17 year old working

[SpongebobNoPants]

DP’s eldest DD has quit her college course and is now working. She originally took her job on a part-time basis around her college course but has no decided the pay is so good she wants to quit college and do it full time. She’s done 40 hours this week (min).

A couple of questions…
1.) I thought it was compulsory to be in education or receive education until you are 18 these days? This job offers no training or education whatsoever. DP is worrying and wants her to continue her education.

2.) Does this affect her child benefit for her mum? I predict a royal kick off from her mum if she loses money, but I also think if SD is earning a full time wage then she should pay her mum some board.

3.) Is DP still legally liable to pay CM if she’s working full time? She currently earns £1200pcm which is currently all disposable income,

Well the financial support from both parents should stop. Let her pay for her own phone and hairdo etc. You will never get her to see that learning is worth it if you sub her lifestyle.

She needs to realise that whilst earning crap money seems great if you've got parents supporting you, training to earn better will mean she can have the life she wants. I'd also charge her rent but Im mean. She needs to realise that nights out and nice clothes won't result from low paid job and supporting yourself as an adult. The sooner she learns thus the better.

To be honest I would just stop infantilising her - and let her experience what adult life is all about. She’s got more disposable income that you do why on earth would you pay for her phone, hair nails etc- that’s what her wage is for . Also her mother should have known that child benefit would end one day and also child maintenance the same and she should have been making plans to get a job /increase her income and making it clear to her daughter that she would be expected to pay her way.
You can’t make her want to go back to college/do an apprenticeship if she’s dead against it.

Once she's financing things like her phone , her wages will seem less appealing.

Mum will lose child benefit and I think child maintenance stops too.

If the warehouse is amazon they will actually pay for courses once employee been there two years. A wide range of options available.

Give her a reality check about money. Show her how to budget and her new disposable income.
Let that sink in.
Then go through all her options including if she stays in work

If she changes her mind about working then child benefit etc are reinstated as long as under 19.

@Rummikub no it’s not Amazon, it’s a parcel hub for a distributor.

Apprenticeship seems like a good fit - full time college isn't for everyone and having an income is tempting. Her parents need to try and give her a realistic projection of her taking the money now path to the bigger money later in a career - very hard. Perhaps given her age only 17 she needs to get this out of her system? maybe a compromise of a year to do her thing - paying her way and agree to discuss apprenticeship for next year. I think the past couple of years have been very challenging for everyone and we may all need a little more lee way?

To be honest I would just stop infantilising her

I’m not at all, I’m the one suggesting CM gets reduced and she can cover her own costs. I just think she’s fucking her life up and making a massive mistake

full time college isn't for everyone
She was doing 9-4 at college 3 days a week, I know technically that’s classed as a full time course but she could still work on the other 4 days if she wanted to and still have time for study in the evenings

Yes, CB and CM will/can stop. So that's a discussion for your DP, his DD, and his ex.

Other than that, it's entirely up to her.

My DS is 17 and has no intention of going to college or uni come summer. Just wants to earn.

After the two years they've had, I'm happy for him to do that, have some fun with it.

I know he has a good work ethic and isn't daft. He'll figure things out in his own time, as I did, and many others.

I imagine she'll get bored eventually and want to do something more interesting with her life. If she's only 17 she's got plenty of time to go back to studying or get an apprenticeship. And it won't hurt to have some money behind her.

The only interfering I would do is to encourage her to save something and not spend it all on nails and clothes.

Honestly let her get on with it. It's easier to go back to education than it was in the past with online learning and access for mature students. It will be good for her and yes it will become tedious...also when she realises how much money she has, after paying bills, accommodation, clothes etc, her perspective will change.

I just think she’s fucking her life up and making a massive mistake

She's 17, working full time. Not really sure how that's making a massive mistake? If she wasn't happy at college, let it go for now. It wasn't working for her. She'll come back to it - or something else - when ready.

I just think she’s fucking her life up and making a massive mistake

With the right guidance and boundaries it may be the making of her.

