efficient way of medicating young children effectively.
As someone who has known her since birth - I imagine you have been closely involved in her intimate care for many years and therefore all those talking about teaching kids about 'private areas' are talking bollocks - as you are not a stranger.

No - mum had no right to lose her shit. She has clearly said she doesn't want to be bothered with every little thing.. and this was a routine thing akin to giving a calpol dose . Besides - her father has an equal right to those decisions if he is named on the birth certificate.

I think we need to turn this around…would everyone be so up in arms if mum (RP) had done this without consulting dad (NRP), keeping in mind they both have the same rights as parents with PR…I doubt it

I think you helped out a child who was in pain by the agreement of her dad - that's the important part. She had permission from both the child and her parent.

The mother wasn't there to help her, and I'd be grateful if my child was relieved of her pain tbh.

Everyone is so judgemental on here 🙄

Thank you all for the comments and yes me and my step child have a strong bond, I really care for her and I couldn't see her in pain any longer it really was upsetting

Her father is fighting to get 50/50 but the mother is afraid of losing the money he gives her so is fighting it

Turning it around would be mum allowing her partner to be involved of the intimate care of the child.

That wouldn't be OK either.

Ummm yes... if Mum had allowed her partner to be involved in the child's intimate care, simply because she wouldn't, then yes, I think people would be 'up in arms'

This is where you are wrong.

As the parent with parental responsibility for the child, if the child asked him that his girlfriend should do it he is the one to decide there and then not the child's mother.

The child's mother has no relationship with the OP.

If the partner was female and a female child asks then yes it is OK.

With children and partners of the opposite sex to the child then it depends.

She’s been around the child since she was a baby. She was administering medication. I was reading the reactions wondering why everyone was being so weird about a suppository. I didn’t realise they weren’t commonplace in England. Strange.
You did nothing wrong op. If she feels you are a risk to her child then administering meds is the least of the worries. I assume she has no issue with you being alone with the child. I’m not seeing an issue.

A male (other than the parent) giving a suppository to a little girl is different to a female doing so. Especially one who's a childcare worker and so has been vetted. Also, she did so at the request of the child's parent and, it seems, the child.
I don't see a problem.

Thanks for the comments again,

Yes like I've been bathing, showering changing the child's nappies when a baby toddler. Helping her to potty train, helping her wipe etc. I'm not a stranger like she loves spending time with me and I love spending time with her we get are nails done, we get dressed up for when we go for lunch etc we have a nice bond and when she sick I make sure she is comfortable. I really care for the child and wouldn't do anything to harm her.

@CoreyTaylorsSoggyTshirt @Toxicityofourcity

PP were saying DF should have spoken to DM beforehand, I read that as he should have gained permission to give her medication full stop rather than asked permission for SM to get involved

Well I guess the alternative was hospital and potentially a male Dr doing it after a 12hr wait. So in this instance I'd be asking mum to make herself available at all times If this is a regular issue and she doesn't like how you handled it
Is the child under close medical supervision?