Am I horrid?

[GirlGirls]

My partner has 3 teenage children, and we have a 2 year old together. The kids are great, everything is amicable and they are besotted with their little brother.

I often still find things tough though, for various reasons. In particular though, his children are very messy and never tidy up after themselves. I’ve spoken to my partner as it’s me who has to tidy (stay at home mum), and he tells me not to. But how can I live in mess? I feel frustrated as with my son being so little, a lot of things are dangerous.

I told my partner that going forward if the baby breaks something they left out, they can learn the hard way, and I’ll throw away things that are dangerous. I’ve not followed through with the threat though.

Various things annoyed me this morning, and having walked in to the lounge I threw away some small play coins that were left out - I’ve had enough, my son could have swallowed one. Now I’ve got major guilt.

Should I confess? Am I a horrid step mum? Should I just accept that I have to check every room before I put my son in there to play?

It's good to have a moan!

I have an almost reverse of this. I have teenage DC and a toddler and my DH has primary aged children. He gets so frustrated with my teenagers, leaving stuff around, making a mess, not picking up after themselves where I just don't sweat it as I remember what sort of teenager I was, and I was worse. I also knew him when he was a teenager!

He gets really irritated but I think this is made worse because he hasn't had to deal with teenagers of his own yet (he'll soon see 😀). I think if you've not experienced teenagers of your own and know how you have to pick your battles (even more so than toddlers) they can be frustrating and annoying creatures.

The teenagers should definitely pick up after themselves. That's part of teaching them to be good adults, ESPECIALLY if they're leaving things that are dangerous for their sibling.

I'd suggest you and DH get on the same page with regards to your expectations, communicate them clearly to the kids and then enforce them.

Failing that - I like the suggestions from other posters about putting things in boxes in their rooms!

If the teenagers are in your house you should be able to, and be supported to, enforce boundaries.