She's 17, working full time. Not really sure how that's making a massive mistake? If she wasn't happy at college, let it go for now. It wasn't working for her. She'll come back to it - or something else - when ready

Because it’s a dead end job, there’s no progression. Her mum has done similar and is now 40, never owned her own home, never had a career, and it worries me that as soon as CM and benefits completely stop then she’ll have no way of fully supporting herself financially… hence my question about CB in my OP.
I don’t want that for SD, she could be so much more

Have you had the money budget chat with her yet?

She could always go back in sept and CB etc would be reinstated. She’s probably giddy with her earnings now but if you guide her re budgets and outgoings this might concentrate her mind?

OP - my niece who I love dearly is about to get a reality check.

Currently at Uni but working 2 days per week to help support herself and living at home. I am a poor student was the cry - then we sat her down and went through her disposable income versus costs.

She she had £1800 pcm to live on !
Bills - half her car insurance

She is about to move into a flat share and she has mentioned all her bills.

Love her dearly but she suddenly realises how cushy life at home with all bills paid is - your DSD needs a reality check asap!

she's 17! there's plenty of time to realise that there could be more out there for her. She's working full time and is seemingly happy with that fact. Why can't that be enough for now?

You also need to realise that plenty of people manage on minimum wage.

At 17 she needs to understand that if she stays working then she needs to pay board / bills / hair etc

If you want her back in college the the money needs to stop.

She needs to pay for herself and the CM stops as well

If her mum can't afford to live without CB and maintenance the she needs to ask her daughter for a contribution.

Don't see why you SD get £1200 a month and her parents are struggling.

She might then decide to go back to college. I get why you are worried. She'll potentially be stuck in low paid work forever.

[quote SpongebobNoPants]@LethargicActress he’s really stretching himself at the moment because he pays for all her extras including phone, hair (including colour), half of all her clothes, pocket money etc. He’s thinking SD can fund these elements herself now and he’ll just pay basic CM.[/quote]
If my daughter were working fulltime I would expect her to pay these things out of her own wages. If she were studying I might give some pocket money until 18 just so she didn't have to give up college in order to work. But as she has chosen to work she gets the responsibilities that go with that. So she pays her way as many of us did working from that age.

However, in this situation it is up to the father to decide, and the mother to decide about charging board. But in his shoes I would no longer be covering costs. They're giving her an unrealistic sense of what it means to work full time on her wage, as she is not living within her means. If she were, she might see the benefit of working towards a qualification to boost her pay.

Her Mum will have to get a job then.

It's her life and her choice.

She's chosen to step out of education into an adult world earning an adult wage therefore your dh should stop his payments altogether.

She's earning more than enough to support herself if that's what she's chosen.

Not your problem

Her mum will have to declare she's working full
Time and sort out her finances with her end of.

Again not your problem.

There's nothing wrong with what she's doing if it makes her happy and there may not be job progression in that particular role but that's not to say she won't move somewhere else to gain a career.

Uni isn't everything nowadays and I know a lot of people coming out of uni and working normal full time jobs because they can't get work in their sector so at least she's cutting out the debt.

Also not everyone is academic and not everyone's practical.

Maybe she could look at apprenticeships

No idea about child benefit. She should be in some sort of training.I think her parents should try everything possible to persuade her back into some sort of education/ training. Maybe look up alternative courses for her if she doesn't like the original one. She thinks she is earning mega bucks now but that is because, as you say, it is all disposable income. She will get a big shock when she wants to become independent and discovers just how far that type of income goes when there are bills to pay.

Her Mum will have to get a job then
That’s a whole other topic for a different day…

Uni isn't everything nowadays and I know a lot of people coming out of uni and working normal full time jobs because they can't get work in their sector so at least she's cutting out the debt

Oh I’m not talking about uni, no disrespect to my SD but there’s literally no hope of that happening, she’s not academic in the slightest. She was on a college course which would have given her a practical trade and give her qualifications to fall back on. Moving parcels from a conveyor belt to a crate won’t do that and she’s not got guaranteed hours either so I’m concerned that giving up her college course completely is a bad move. I don’t know why she doesn’t do both, she could work 4 days a week and still do her course.

Have you had the chance to discuss things with her?