Been with DP for 12years, lived with him for 6, he's the non-resident parent and sees his kids at the weekend and holidays, (now 17 and 22) he's never let them down and always been they for them, first few years with him, he kept me at arms length with the kids, and I saw them when he decided, that's fine, whatever worked for him, but if I was to go out with friends whilst he had his kids overnight, he would be very jealous, so I found myself not going out to avoid arguments around who I talked to etc ...when we did move in together I already had stopped doing hardly anything with my friends and even family, he would say I should be spending my free time with him and his kids if an event came up where I was invited, even though I only went out once or twice a year, that was even too much and he would tell me not to get drunk and ask me what time I would be home and if I wasn't on the dot he would be calling me and shouting getting mad as he can no longer trust me, I have never cheated, or even wanted to, so I have pretty much spent all my weekends with his kids, I'm not a natural with kids, but I am friendly and have always been kind and helpful with them both, his children are entitled but I think that comes from having both parents fight for they love, and spoil them rotten as well as let them get away with pretty much everything, that's mostly my DP, my issue is am I allowed to not do stuff with them at the weekend? As now 17, 22, can I plan things myself now, I only want to do the odd thing, maybe once a month, without been told I'm not putting the family first, when I have said I would like to do something at the weekend he views it as I don't want to be apart of his family, and tells me he doesn't want someone like that!
He's still married to his ex, who when I met after 5 years told me they are not divorced as they might be getting back together! So she hates me as we are still together and makes sure the kids know it 🙈