Page 2 | Updating will - have you included SC ?

SlothMamaToBe · 2022-02-20T17:57:47+00:00

DP and I are soon to become home owners together. Due to this think it would be wise to update wills. I made my line years ago before DP and DSS were on scene. At the moment all money goes to DD on the event of my death. We also have a baby on the way so of course I will include them in will now too but I’m not if or how much to leave to DSS… It further complicates things that my share of house is 95% and DP is only 5% so we couldn’t even just do 50/50. Any ideas much appreciated.

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chocolatesaltyballs22 · 24/02/2022 11:10

I had a conversation with my husband a year or so ago about wills. The house we now live in was mine with considerable equity in it before we even met (I paid a large deposit after my divorce). He has two kids, I have one. He had blindly been assuming that all assets would be split three ways. Erm no way mate. My assets will go to my daughter, and your assets can go to your kids. I genuinely think he hadn't thought of doing it any other way, but I put him straight. He made me feel vaguely guilty that I don't think of his kids as my own but I'm afraid that in matters of money I don't let guilt come into it.

RedWingBoots · 24/02/2022 11:29

@Trolleedollee

I know my dad and step mum have split their estate equally between all the children. They have not taken into account other parents. I think that this is absolutely right. If the children are all very young when the partnership started I agree with an even split.

If the children are older that's more difficult. My partner and I have an uneven split. Everything we each brought to the relationship is split to our own bio children. Anything we've amassed together is split evenly.

You are adults though.

In the OP case they are children under 18. So if she gets run over by a bus tomorrow their father will need help to raise them and having money for that will help him.

sofakingcool · 24/02/2022 12:08

@chocolatesaltyballs22

I had a conversation with my husband a year or so ago about wills. The house we now live in was mine with considerable equity in it before we even met (I paid a large deposit after my divorce). He has two kids, I have one. He had blindly been assuming that all assets would be split three ways. Erm no way mate. My assets will go to my daughter, and your assets can go to your kids. I genuinely think he hadn't thought of doing it any other way, but I put him straight. He made me feel vaguely guilty that I don't think of his kids as my own but I'm afraid that in matters of money I don't let guilt come into it.

It's just so cheeky for him to assume that

. As I said up thread, our wills are having the children treated fully equally even though the vast majority of our money stems from DH's first house and inheritance that he gained. There's no way I would have assumed he'd want the boys treated equally - my only stipulation would have been that I wanted DS1 (DH's stepson) to have had a fair cut - ie not looking at the money and calculating what I'd put it etc as my career has hugely been reduced by being at home with the children (something we both wanted), so I didn't want that choice to mean DS1 loses out. Other than that, I would never have expected DH to split everything equally between the children - that's his choice

sofakingcool · 24/02/2022 12:11

@Nowhereelsetogo90

Yep my will specifies that my DSD is to be treated as my bio child for inheritance purposes.

@Nowhereelsetogo90

Out of interest, did you put anything into the will specifying that? As in words stating that they are to be treated equal? DH and I were talking about this recently and we wondered if there is official terminology that you use? Is there a risk biological children can contest?

PeeAche · 24/02/2022 13:51

@sofakingcool

Our wills state that:

Estate is to be split equally 3 ways between: name; name (SC); name (SC)

If husband dies before SC and SC are both 18, I will release X amount from our estate and pay it in bulk to their mother as quickly as possible but that I will not be required to sell the house to cover this. This amount is 14% of husband's annual salary at death, multiplied by number of years until children are 18. Or 11% if only 1 child is under 18. (They are very close in age) This is for maintenance. It's not generosity on my part. It's to stop her from attacking me while I'm grieving.

If husband dies before me, all monies for SC are held by trustee (me - I am also executor) until my own death. And I cannot be made to sell my house. It also protects them, because I can't change this or use their money to pay for my care.

The solicitor felt that point 1 was pretty watertight, in that non-SC would be unlikely to be able to contest.
However, SC and their mother may contest points 2 and 3. In particular point 2 - often the first wives want a cut of the entire estate, not just a percentage of his final salary. And I would expect this to be the case with her.

Statistically speaking, it's unlikely my husband will die whilst CMS is still due, so I'm hoping it's nothing I ever have to worry about!

Nowhereelsetogo90 · 24/02/2022 14:07

@sofakingcool

It’s literally a line across the bottom of it just specifying she’s to be treated as a bio child. Not sure about bio children possibly contesting, we don’t have any yet (currently TTC) but my DSD is only 6 so I’m hoping they’ll grow up just the same as full biological siblings and contesting it won’t occur to them.

Gensola · 24/02/2022 14:19

I’m not leaving anything to my SC - I have no relationship with them as they were adults when I net DH and they haven’t accepted his right to have a new partner. If I don’t have kids of my own (currently having IVF) then my half of our estate will go to my nephew. if I do have kids my half will go to my kid(s) and DH half will be split between all his kids, either just the current ones or current ones plus any we have together.

