Page 2 | How do we do holidays?

lostyy · 2022-01-06T22:47:20+00:00

Dp & i have a child each, his boy is 13 my girl is 8, how would we handle rooms etc on holiday? A 3 bed apartment? As they cant share due to age. Any ideas?

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BurntToastAgain · 08/01/2022 11:14

I was thinking the same. The age difference wouldn’t bother me. At least for a weekend they could share.

Why would anyone choose to put their teenage son in a situation where they have to share a room with an unrelated little girl?

(And vice versa)

lunar1 · 08/01/2022 12:55

There is no way I would allow my 13 year old DS to share with an unrelated 8 year old girl. I'd be one of those mum's 'kicking off' and 'withholding contact' with if their dad proposed that for a holiday!

Luckily the op hasn't suggested it. I wouldn't even like it if they were siblings.

Original poster

lostyy · 08/01/2022 13:55

Yes regardless of how they get on its very inappropriate for them to share in my opinion and was never an option, i just wondered how others did it.

Think we will have to suck up the extra cost as having no loving space of its used as a bedroom isnt ideal.

OP posts:

MorningNinja · 08/01/2022 20:24

I'd holiday separately.

It wouldn't be just the sleeping arrangements that would put me off - no 13 year old boy and 8 year old girl are going to prefer time with each other rather than their parent.

I holiday separately from my DP. It works best for our family dynamics and I get time with my DC.

Pinkyxx · 08/01/2022 23:23

How mortifying for an potentially self conscious 8 year old girl having to bunk in alone with a potentially self conscious 13 year old boy & vice versa.

Would caution treating unrelated step siblings of opposite sex as 'siblings' even if they've known each other forever. It's really inappropriate even if it does not feel so. Ex takes at least 5 holidays a year, our DD found it absolutely intolerable sharing a room with her ''brother'' (step brother of similar age) while going through puberty - she never felt comfortable but it got much worse around puberty. Being forced to under the guise of being 'brother and sister' had a very negative effect to the extent she barely sees her Father now. Gently suggesting to her Dad that separate rooms was more appropriate was deemed 'alienation', undermining the step family etc ex & his wife engaged lawyers / threatened court on several occasions over the years .. He did eventually concede to allow separate rooms when she started menstruating but by then the damage was done... seriously go for 3 bed even if one bed is in the living room.

KylieKoKo · 09/01/2022 00:27

I don't think it would be fair to make kids share at their ages. Ideally 3 bedrooms so you and your partner can have some space but if that's too expensive then each parent should share with their own child.

KiloWhat · 09/01/2022 06:09

@lostyy

Yes regardless of how they get on its very inappropriate for them to share in my opinion and was never an option, i just wondered how others did it.

Think we will have to suck up the extra cost as having no loving space of its used as a bedroom isnt ideal.

It will be ok if its a sofa bed and you're not planning on having massive lie ins

RobertSmithsLipstick · 09/01/2022 06:16

You could take an air mattress to put down in the living area, if there's room?

Duxiejhrhrvjz · 09/01/2022 21:11

@Pinkyxx

How mortifying for an potentially self conscious 8 year old girl having to bunk in alone with a potentially self conscious 13 year old boy & vice versa.

Would caution treating unrelated step siblings of opposite sex as 'siblings' even if they've known each other forever. It's really inappropriate even if it does not feel so. Ex takes at least 5 holidays a year, our DD found it absolutely intolerable sharing a room with her ''brother'' (step brother of similar age) while going through puberty - she never felt comfortable but it got much worse around puberty. Being forced to under the guise of being 'brother and sister' had a very negative effect to the extent she barely sees her Father now. Gently suggesting to her Dad that separate rooms was more appropriate was deemed 'alienation', undermining the step family etc ex & his wife engaged lawyers / threatened court on several occasions over the years .. He did eventually concede to allow separate rooms when she started menstruating but by then the damage was done... seriously go for 3 bed even if one bed is in the living room.

I’m not sure if your issue was resolved but I have twin DC and at their dads they were supposed to share a room. Meaning DD cried and didn’t want to go all the time. I insisted it was unsuitable as it wouldn’t be allowed on school trips or in a children’s home so why is it allowed in his home. I won. He got no overnights. These are my birth DS and DD and still it wasn’t suitable sharing a room.

gogohm · 10/01/2022 08:07

2 bed apartment with sofa bed. But it does depend on the kids, whilst some step siblings would be horrified at sharing others wouldn't mind, if they were actual siblings the same age/gender situation exists. My dd is sharing with dsd they offered (both young women)

tiredofthisshit21 · 10/01/2022 08:20

@gogohm

2 bed apartment with sofa bed. But it does depend on the kids, whilst some step siblings would be horrified at sharing others wouldn't mind, if they were actual siblings the same age/gender situation exists. My dd is sharing with dsd they offered (both young women)

These kids are not the same age or gender though - big difference. I wouldn't make my daughter share with either of her step brothers.