MachineBee · 24/02/2022 22:48

Not leaving anything in our wills for each other’s DCs. We have lifetime rights to remain in our home if one of us dies. Tenants in common ownership. Life assurance policy to go to his DCs as they are younger than mine and still either at Uni, still flat-sharing or living at home. My DCs are married. I do have death in service benefits that will go to my DCs. Pensions go to each other.

Assuming we are both still around when we retire we intend to sell up, move to a cheaper area and split the equity between us. I’ll buy a house that we can both live in and he’ll buy one to rent out. He has very little pension and that will give him an income. I have good pensions. But it means that if I die before him, he can move into his own property and mine can be sold to go to my DCs. If he dies before me his DCs get his property and can’t try to force me out of my home.

Relationship between my DSCs and me aren’t great. This was my DHs idea.

Gensola · 25/02/2022 06:13

I don’t think his DCs would be able to try and force you out of your house @MachineBee - if you’re married and you have wills setting out that you have a life time trust then they’d just have to wait for it.

SugarAndCoffee · 25/02/2022 06:17

Do you think I should get written into mine that it's not to go to DSC?

ukborn · 25/02/2022 06:47

This reminds me to update mine!
My husband passed away years ago and in his will he had wanted to give his kids £25k on their 21st (or perhaps 25th) birthday. He died before they reached that age ( they did get an amount from his life insurance policy). I assume their mother will leave them all her assets. There was no money left after taxes and debts in the estate and I used the equity from the sale if the house to buy another (half the size in a cheaper area), so when my step kids reached the age I didn't have it to give them.
So I am putting in my will that should there be enough that they both get the £25k.

Trolleedollee · 25/02/2022 07:54

@RedWingBoots it has been exactly the same since the day they married over 40 years ago

RedWingBoots · 25/02/2022 08:10

@SugarAndCoffee

Do you think I should get written into mine that it's not to go to DSC?

You should check but I was told if you didn't want to leave anything to someone in your will you simply don't mention them.

Also anyone you do name you should put their full names in it so they can properly be identified.

SugarAndCoffee · 25/02/2022 08:14

@RedWingBoots thank you. Am due to update mine so will check with the solicitor.

alwayswrighty · 25/02/2022 08:17

Can I make a suggestion. If you have step children and want to ensure they receive some financial support whilst still in education you can get a life insurance policy called 'family income benefit'. This will pay a monthly amount to the trustee for the benefit of the children (it is important you put the policy into trust). It is normally inexpensive, and might resolve the 'will' issue re: sdc

alwayswrighty · 25/02/2022 08:25

Ours is going to sound complex, but it's not. We have 5 kids between us. None together. Married. Own a property as joint tenants.

Everything goes to the survivor of us. Then onto the kids. Boys 35% each as one has additional needs and we don't know how he will get on in the world work-wise also his Mum has nothing to leave him and the other will receive nothing from his father at all. The girls will get 10% each. This is because their parents will have something to leave them and are capable of working when they're old enough (not long).

Also we have life insurance that pays into trust for the girls and they all have a chunk in savings that the boys do not.

They are not treated equally because they have different needs. As time goes on we may revise our wills. The eldest boy is just having help to buy his first place and we need to see how the youngest gets on in life before we can make alterations.

Redkatagain · 27/02/2022 12:51

I am about to make a will. We are not legally married (engaged but have been for years)😀
He has 2 teens.
I have no children and not likely to due to age.

I will be leaving everything to him (I own our home) with the expectation that it will all end up with my DSC. There is no one else.

vesperlindor · 28/02/2022 17:03

I need to make a will! Assets are about 90% in my sole name as I used to be a high earner, and the house was in my name/ deposit paid before I met DH. No DCs of my own. He knows my plan is to put it all in trust and make sure he is well provided for if I die first, but that in the event that anything is left in the trust when he then passes away, it will be distributed in line with my wishes, not automatically inherited by DSC. Now I just need to get round to doing it....

HairyScaryMonster · 28/02/2022 17:25

My concern would be if your DP dies before you, if his will has everything going to you without putting anything in trust for his children then you exclude them, then they miss out. Or if he gives only to his kids, where does that leave you (moreso him if the situation is reversed).

MintyFreshBreath · 01/03/2022 08:18

We both have trust wills (I believe they’re called), legally binding obviously. When the first one passes away, the other retains a lifetime interest until the second one goes. The house is owned 50/50 tenants in common. My DS gets 50% and DH’s two get 25% each. I do currently have both SC in there to be able to take my son’s share if he pre-deceases me and has had no children (otherwise it would go to them).